


Forgotten Secrets

by mescarlett



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-05-08 19:09:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 48,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14700399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mescarlett/pseuds/mescarlett
Summary: Continuation and conclusion of a previous story, Secret Revelations -- When Captain Kate Janeway and the USS Voyager-B are dispatched on a mission that brings some of her mother’s past back to the future, what will happen to all involved?  How far will the Captain go to protect and defend her own family, in particular her mother, Admiral Kathryn Janeway?





	1. Chapter 1

**Location** _**USS Voyager-B** _ **in Orbit above Earth**

It was hard to believe that Kate Janeway had been serving as the Captain of the still relatively new _USS_ _Voyager-B_ for almost four years, and that her daughter had just recently celebrated her third birthday. It was crazy how fast time had gone by. _Voyager_ had just returned to Earth's orbit to await their instructions for their next mission. While some of the crew had been given leave to return to Earth to visit with family and friends, Kate had not yet left the ship as she and the senior crew were awaiting a conference meeting with the upper leadership at Starfleet Command.

A week ago, Kate had received notification from Admiral Jameson about _Voyager's_ upcoming mission, and to be honest, she was somewhat hesitant about it. It would send the ship teetering on the edge of the Alpha Quadrant close to the Badlands, where so many years ago her own mother's _Voyager_ was lost for seven years. Additionally, there had been reports of a resurgence of the Borg now prevalent in that vicinity, which was one of the reasons _Voyager_ was likely being dispatched for verification of the authenticity of that rumor. Kate would be lying if she didn't admit to being slightly apprehensive over this mission. In one of their previous senior staff meetings, Commander Sage Walker, her First Officer, pointed out that a number of the crew, who had children currently onboard the ship, feared their children going on this mission and wanted to discuss the possibility of leaving them behind with relatives.

Shortly after that meeting, Kate returned to her ready room where Commander Walker soon joined her to discuss the situation. The thought had even crossed Kate's mind because she didn't want her own child anywhere near Borg territory, but could she live with the possibility of not seeing her daughter for an extended period of time? She and Commander Walker discussed the various options, and while she argued that point he argued with her over whether could she deal with the realization that her daughter was assimilated by the Borg or captured by some other wayward alien species. The children were prime targets because they were so young and impressionable. Kate concurred with Walker that they would hold a meeting with the crew prior to their departure and let them make that decision on their own, but even she was still teetering on what to do herself because asking her parents to ultimately raise her three year old, handful of a daughter would be more a burden than she wanted to place on anyone.

Walker, who always was a reason in the darkness, added his two cents to the mix. "Kate," he stated dropping her rank, which was a rarity that he ever did. "Look, I know Kiernan is your daughter, and I know you would never put her in harm's way. Yet, I also know how much you love and care for her. She is your prize possession. However, as your First Officer, whose job it is to be the Captain's second hand and second conscious at times, I have to remind you, that as a Captain, you have to adhere to Starfleet regulations. I'm saying this as your friend and not your First Officer. Kate, you have a tough choice to make – choosing between Starfleet and your daughter, as does every other crew member on this ship. No matter what you decide personally, they will follow your lead. I say all that to say, taking Kiernan with you could pose no risk at all. She's a highly gifted and intelligent child. If we don't encounter the Borg, then there was no harm whatsoever in taking her or any of the other children along, just as we have on these prior missions. But should we encounter the Borg, where will your mind and focus be? Will it be on the battle of fighting the Borg or is it going to be focused on your daughter?

"I know that sounds harsh, but it's a decision that you could potentially have to face, not just with the Borg but with anyone. Look, I know you love Kiernan, and if you choose to leave her behind with your parents or someone else, no one will think any less of you for making that call nor do I think she will think any differently of you either. I know she's still very young, Kate, but I've never seen a child with such an intellect as she has. Talk the situation over with her, and she what she thinks. No matter what you decide, you'll have my support and I'll do everything I can to help. Just like any other Starfleet mission, it is uncertain as we have no idea what may or may not lie ahead. But with the rumor mill of the possible presence of the Borg on the horizon, I just wanted to talk to you about this. I know it's in the back of your mind, but don't allow Starfleet to cloud your judgment when it comes to making a decision concerning your own child's safety and welfare," he added before leaving her office to return to his duties, which only left her mind spinning a mile a minute.

Back at Starfleet Headquarters, Kathryn had been notified and been looped in on what the newest mission proposal was for _Voyager_ , and she had discussed with not only Chakotay, Phoebe and Gretchen her thoughts, but she even discussed with Will and Deanna Troi-Riker. All were hesitant on how to approach the subject with Kate, but Kathryn knew she would have to bring it up for the sake of her granddaughter. But additionally, Kathryn told Deanna that she felt that Kate needed a confidant onboard this mission. Someone she could rely exclusively in. Someone that she could trust and someone that would know when something was bothering Kate. Deanna knew immediately that Kathryn wanted her on that ship to be Kate's conscious, and Deanna, in some strange way, felt that it was necessary as she had previously been thinking the same thing herself.

Shortly after the senior staff meeting concluded with Starfleet Command, Kate instructed Commander Walker to schedule a meeting with the _Voyager_ crewmembers who had children along with herself for the following morning. As soon as their discussion ended, Kate excused herself and told her crew that she needed to beam down to Earth, as she had some important business to conduct but they could reach her at a moment's notice should they need her.

Upon arriving on Earth, she headed straight for Starfleet Academy and to her father's office, which was her ultimate first choice because she needed to see him first to steady herself for her upcoming discussion. After knocking on the door, she poked her head inside and found him at his desk where he was intently studying some notes.

"If you study that too intently, you're going to get a headache," she deadpanned.

His head shot up, clearly not having heard her previous knock, and he broke out into a wide smile before he stepped across the room and enveloped her in a hug. "Oh, sweetheart, it is so good to see you. I've missed you so much," Chakotay replied.

"I've missed you, too, Edoda."

He smiled and motioned for her to take a seat but she shook her head preferring to stand. "What brings you by?" he questioned.

She smiled in return. "Well, naturally, I wanted to see you, but I wanted to see if you could help me break Mom out of Starfleet Command as there's something I need to talk to the two of you about."

He raised his eyebrow and responded, "You mean to tell me that you came to see me before you saw your mother?" At her nodding affirmative in response, he joked, "Oh, she's going to be so jealous now. But of course, let's go for a walk and I'll have her meet us. This is usually around the time of day she takes a break and meets me for coffee anyways."

Kate shook her head. "You two are so cute. Still acting lovey-dovey and all."

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and replied, "Somethings are just too good to let go of. Any time I can spend with your mother is still some of the best time of my life."

Kate wrapped her arm around his waist and they continued to stroll along the pathway towards Chakotay and Kathryn's rendezvous point. As they were walking, Chakotay couldn't help but chuckle and tapped Kate's shoulder as Kathryn, who had been previously strolling in their direction had come to an abrupt stop.

"Shit!" Kate said and unwound herself from Chakotay. "She probably thinks I'm some other woman."

Chakotay stopped and looked down at Kate with an expression of somewhat disbelief on his face.

"I know, I know, you would never cheat on Mom, but I mean it did probably look a little suspicious. But I mean, what if," and she was cut off.

"Little Kathryn, stop babbling."

They both glanced back up and saw that Kathryn had picked up her pace.

"Kate?" they heard her say from afar.

Kate closed the gap and practically picked her mother off the ground in a bear hug. Once she eventually set her back down on the ground, she looked down into her mother's piercing eyes. "Hi, Mom."

Kathryn placed both of her hands on Kate's cheekbones and leaned up to kiss her daughter's forehead. "Oh, how I've missed you, my angel."

"I've missed you so, so much, Mom, and I'm sorry if you thought I was some other…"

Kathryn was shaking her head. "Never. I was a little confused at first as to who Chakotay would have his arms wrapped around, but then I recognized it was you and my heart beamed. Plus, I know he would never cheat on me or else he'd be a dead man walking," she added with a slight bit of humor in her voice.

Kate smiled and kept an arm wrapped around her Mom. "I need to talk to the two of you about something, and that's why I'm here. Can we go somewhere and chat for a few minutes?"

"Of course," Kathryn nodded while looking at Chakotay to see if he had any inkling of what this was about. He shrugged his shoulders and went ahead to the café and grabbed them some drinks before returning to find them seated at a table in the park overlooking the Bay.

"I've sure missed this view over the past three years," Kate stated while staring at the ships moving about in the Bay.

Kathryn reached across the table and patted her daughter's hand. "Honey, what's the matter? What's on your mind?"

Kate glanced back across the table at both of her parents and took a deep breath before she plunged ahead to asking for one of the biggest favors that she had ever had to ask anyone in her entire life.

"As I'm sure the both of you know _Voyager_ is about to be deployed on a mission to the outer skirts of the Alpha Quadrant, no less towards the Badlands, to investigate the possible resurgence of the Borg. A number of our crewmembers have expressed grave concern over taking their children on this mission. I've scheduled a meeting with them tomorrow morning to discuss their ideas, express their concerns and ultimately give them the opportunity to leave their children behind with loved ones if they so desire. Obviously, I cannot deny them that opportunity due to the risk of the nature of our mission. That being said, when Commander Walker first came to me with these voiced concerns, he questioned me over my own intentions regarding my own child.

"At first, I was somewhat taken aback by his forwardness as I felt he was questioning my authority to command a starship while also caring for my child. But, as I retreated to my quarters that evening and watched as Kiernan lay sleeping in her bed, I began to understand his concerns. I began to see that he wasn't necessarily asking because he was questioning my command, he was asking for my child's sake, who didn't have a say in the matter because she didn't know what was about to come down the pike. He questioned whether I was willing to take on such a great risk, just as the other parents had inquired with him. I've been pondering the thought for over a week. With the plausibility of the Borg coming back, I don't want Kiernan or any of the other children, let alone my own crew, anywhere near them. The children are the most vulnerable as they really aren't capable of fending for themselves and should we come under attack, our primary focus, as those in command of the ship, has to be upon saving _Voyager_.

"Tomorrow, I have to meet with the crewmembers who are the parents of all the other children onboard. I don't know what decision they will make, but I have all ideas they will follow suit with whatever decision I make, which is why I'm here. As a Captain, I have to look out for my crew and I have to be willing to make the ultimate sacrifice to go down with my ship. Fortunately, we've not been placed in any dire situations quite yet, but I fully anticipate that coming to fruition during this mission. That being said, I cannot fully decipher whether I would be capable of devoting one hundred percent of my focus on being the Captain of _Voyager_ when I know that I also have a child onboard who has no one else to care for her while her mother sits in the big chair. And subsequently, I don't want my crew to think that by my not leaving my child behind, that they shouldn't either.

"I say all of that to say, as much as I despise asking for favors, I need to do so. For my own sake, I need to see if you both would be willing to take Kiernan into your home and lives and care for her. I fully well intend to return for her once this mission has been completed, but should something transpire, I want to know that she is safe and I know that she would be safe with the two of you – her grandparents. I know you haven't physically seen or touched her in almost three years, but she's not a stranger since you have near daily communications with each other. She is a handful, and I honestly hate even having to ask for a favor such as this. I'm not doing it so that it gives my crewmembers peace of mind in making their own decisions, I am doing it as Kate the Mother, who honestly fears for her own child's safety while on this mission. So, with that being said, and quite honestly I don't know how else to say it but, would you be willing to take care of my child for an indefinite period of time?"

Kathryn and Chakotay exchanged brief glances. Even though they spoke no words, they didn't have to as they both knew the other would respond the same exact way. Kathryn reached across the table and took Kate's hand in her own and held it for a few seconds before she summoned her response.

"Sweetheart, I know for a fact that I can speak for your father on this one, but you don't ever need to hesitate to ask us for anything at all, and particularly when it comes to Kiernan. I can understand your hesitation as when I found out I was pregnant with you, very similar thoughts crossed through my mind. But sadly, in some ways you're right, when we become a captain of a starship, sometimes our lives have to go on hold, which isn't fair to those around us or even ourselves, believe me, I know. We at times have to push our own desires and wishes, and even our families to the backburner, to uphold the values that we pledged to do. Is it fair? Is it right? I don't know as that is often debatable.

"You love what you do, but you also love and worship your daughter. You've done a remarkable job for the past three years balancing your personal and professional lives, and likely incorporating Kiernan into as much as possible upon _Voyager_. But that being said, I completely understand your hesitation. Chakotay and I would be honored to look after her and take care of her. You just let us know her schedule and what special things she needs and we'll take care of her. I'm actually humbled that you would even ask us to keep her."

Kate furrowed her eyebrows. "Why wouldn't I ask you? You're her grandmother and my mother. If this has anything to do with our past and the choice you made all those years ago, forget it. Kiernan loves and worships you more than anything. I think it'll be good for her to adapt to life on Earth. She does have a routine, but it'll be different here. She just needs to continue her schooling, but she does not require anything special nor do you need to give her any special treatments and spoil her. Just treat her as your own."

Chakotay smiled. "Have you talked to her about this?"

Kate laughed. "Commander Walker suggested I talk to her about this before I made my decision, but no, I haven't talked to her. I think she suspects something has been on my mind as she and I have been talking a lot about the two of you lately. And while I think she might be a bit apprehensive initially, she'll warm quickly. I just hope the other children will adjust, as well. But maybe somehow keeping them together will help, if they are in the same school and such. But won't this interfere with your lives?"

Kathryn shook her head no. "It'll be an adjustment, but the way our schedules are with my work and Chakotay's teachings, it'll actually be a perfect fit. And goodness knows that Cassie will enjoy having a playmate, too. But Kate, in turn, I want to ask you a favor."

Kate took a sip from her drink and raised her eyebrow in response to her mother's statement. "Okay?" she questioned with somewhat hesitation.

Kathryn glanced at Chakotay, as she somewhat wondered how Kate would respond to her demand before she responded.

"I want you to take Counselor Troi-Riker with you on this mission."

Kate looked rather shocked. "Deanna? Might I ask why?"

The look that came across Kathryn's face was full of sincerity. "You know why, Kathryn. You're going to need her. You lost Michael, but you had Kiernan to fill the void. This time, you're not going to have Kiernan, and I don't know what you may or may not face while on this mission. Plus, I know you're wired like me, and at some point, everything that has happened is going to hit you at full force, and I want her there with you to support you and to guide you."

Kate sat stoically and didn't initially respond, as she let it all sink in. She knew in the past three years, she had remained strong for the sake of her daughter. But there had been moments when she had teetered on the edge of collapse – from losing Michael to reflecting back on other things in her past that still haunted her. Taking Deanna along may not be a bad thing, as she honestly could likely use a good ear to confide in at the moment, but she didn't like the way her mother suddenly brought this out and upon her.

"Are you ordering me to take her?" Kate responded with a slight trace of tension hidden within her voice,

Picking upon the brief tonal inflection change, Chakotay raised his eyebrow fearing that a war was about to break out between the Admiral and the Captain, so he decided to intervene.

"She's not ordering you, but I'm sure she could if you forced her to pull rank," he paused to let his statement hang out there for a moment before changing his tone to concern. "Kate, we are concerned about you. You've been through an enormous amount in your life, and the past five years have been tumultuous to say the least with your own near brushes with death, the loss of your husband and so many other incidents. This mission is going to allow you too much alone time, too much quiet time. Back during our span in the Delta Quadrant, your mother went through a very similar period where she had had so much piled up on her that she finally snapped and was about to do something very irrational until the crew and I intervened. She had all but isolated herself from the crew and wouldn't allow anyone to reason with her. The one day during the midst of her solitude, our ship was somewhat attacked by an alien race, who merely wanted protection from another alien race. She was prepared to stay behind in the Delta Quadrant, alone in a shuttle, to save _Voyager_ and protect the alien race. She wasn't thinking clearly because she had allowed the past of being trapped in the Delta Quadrant and numerous other issues catch up with her and cloud her judgment.

"I'm not saying that you would react that same way as you are wired both differently than your mother and I. But I know you won't confide in anyone on that ship, not even Galina Amaez. So, for our sakes and for Kiernan's, take Deanna. I know you trust her, and you'll have time to talk and open up to her about whatever is plaguing your mind. Additionally, she will be a useful assessment particularly with her abilities should you encounter the Borg."

Kate listened to the words of her father, and Kathryn could tell that she had somewhat become less defensive. She leaned back and turned her head to face the breeze and stared off into the sparkling waters of the San Francisco Bay. She was deep in thought. She knew what her parents were saying was accurate and very likely true, but in some ways, she still hated being confronted by her past in that way. Yet deep down, she knew she couldn't likely handle it on her own, as she thought she could.

Glancing back towards them, she finally replied. "Is Deanna in on this? I mean I know the _Titan_ is also in orbit, but asking her to leave not only her current position onboard the _Titan_ but ultimately leave her husband, that's a big request."

Kathryn cleared her throat before responding. "Yes, Deanna is aware of this. She, Will, Chakotay and I all have had a discussion about this. They are as equally worried about you as Chakotay and I are. Will knows the sacrifice and the risk, but he has agreed and honestly thinks it's for the best. He even said not only would it be a benefit for you, but it could also prove an asset for the crew because who knows what you may or may not encounter. None of us want you and your crew going on this mission, but Starfleet chose the best that there was and the ship that is most capable. Ultimately, we know what's at stake, and it's not an ultimatum by any means. I don't mean to say that we won't take care of Kiernan if you don't take Deanna, not at all. It's merely a strong suggestion that you take her with you."

Kate nodded her head and stared off again into the distance for a few moments leaving both her parents wondering what was going through her mind. "Let me give it some thought. I'm not opposed to it explicitly, but let me think about it, and you'll have my decision first thing in the morning. I've got to get back to _Voyager_ and talk with Kiernan about all of this, and then conduct a meeting with the other crewmembers in the morning, as well. Once I finish that, I'll let Will and Deanna know my decision, as well as Starfleet because I am sure there will have to be some sort of transfer notification completed. Additionally, at some point tomorrow, Kiernan and I will beam back down and meet up with the two of you, as well."

Chakotay patted her hand. "I'm looking forward to seeing her again. Do you think she's going to put up any sort of resistance to leaving you?"

Kate shrugged her shoulders. "That I'm not sure. You both know she's highly intelligent and knows more than most children her age or even several years older. She's never lived anywhere but _Voyager_ , aside from the few months as a newborn when we were here. So, I think it'll be an adjustment, but since she knows the two of you via subspace communications, I think she will adapt well. I'll try to give you a heads up, but I think what will likely happen is that she may likely become very clingy, and Mom, I'm not sure how well you'll handle that."

Chakotay chuckled and Kathryn furrowed her eyebrows. "Why would you say that?" she questioned.

"Well, you don't necessarily seem like the clingy, touchy-feely type person. I could be highly wrong about that. I mean Kiernan is very hard-headed and strong-willed, so she's not that way with me unless she's very tired or anxious. Often we'll cuddle or something before she goes to bed or something simple. She's a very loving child, so naturally, I'm going to assume that she's going to latch on to you, so I just want you to be prepared for that."

Kathryn titled her head sideways and smirked. "Well, I can be a cuddler, too," she added and laughed, which elicited a roll of the eyes in response from Kate. "Actually, you're probably right, I used to not always be the clingy type, as I didn't handle that very well. Phoebe was more natured in the loving way, but as I've gotten older, I've become more loving and adaptive, right Chakotay?"

Kate threw up both hands and made a coughing sound. "I don't want to know about that."

Chakotay chuckled and smiled, "She is very loveable with Cassie. I think you've seen snippets of that side of her with Cassie, plus you've seen it with yourself. When she's relaxed and with you outside of work, she lets her true colors come out. She'll be fine with Kiernan, I'm sure of it."

Kate couldn't help but smile as he always had a way to reassure her, even though she knew Kathryn and Kiernan would be completely fine. "Well, I think losing the red hair might have helped a lot," Kate commented replying to her mother's adjustment back to her normal brownish red hair with specks of grey becoming more prevalent, as opposed to the flaming red locks that she had transformed into several years ago. "Not that I didn't like the hair, but this is your natural and it is much more becoming and maternal on you."

Chakotay laughed, to which Kathryn shot him a death glare. "What?" he laughing said. "She's telling the truth, Kathryn. While the red hair did bring out an entirely different personality, one that I quite enjoyed, I do prefer the natural look, if I had to choose."

"What about him?" Kathryn excitedly replied while pointing to Chakotay. "His hair color has changed, but you don't say anything about that?"

Kate laughed. "Well, Mom, I don't recall Edoda every having anything other than black or salt and pepper. He didn't go through a mid-life crisis and spice up his life by adding red to his hair. Now did he? He actually looks dashing and more scholarly like the professor he is with his more natural silvery hair."

He smiled. "Thank you, sweetheart. And you're right, I didn't feel the need to add any color to my hair, but I think I did spice up my life," he added while wrapping his arm around Kathryn's shoulders and pulling him closer to him before kissing her cheek. "You could add some burgundy highlights if you wanted," he joked.

Kathryn rolled her eyes and stood from the table. "It never fails you two always gang up on me, but that's okay, I'll be sure to train my little Kiernan to always side with me," she added with a wink.

Kate stood and went around to hug both of her parents. "Thank you both for being willing to undertake this monumental task. I've got to get back to the ship, but I'll be in touch tomorrow morning."

They walked with her back to the transport station where she vanished before their eyes. Kathryn turned to look at Chakotay, who was smirking down at her. "Do we know what we just got ourselves in to?" she asked.

He laughed. "Well, if Kiernan is as stubborn and hard-headed as her grandmother, we're all in trouble. But, Kathryn, in a way, Kate is also offering us a second chance on a silver platter."

"What do you mean?" she asked while taking hold of his hand as they talked back towards Starfleet Headquarters.

"You always said you regretted giving her up for adoption, and she knew how I always wished I had been able to see her grow up, too. What if she's entrusting us with keeping Kiernan almost as a gift? Almost as if she knows what we both longed for and she's giving us that time to spend and watch Kiernan mature. No, it won't be for her entire childhood and youth, but it's an opportunity that we've both wanted. I personally think Kate has been debating this long before Commander Walker even mentioned it to her."

Kathryn stopped walking and studied him carefully. Tears slowly crept in to her eyes but she blinked them back so they didn't fall down her face. "You may be right, Chakotay. Even if that wasn't her immediate intention; it is almost like a second chance. No, it's not her, but it's the next closest thing."

He gave her a quick hug knowing she had to get back to some meetings. After kissing her on the cheek, he looked deep in her eyes. "Just don't spoil her, Kathryn. I'm not sure Kate would ever forgive us for that."

"Me!?" she exclaimed. "I doubt I'll be the one spoiling her."

He laughed and watched as she disappeared back into the building to her office before he carefully strode back to his office at the Academy to re-examine his schedule as their lives were drastically about to change.


	2. Chapter 2

Location – USS Voyager orbiting above Earth

As soon as Kate reappeared in the transporter room, Commander Walker was awaiting her.

"This isn't a good sign, if you're here awaiting me," she stated and raised an eyebrow at him before they headed out of the room and down the corridor.

"It's nothing urgent or bad, ma'am. I did meet with the crewmembers with children and we have scheduled the meeting for 0800 tomorrow. But, Kate, have you made a decision regarding Kiernan?"

His dropping her rank had caught her slightly off-guard, especially since they were still walking down the main hallways amidst fellow crew members. While she preferred to be equal with her team, it was rare that Commander Walker dropped her rank. He did on very personal occasions, as he and Kate had slowly become friends but nowhere near the closeness that her mother had with Chakotay. Kate stopped mid-stride in the corridor and turned to look at him.

"As a matter of fact, I have made my decision. I'll be discussing that with her a little later this evening," she replied. She knew that he meant well asking, but the way it had come across to her almost made it seem he wanted to be clued in in advance on her decision. And, since he was definitely not Kiernan's father nor did he even really have a role in her life, she wasn't going to relay that decision to him in advance of meeting with the crew. "Also, Commander, we may need to arrange one of the guest quarters on the senior officer's deck or else refresh the VIP quarters for a potential guest for this mission. That will be finalized tomorrow morning, as well. Let the crew know that we will likely depart on our mission no later than 1500 tomorrow."

"Yes, ma'am," he replied. Though he was filled questions about the potential new guest, he knew not to question her, especially not when she had the Admiral Janeway stance and walk going as he had learned quickly thanks to the original Voyager crew members. He knew she had something on her mind, and everyone knew to let her handle it her own way or risk setting her off if interrupted. But he slightly suspected that she may be keeping Kiernan onboard and now bringing along one of her parents to keep an eye on her, as he couldn't really determine who else may be in need of guest lodging.

"Oh, and Commander, please schedule a meeting with the senior staff members immediately following our meeting with the other crewmembers tomorrow morning, okay?"

"Of course, Captain," he added before retreating down the corridor and heading back to the bridge towards his office.

Kate in turn strolled down to her quarters where she sat down at her desk and did some quick thinking. After a few moments, she sent a subspace message to the Titan where she asked the communications specialist for a face-to-face video conference with Counselor and Commander Deanna Troi-Riker. The ensign placed Kate on a temporary hold until he could reach Deanna, but within seconds, her face appeared on Kate's screen.

"I knew you'd be calling me," Deanna replied before breaking out into a smile. "How've you been, sweetheart?"

Kate smiled back and stared at Deanna for a few moments, knowing that the empath could sense her emotions. "I've been fine. Always on the go with Starfleet, right? How've you and Will been?"

"We are doing well. I'm guessing you must have talked to your mother?"

Kate slightly rolled her eyes, which was met with a light chuckle from Deanna. "You know we have a slight crisis currently onboard our ship, so I had to beam down to meet with my parents to see if they would do me a big favor before I have to confront the rest of my crew tomorrow."

Deanna nodded, "Let me guess. The danger level of this mission is quite elevated, which I am aware, so a number of the parents of the children aboard are hesitant about their children accompanying?"

"Naturally, D, and I have been pondering it myself before Commander Walker even brought the notion to my attention of the crew's concerns. I'm terrified for Kiernan, and in this instance, I just don't think I can decipher between my two roles – Captain and Mother. Should something happen to her, it would absolutely destroy me. So, I went down to meet with my parents to ask them if they'd be willing to take her and keep her until we complete this mission."

Deanna's eyes widened in almost a sign of astonishment. "That's a bold move for you because I know how attached you are to her. But, I also know that Kathryn and Chakotay are more than capable of taking care of her, and are likely very honored by this request. Additionally, sweetheart, I know you, and I know that you will go to any lengths necessary to accomplish whatever task may be put in front of you. I know you struggled making this decision because you don't take any decision lightly, especially when it comes to Kiernan. But, to be honest with you, I think you made the right call."

Kate nodded her head. "Yes, I don't have any hesitation about leaving her with Mom and Edoda, as I know she will be safe and protected. I just hated asking them for the favor."

"Don't. I know you hate asking for favors, but knowing them, I know they're actually thrilled that you asked."

Kate twiddled with something on her desk before replying. "Well, it was during that meeting earlier today that my mother dropped the counter-offer, so to speak, that if they keep Kiernan, I needed to take you with us. She later backed off and said they would still keep Kiernan but strongly suggested that you accompany us on this journey. I haven't given her my official answer because I wanted to talk to you because Deanna this is a huge risk. I'm not sure I would know how to even address Will should something happen to you."

Deanna smiled faintly at her friend before she replied. "You know, Kate, it actually wasn't your mother's initial idea that I accompany Voyager on this mission. It was actually Will's idea and partly mine, as well."

Kate's eyebrows both shot up, as she had not anticipated that response. "Excuse me?" she questioned.

"I wasn't going to ask you initially because I knew it would confuse you. Will and I were having dinner with Chakotay and Kathryn one evening and she mentioned your upcoming mission. Will and I later discussed the topic in private and the next time we joined them for dinner, we gave them the proposal. She wanted to be the one to mention it to you as she thought it would, I assume maybe be more of a formal request coming from her."

"But, why?"

"You know why, Kate. You know I can sense things, and I know from our past discussions some of your unspoken worries and fears. You're still fighting a lot of your demons. You've not grieved over Michael, and leaving Kiernan behind is going to leave you susceptible to inordinate amounts of time alone. During those times, I know, are your most vulnerable yet strongest times. Not only can I be an asset to your ship, as I can aide in the assisting of their needs and also sensing of anything out of place in the atmosphere, but you and I can continue our in depth sessions to continue to move you along through your recovery period."

Kate pondered this for a moment. It was definitely not something she had thought of – that it was initially Deanna's idea and not her mother's. She knew Deanna was reading her and sensing her thoughts and emotions. "And Will is okay with this?"

Deanna smiled. "Will knows the risks, and he knows that you would question me, too. If you need to ask him yourself, you can, but he knows the risk, but he's also concerned about you. He doesn't think you'll do anything irrational by any means, but the separation from Kiernan, who is your rock, causes us all to worry somewhat."

Kate let it sink in as she thought to herself, He is doing this as a protection for the whole crew and ship, not just for me alone.

Sensing her thoughts, Deanna interrupted. "Yes and no to answer that statement. He is doing it as a back-up and almost as an additional conscious for you and to protect your crew. However it's not because he doesn't trust you, Kate; it's because he loves you. We know you're more capable than any captain in all of Starfleet to lead this mission and succeed because of who you are. But, Will and I both know your personal history and how you hold things in. We know more than your own mother does, and we would never betray that trust that we've built with you. He worries about you, just as I do and your parents do. I know you're going to lead your crew into a successful mission, but what happens behind closed doors, Kate? Who are you going to confide in and trust about your personal matters? I'm not telling you to take me, but I am strongly suggesting you need me on this mission, not for your sake but for your crew."

Kate looked Deanna square in the eye and held her eye contact for a long time. "You're right, as much as I hate admitting it. I'm not sure what we may face, and we could use all the experts possible, and well, I guess I do need you, too," Kate added and allowed a small smile to creep across her face.

Deanna smiled back, as Will crept his head into the screen. "I knew you'd come to your senses soon enough" he added and smiled. "And yes, I am fine with her going. She's got the best captain leading her on this mission, and I know you'll take care of my Deanna."

Kate studied the two of them intently. "I will protect her, you have my word on that Will, Captain Riker. That being said, Commander Troi-Riker, if you so choose to join my crew, we will depart at 1500 hours tomorrow. I am having a senior staff meeting around 0845 tomorrow morning. I would appreciate if, at all possible, you could be at that meeting around 0900. I would like to tell them in advance of your joining our crew, and then have you join us for the staff briefing. I'll make sure you have quarters set up close by mine, and we can transport the items you need before departure. After the senior staff meeting, you can go back and spend some time with Will, just as long as you are back onboard Voyager prior to our departure."

Admiring how she had switched back to her role as Captain, Deanna smiled and replied, "Yes, ma'am. But, I do have one question. When are you going to drop Kiernan off with your parents? Will and I would love to see her, but I understand the delicacy of the situation."

Kate nodded, "You two have dinner plans tonight? I'd invite you to join us for a very informal dinner in my quarters. I intend to take her down to them around lunchtime. If you're not free for dinner, you're more than welcome to join us for lunch."

Will and Deanna exchanged a glance. "Why don't we join you for dinner tonight, as I'm sure she's going to be filled with questions once you tell her about staying with them. We can help fill in the gaps as to why, and then if you think we should still join you for lunch, we will definitely do so. I don't want to interfere at all in her reunion with her grandparents."

Kate laughed. "That is a reunion that I cannot wait to see because I don't think Mom has any idea how big Kiernan has gotten. But yes, beam over around 1900, and we'll have dinner. I plan to go get her from her classes soon, and then I'll talk to her before your arrival. I know she's going to be thrilled to see Aunt Deanna and Uncle Will."

"And we look forward to seeing the both of you two. Riker's out," they stated and ended the transmission.

Kate leaned back in her chair before briefly glancing around her quarters and thanked her stars above that for the most part, her residing area still looked relatively neat and in place. She wouldn't have to do much tidying up before Will and Deanna's arrival. She took a second to send a notice down to the transporter room for anticipating their arrival and allowing them to proceed to her quarters once they arrived. She took a few moments to rearrange a few things in her office before she retreated from her quarters heading to pick up Kiernan.

As the doors opened to the hallway, Commander Walker stood outside of her door.

"Commander, I'm beginning to think you are following me around this ship. Are you anxious or something?"

He smiled back at her, which was a glorious smile, but she refused to become her mother and fall for her First Officer, although she didn't fault her mother one bit. But Commander Walker was no Chakotay at least Kate didn't think so.

"No, ma'am. I just came to let you know that the guest VIP quarters beside of your quarters have been updated and are ready should they be necessary," he stated while eyeing her suspiciously and wondering if she would confess to him what was about to transpire.

Kate stared at him for a moment. She knew that she had to give him a heads-up as to what was coming down the pike, as it wasn't fair to him to withhold that information. She had to maintain his trust because he was her First Officer and he had to always lookout for her, as well as the crew. Rather than breaking the news to him in her quarters, she decided on something else.

"Let me take a quick peek at them. Join me, Commander, as I need to discuss something with you," she ordered as the followed her into the VIP quarters next door to her own.

Together they stepped in and she briefly gave it a quick glance over along with her approval. She knew he was watching her carefully, and she finally turned her attention to him.

"Commander, I know you're full of questions, and there are no secrets on this ship, at least not between you and me. You know that I tend to keep my personal issues to myself. However, we will be having a guest join us on this mission, not just for my benefit but for the benefit of the entire ship. Commander and Counselor Deanna Troi-Riker will be coming over from the Titan to join us on this mission. Her empathic abilities will be a great asset to us throughout this mission. She and her husband will be coming over to join my daughter and me for dinner tonight. I have asked Deanna to join us at 0900 tomorrow for the senior staff meeting, although I will make the official announcement to the senior staff at 0845. Do you see any issues with this?"

Walker stopped and stared down at Kate pondering her defensive stance and somewhat closure. "You know, Captain, I am filled with questions, but I trust you implicitly and if Commander Troi-Riker needs to be onboard this ship, then I think it is appropriate and I believe the crew will adapt accordingly. May I ask, off the record, is this being ordered by Starfleet?"

Kate studied him for a moment before replying. "Officially, no; unofficially, yes, but it is actually the Counselor herself who is requesting the transfer, which actually came as a surprise to me."

He studied her with just as much intensity and he knew she was not lying to him. Before he could speak, she interrupted him.

"Listen, Sage. I know you and I don't share a lot of personal things, but my past has been anything but smooth. Deanna will be a great asset to our ship, trust me on that. But, she is going to be a big asset to me in many ways as I've been undergoing personal sessions with her for years now. Not many people know that, but you deserve to know the truth as I've not clued you in on a lot. I do trust you, but I may not always be as forthcoming in letting you know about certain, more personal things. I need to work on that and allow you to have more of an insight."

He smiled at her and nodded his head. "I know you're a private person, Kate, and it's never been my intention to jump in to your personal life. Your father warned me of that the day I met him on the bridge. He told me to not expect our command relationship to likely be anything like his and your mother's. I think you are remarkable. The strength and resilience that you have for any situation is impeccable. And while I was not aware of your sessions with Counselor Troi-Riker, it doesn't necessarily surprise me given your past, but I won't let anyone know about that either. I know it's hard for you to always want to include people in things involving your personal life, but I've seen you adjusting and allowing me a little more footing, and I appreciate that. I value you and respect you, and I know together we can continue to make a great command team. And, for what it's worth, I think you're an excellent mother, and I have a feeling that's another reason that you went along with Counselor Troi-Riker joining our crew."

Kate smirked and realized that he knew her better than she thought. "You know me better than I realized. I was hesitant about adding her to our crew because I didn't want to have to worry about her safety. But you're right, she is going to be an additional asset to me. I intend to tell the family crew members tomorrow that should they desire to leave their children behind, I cannot deny them that right, as I am fully prepared to tell them that it is my intention to leave Kiernan behind, as well."

He nodded his head. "I hate to say that's a good decision, but it is. Your judgment won't be impaired, not that I ever thought it would be. But you won't have to worry about her and the ship and separate your two roles should some sort of crisis occur. I know it's going to be tough for you, but this whole crew loves and adores you, and we will support you and all the other crew members who leave a portion of themselves behind. It'll definitely be different without Kiernan's presence on this ship. You should see her when she strolls on to the bridge to go to your ready room."

Kate raised her eyebrows and questioned, "What do you mean?"

"When little Miss Kiernan comes off the turbolift to go visit you, she strolls across the bridge as if she is the captain. She squares her shoulders and is very serious when she comes on the bridge. One would never assume she was only three years old, as she acts almost like she's thirty in that instance."

Kate couldn't help but laugh. "I guess it's in her genes, Starfleet that is. I know people often say I remind them of my mother, but sometimes, I think Kiernan is her spitting image. And I can only imagine how close they will bond during this timeframe."

"That will be interesting to see for sure. Well, I need to finish up a few things before shift change."

Kate nodded. "Yes, and I need to go get Kiernan before the Riker's come over. Thanks for all your help, Sage, and I promise, we'll continue to work together and I'll be more forthcoming."

He patted her on the arm. "Not to worry, ma'am, we'll get it all squared away."

Kate watched as he walked down the hallway and shook her head. At times, he did remind her of Chakotay but other times, he was a far cry from him.

Kate eventually made her way up a few decks to the miniature school house that they had created onboard this ship and she thought to herself how this was all about to change. The doors slid open and one of the young ensigns, who served as one of the three teachers greeted her.

"Good afternoon, Captain," she stated.

Kate glanced around and saw the children quietly working on some assignments. "Good afternoon, Ensign. Could I have a brief word with you, and then, if I can, I would like to go ahead and pick up Kiernan."

"Certainly, ma'am," she replied and the two of them stepped over to a semi-private area in the classroom.

"Ensign Allen, as you know, Voyager is being dispatched on a very risky mission. Tomorrow morning at 0800, I will be having a meeting with all of the crew members who have children onboard this ship. I would like for you and Ensigns Kelley and Wylee to join us in that meeting. I will have Lt. Amaez temporarily step in to assume guard control over the children while you all are in the meeting."

Allen nodded her head. "Yes, ma'am. We will be there, and I will relay that message to Kelley and Wylee, as well."

"Thank you for all that you do for these children. Your services do not go unnoticed."

"Thank you, ma'am. That means a lot, just as your time coming and spending with the children weekly means the world to them. I'll go get Kiernan for you now."

A few moments later, Kiernan came walking towards the door of the school room looking a little confused as to why she was being dismissed early. When she saw her mother standing there, she broke out into a wide smile, one that was eerily similar to Chakotay's, and practically leapt up into her mother's arms.

"Mommy!" she exclaimed.

"Shhh, quiet down and not disturb your classmates."

"Do I get to go home early today?"

"Just a little bit, yes."

"Goodie!"

Kate thanked the Ensign again and collected Kiernan's book bag and other items from Ensign Allen before retreating down the hallway. Kiernan took hold of her mother's hand and stopped walking. Kate looked down at the innocent child who was intently staring up at her mother.

"What's wrong, Mommy?" Kiernan questioned innocently and nearly broke Kate's heart in the process.

"Nothing's wrong, sweetheart, but we do need to go talk about some things, okay?"

Kiernan's eyes widened in horror. "Did I do something wrong, Mommy?"

"No, honey, not at all. It's nothing like that. Come on, let's go home for a little bit and have a little talk before I have a surprise for you."

At the mention of surprise, she jumped up and down and squealed with delight yet at the sight of an oncoming crewmember she immediately calmed back down before saying a friendly hello. Leave it to Kiernan to be the welcoming committee towards the crew.

Once they arrived in their quarters, Kate took Kiernan's book bag and items to her bedroom and told her daughter she could change out of her school uniform and into something more comfortable if she wanted. Kate used to help Kiernan change clothes, but she had developed a very stubborn streak and wanted to take care of her own self, so Kate started letting her take care on her own self. While waiting for Kiernan, she retreated back to the living room area and took her uniform jacket off and hung it on the back of the office chair before retreating to the kitchen to ponder what to prepare for dinner. She didn't hear Kiernan pattering across the floor but felt her tug on her pant legs before she felt her child practically wrap herself around her entire leg.

"Mommy, do you know how much I love you? And, can I have a snack, please?"

Kate chuckled at how Kiernan had mixed the two thoughts together, almost as if she were buttering her mother up. She didn't want to spoil her dinner, so Kate replicated her a small snack.

"Yes, I do know how much you love me, and I love you very much, too. But, you can't have much because we're going to have a big dinner, okay?"

"Sure," Kiernan said while sitting down at the dining room table to await for her snack.

Kate figured this was as best as anytime to talk to her, so she sat across from her with her tea and studied her child for a few moments. Kiernan sensed her, looked up and stared back into her mother's eyes. Both of them almost connecting on a level that would be foreign to some parents and children.

"Kiernan, I had to go down to Earth today," and she was interrupted.

"Did you see May-May?" Kiernan animatedly asked.

May-May was the name that she had chosen when referring to her grandmother, Admiral Kathryn Janeway. Kathryn was adamant about not being called Granny, Grandma, Mimi or anything like with an extreme grandmotherly tone. So, it was Kiernan, who came up with calling her May-May, and shockingly, Kathryn not only was fine with it, but absolutely loved it. Initially, Kate had tried to get Kiernan to refer to her grandparents by the Cherokee words for grandmother and grandfather, but Kiernan didn't seem to like that idea, so she stuck with her own terminology for both Kathryn and Chakotay. Kate had an idea of where the names Kiernan chose came from, but she didn't press her for clarity.

Kate smiled and said to her innocent child, "Kiernan, what have I told you about interrupting someone when they speak?" Kiernan nodded her head in response and Kate continued. "As a matter of fact though, I did see May-May and Pa-Tay, too for that matter," she paused as she could tell Kiernan wanted to ask some questions but when she refrained, Kate continued.

"That was one of the reasons I had to go to Earth. Starfleet is sending Voyager on a very dangerous mission for a while and a lot of the crewmembers are concerned about this mission, especially concerned for the children on this ship, including you. Sweetheart, you know as captain of this ship, I have all of the responsibility placed on me, and on top of that, being your mother places even more responsibility on my shoulders. The other parents of your classmates aren't sure that they want their children to remain onboard this ship during our mission because we aren't sure what may or may not happen because there is a chance we could encounter the Borg."

At the mere mention of the Borg, Kiernan put her food down and practically gasped. That was one alien race that absolutely traumatized her. Shockingly, she crawled down out of her chair and came across and crawled up in her mother's lap.

"Mommy, the Borg scare me," she said and buried her head in her mother's chest.

Kate smiled and kissed the top of her head before pulling up her face so she could look back at her. "I know they do, sweetheart. But that's why I went to see your grandparents. Honey, I'm not sure how to even tell you this, so I'm just going to say it. Tomorrow, I'm meeting with your classmates' parents and letting them know that if they want to, they can leave their children behind with family here on Earth for their safety and protection. I don't know how many of them will do so, but Starfleet is making arrangements to keep as many of you close by and in the same school classes as possible as we don't know how long this mission will be.

"I say that because I met with your May-May and Pa-Tay to talk to them to see if they would be willing to keep you. Kiernan, you know I love you with my entire heart, but I know the Borg scare you, and they should. I don't want them to hurt you or any of the other children, nor any of my crew. It's my job as the captain to protect all of you. But, I want you to be safe and not to even have to worry about seeing them. So, I want you to stay with your grandparents until I come back from this mission. Are you okay with that?"

Kiernan looked up at her and studied her for a few moments as if processing what she had to say. She finally nodded her head yes and replied. "Yes, Mommy, I can stay with them if Cassie can sleep with me."

Kate laughed at the counter-offer that her own child had come up with. "Well, I'm sure we can talk to May-May about that, but I am sure she will agree to it. I know you haven't seen them in person, but you know them from all your chats that you have via subspace communications. They will take good care of you and probably take you on a lot of adventures. I don't want you to think I'm asking them to take care of you because I can't protect you," and Kiernan held up her hand to interrupt.

"No, Mommy, I know that. You have a job to do, and you have to protect your crew, I am a part of the crew. You are protecting me because you are having May-May and Pa-Tay take care of me. I promise I'll be a good girl for them, but I'm going to miss you so much," she replied and bear hugged her mother.

Kate rubbed her daughters back and played with her hair for a few moments. "I'm going to miss you, too, honey. You can't say anything to your classmates because they will be talking to their parents after I meet with them tomorrow, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am. I promise."

"Now, you have to help me get ready for your surprise."

Kiernan leapt out of her mother's lap and on to her feet. "What surprise, Mommy?"

Kate smiled at her daughter. "Well, we have company coming for dinner, so I need you to help me fix dinner and get things ready."

Kiernan's eyebrow raised and she said, "Ooooh Mommy, is it Commander Walker?"

Kate squared her shoulders and shook her head. "Commander Walker?" she questioned in a shocked tone. "Where on earth did that come from?"

Kiernan's mouth fell open. "Oh, okay never mind. But who then, Mommy?"

Still momentarily rattled by the notion that Kiernan had suggested the man that Kate felt was following her around all day, she finally replied. "Well, it just so happens that your Uncle Will and Aunt Deanna are coming over from the Titan and wanted to join us for dinner. Does that sound okay with you?"

Kiernan started running in circles and squealing like she had won a prize. "Yes, Mommy! This is so exciting!"

Together the two of them began the preparation for their guests with Kate failing to tell Kiernan that Aunt Deanna would soon become a part of the Voyager crew. She feared that if she told Kiernan that, then her daughter may have a change of heart about going to stay with her grandparents thinking that Aunt Deanna could take care of her. While Kiernan was helping pick up a few things, Kate went to her desk and fired off a quick message to Deanna and Will notifying them to keep that topic mute. Initially she didn't know if they would receive the message, but Deanna responded within seconds indicating they received the message and would avoid that topic in its entirety. Kate knew that eventually Kiernan would find out, but she wanted that to be at a much later date, or at least until Voyager was well on its journey.

A little over an hour later, the chime to their quarters rang and Kiernan practically leapt for joy. She rushed to the door so that it would open and when the doors opened and Will and Deanna were standing on the other side, Kiernan jumped in the air and Will scooped her up in his arms.

"Well, hello there, little lady," he said while placing a kiss on her cheek to which she giggled at in response because of his beard tickling her face.

"Hi, Uncle Will," she said and placed a kiss on his cheek careful to avoid his whiskers. Then she turned her attention towards Will's wife and she squealed with joy. "Aunt DeeDee!"

Deanna leaned over and kissed the young one on the forehead and was about to take her out of Will's arms when Kate walked up and placed her hand on her daughter's back.

"What have we talked about regarding squealing onboard this ship?" Kate questioned while motioning for her guests to come into her quarters.

"Yes, ma'am. I'm sorry. I just got excited to see Uncle Will and Aunt DeeDee, but I promise, no more squealing," Kiernan replied climbing down out of Will's arms and wrapped her arms around Deanna's waist, which caused Deanna to look down at the sudden realization that this young child was already nearly half as tall as she was.

Kneeling down to her level, Deanna wrapped her arms around Kiernan and hugged her tightly before pulling back to look her square in the eyes. "My dear," she said with her heavy accent that caused Kiernan to beam, "You have grown so much that soon you're going to be taller than me!"

They all laughed as Kiernan giggled that adorable laugh of a child. Kiernan took Deanna off to show her her room, while Will worked with Kate in the kitchen and shared small chat about the upcoming mission and continued to try to assure Kate that he was perfectly fine with Deanna joining on the mission.

Shortly, after finishing their chat, Kate had finished up the meal and called out for Kiernan to bring her Aunt Deanna to dinner.

"You all are fortunate in that unlike my Mother I can actually cook or at least work a replicator, but this is actually a special recipe that is authentic, so I hope you'll enjoy. We are both so glad you could join us for dinner this evening," Kate commented.

"Well, you have a big mission ahead of you, and we didn't know when we'd get the chance to see you again. So, Will and I most definitely jumped at the opportunity to come over and join you. So, Miss Priss," Deanna stated while looking at Kiernan, "Where are you going to be during this upcoming mission?"

Kiernan's eyes shot up and she glanced over at her Mother remembering how Kate had instructed her that she wasn't allowed to tell anyone where she was going to be until after Kate had met with the other families. When she saw that her mother nodded her head in approval, Kiernan beamed with pride.

"Well, Mommy and I talked earlier, and for my safety, I'm going to stay with May-May and Pa-Tay down on Earth. This should be exciting because while I know I've been to Earth before, I don't remember it, so I am excited about seeing what it's all about."

They couldn't help but laugh at her sheer innocence. Deanna carefully looked at Kate and nodded her head in agreement of Kate's choice.

For the next few hours, after finishing dinner, they continued to talk and catch-up on life as best they could. Will and Deanna had been seated on the sofa and Kiernan had earlier climbed up and was sitting beside of Deanna reading a book until she fell asleep curled up against her side. Deanna smiled down at her goddaughter fast asleep against her and wrapped her arms around her. Will glanced over at Kate before asking, "Do you want me to carry her to bed?"

Kate smiled and nodded before the three of them carried Kiernan to her bedroom and carefully tucked her into bed with all three placing kisses on her cheeks. Fortunately, Kiernan was a sound sleeper and never awoke during any of the exchange. They all eventually returned to their seats where they felt more comfortable discussing the mission, albeit at a relatively hushed tone.

"Why did you decide not to tell her about Deanna?" Will asked even though he likely knew the answer.

Kate set her wine glass back down on the table and glanced quickly behind her to make sure Kiernan hadn't woken up, as Kate could see her in the bed from the way she had arranged herself in the chair.

"I had told Kiernan earlier about going to stay with my parents and she was absolutely thrilled with it. To be honest, I didn't know how she would respond. I mean they haven't physically seen or touched her since she was a baby. They do talk to her almost on a daily basis or at least several times a week, so she is very comfortable with them, but I was still somewhat surprised that she didn't try to put up a fight. I explained to her the delicacy of the situation and how the other children may end up staying behind, too. When I mentioned the mere word Borg, she nearly had a full meltdown, so I think once she realized that there was a strong chance we could encounter the Borg, she wanted absolutely no part of it. But then once I realized that Deanna was coming onboard, I had a feeling that should Kiernan realize that, then she might want to stay thinking that Deanna would babysit and take care of her."

Will nodded. "That makes sense. I had pondered that initially, too."

"Did she understand the position that you were placed in as Captain versus Mother or did you even try to discuss that with her?" Deanna questioned.

"Oh, she actually brought that up. She said she knew I had to protect the crew and while she knew that she was a part of the crew, she knew that Mommy may not always be able to be there for her individually, and she said that by me sending her to stay with her grandparents, then that was my way of protecting her."

Will shook his head and sighed. "Her intelligence level is off the chart."

Kate smiled back at Will and nodded her head. "Sometimes it is quite unnerving how smart she is. Much like her grandmother, my mother, she excels when it comes to science, mathematics and the analytical skills among many other things. She is definitely gifted on many levels, and keeping her educated can be a challenge at times because her learning abilities are so far advanced. But, she is my angel and I wouldn't trade her for the world."

Deanna smiled, "Well, for what it's worth, we wouldn't trade you or Kiernan for anything in the world."

Kate smiled and nodded in appreciation. Eventually, Will and Deanna departed Voyager and returned to the Titan for the night. As Kate cleaned up a few items scattered here and there around her quarters, she finished up, went, stood and watched her daughter from the doorway. She couldn't help but smile at how much she looked like an angel as she slept. Kate would definitely miss seeing this on a nightly basis, but deep down, she knew she was making the right decision. Kate briefly took a shower and changed into some sleep clothes. She sat back down at her desk and went over a few reports and outstanding items that she had missed since she had been away from the ship for the majority of the day. Just before going to bed herself, Kate decided she would see if she could video message with either of her parents.

After a few moments of waiting and just before Kate was about to end the transmission connection, her mother's face appeared on her screen.

"Oh, hi, Mom. Sorry, I was just about to disconnect as I was afraid I had awoken you."

Kathryn smiled back at her daughter. "You know me, always burning the midnight oil. I actually was outside on the patio reading and didn't hear the notification initially. Cassie heard it and came and nudged me."

Kate smiled back and thought about the concept of Cassie and Kiernan teaming up. She pitied her parents. "Where's Edoda?" Kate asked with curiosity.

"Well, your father had a late class tonight, and apparently he stopped to pick up a few things for Kiernan on the way home."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Mother! You two cannot spoil her."

Kathryn chuckled. "Don't worry, we're planning to make sure she spoiled so beyond rotten that she will be intolerable when you come back to get her."

Kate shook her head, "That doesn't surprise me at all, but she already is intolerable, just like her grandmother," Kate added with a daring glare and smirk aimed at the screen.

"Point taken!"

"Well, I wanted to let you know that Deanna will be joining us on this mission. She and Will just left Voyager not long ago. We had dinner and chatted. However, and please let Edoda know this, at this time, Kiernan is not aware of the fact that Deanna is joining us on this mission. So, if you all can keep that quiet just until we get well out of orbit because I don't need her thinking she is coming back to this ship because Deanna is here."

Kathryn nodded her head. "That makes sense in not telling her, and I'll be sure to talk it over with Chakotay. We'll keep that quiet until you want us to tell her. How about the plans for tomorrow?"

Kate pondered it for a few minutes at the realization that she had not even begun to pack any of her daughter's personal possessions. She chuckled and shook her head. "Well, I guess I won't be getting much sleep tonight, as I haven't even packed any of her stuff for transport. I'll need to do that soon because I know there are some things that she will have to have. I have a meeting at 0800 with the other crewmember families, then at 0845, I'll be in a senior officer's meeting. Our goal is to depart on the mission at 1500 hours. So, ideally, I would likely need to come down around 1100 to 1200, maybe we can do a quick lunch and I can help you get her settled before we set sail for the great unknown."

Kathryn nodded. "That sounds fine. I already told my assistant that my schedule for the rest of this week is likely going to be a bit shaken up until I can get Kiernan's schedule under wraps. I know the Junior Academy is making accommodations for the classroom for the children. Are any of your teachers planning to come down?"

"I don't know that yet. They will make their decisions tomorrow after the meeting. I wouldn't be surprised if one or two of them actually did want to come down. But I appreciate you and your staff working with them on getting this set up. This will take some adjustment, so I owe you big time."

Kathryn smiled back and shook her head. "You owe me nothing. This is my pleasure to help you and your crew in any way I can. I better let you go, so you can get packing. But I look forward to seeing the both of you tomorrow. Goodnight, honey."

"Goodnight, Mom," Kate replied before signing off and heading to Kiernan's quarters to begin the somewhat remorseful task of packing up her belongings to send down to Earth with her tomorrow.

A few hours later, exhausted from lugging boxes from Kiernan's room to the main living room, Kate finally retreated to her own bed hoping to obtain a couple hours of shut-eye. Just as she was about to doze off, Kiernan tapped on her arm from beside her bed.

"Mommy, can I sleep with you?" she asked so sweetly.

"Of course, sweetheart," Kate responded and motioned for her daughter to climb into the bed, which she did along with her blanket and stuffed animal. Kate cuddled her in her arms and held on to her as Kiernan fell back asleep. Kate listened to her daughter breathe and relished this quiet moment of solitude realizing that this could be the last moment like this that they would share for quite some time.


	3. Chapter 3

Morning came quickly and Kate made Kiernan a rushed breakfast before her teacher arrived to pick her up for school. Kate dressed and made her way to one of the largest conference rooms on  _Voyager._  Commander Walker met her just outside the doors.

"Good morning, Captain," he stated while opening the door for her.

"Good morning, Commander," she addressed and walked through the door. All of the crew members stood to her attention, something she still struggled with. "Good morning, everyone. Please, at ease and take a seat."

Kate made her way to the front of the room, where instead of standing she took a seat in front of the rather large group of people that had come. Sometimes she forgot, one, how many children were onboard her ship, and two, just how many crew members were their parents.

"I know a lot of you have some concerns about this upcoming mission, and rightfully so. Commander Walker has brought it to my attention that a few of you have spoken with him about your concerns pertaining to not only the upcoming mission, but also the safety of your children. That is why I decided to ask him to arrange a meeting for myself, who also is a parent, with all of you who are parents of children onboard this ship. As you well know,  _Voyager_  has been assigned a very risky mission that is going to send us teetering on the edge of not only Federation space but potentially another quadrant. Fortunately, unlike so many years ago when the initial  _Voyager_  ship was sucked in to the Delta Quadrant, things have progressed where we can travel safely now between the quadrants and maintain communications through the relays. However, that is not why we are being sent out that way. As you all are aware, we are being sent to determine if there has been a resurgence of the Borg, which I know has sparked the greatest concern for the majority of you.

"As we all know the Borg likes to prey on any race or species they feel can be an asset to them. Children, in particular, are often some of their greatest assets since they can get them when their minds are fresh and pollute them into their own ways and ideals. With that being said, the safety of the children on this ship are my top concern at this present moment. I am not saying I do not concern myself with your safety, but as of this moment, they are my greatest priority. That is why I am here to give you a proposal.

"If any of you are uncomfortable sending your children on this mission or would prefer that they just not go, if you can make arrangements for them to stay behind with family, I have no rights to keep you from doing so. I cannot order you to keep your children on this ship, let alone can I order you to stay on this ship. If you yourself wants to remain behind, please come see me or Commander Walker personally and we can discuss that situation. However, if you do want to make arrangements to leave your children in the care of someone else here on Earth or somewhere else, we have a group at Starfleet who are prepared to assist us with this transition.

"I have spoken with several contacts within Starfleet, and the Junior Academy has already made preparations for a classroom to be set up to keep our children together to continue their education. Or they can proceed with family on their own to a location of your choosing. If you do not have family members in close proximity, we do have individuals who are on stand-by to either help relocate the children or remain with them until they can be picked up by the individuals you want them to remain in their care."

She took a moment to pause and let this sink in with her crew before she continued.

"Now, I know a lot of you are hesitant about making your decision, so I am now going to speak to you as Kate, not your Captain, so you have an idea of what I am planning, as that may aide you in your decision. I have been pondering this very same concern long before Commander Walker brought it to my attention as many of you are in the same predicament I am in. Yesterday, I beamed down to Earth and met with my parents to discuss the topic in general. I was wavering on the fence, but ultimately I have decided that my daughter, Kiernan, will remain behind on Earth with my parents. As a mother, I am concerned for her safety and want to do all that I can to protect her. However as the Captain of this ship, I cannot always be the mother that I need to be, as I have to protect this ship and potentially go down with the ship. I cannot let her safety alone become more important than the safety of the rest of my crew. I know she will be safe with my parents, and I'll return as soon as possible to reclaim her.

"Whether my decision helps you in your decision or not, I don't know, and if you decide to keep your children onboard this ship, I will completely understand. Commander Walker has met with their teachers and two of them will be transitioning down to the Junior Academy and will continue to lead them in their studies. One will remain behind here to continue the studies for anyone who should remain. If none of the children remain onboard  _Voyager_ , then we will make sure that she is assigned to some other duty.

"As you know, we are set to depart at 1500 on our mission, and I am fully aware that does not give you much planning and preparation time. So, I authorize you all to have the remainder of the day to take off and ponder your decision and spend as much time with your children as necessary. No matter your decision, I need all of you to let Commander Walker know of your decision so we have an idea of who is and is not staying with us. Additionally, for those of you who are leaving your children behind, I want to ensure we have contact information here on  _Voyager_ of who the children were left with should we need to reach them. So, please provide all of the necessary contact information to Commander Walker. I intend to take my daughter between 1100 and 1200, but you can do what you need, just please be sure that all have been accounted for by our 1500 departure. Any questions or comments?"

In a rare twist of events, all of the crewmembers started to applaud her. She looked at Commander Walker in confusion, and he in turn just shrugged his shoulders. One of the more senior ranking crew members finally spoke up.

"Captain, on behalf of the crew members with family onboard this ship, I feel I can speak for everyone here, we first want to thank you for being so accommodating and allowing us to even have our children travel with us for the past few years. Some captains wouldn't do that, but you have been more gracious than most. And second, I know what a personal sacrifice this is for you to leave your child behind. Knowing that you are willing to leave your daughter behind, makes it a little bit easier for us to make that decision. I am hesitant about taking my child into the possible Borg territory, but I was equally as hesitant about leaving him behind here on Earth without his daily routine. But the lengths that you've already gone to help in the preparation, means the world to me, and I'm sure everyone else. But as your crew and extended family, we will all support each other during this time. It won't be easy, but I know we will all bond together and get through whatever lies ahead knowing that the end result is being reunited with our family."

Kate nodded her head in appreciation. "Thank you, Lieutenant Shultz for you very kind words. If there are no other questions or comments, I have another meeting that I need to get to, but please feel free to let me know if you have any questions or concerns, and be sure to keep in contact with Commander Walker regarding your decisions. And, you're right, we will all get thru these days ahead. I truly believe that. Thank you all for coming so early this morning, and enjoy the rest of your day as much as possible."

With about fifteen minutes to spare before the senior officers meeting, Kate headed towards her ready room and studied over a few reports from officers that she knew would likely be discussed in the meeting. As she was standing from her desk to leave, her eye caught the picture on her desk of herself with her parents and Kiernan as a baby. Her goal before she left Kiernan on Earth today was to make sure she got an updated photo of the four of them to add alongside of that picture. She would need that to get her through some dark hours that she anticipated lay ahead.

Kate strolled into the conference room and took her seat at the head of the table. She could tell Tom Paris wanted to ask something, but she held up her hand.

"I know there are a lot of questions, but before I address that and a few other things, I want to make a brief comment. I will be leaving the ship around 1100 to go down to Earth, at that time, my daughter will be transferred to the custody of my parents. I just met with the crewmembers who have children onboard this ship, and have told any others who do not want their child on this upcoming mission that they need to do what is best for them. Since I don't feel I would be capable of separating my maternal instincts from my captain's during this mission, I have chosen to leave Kiernan behind. It will be a tough task for me, but I know my extended family, you all, my crew, will support me.

"Additionally, I have made the decision to invite Counselor Deanna Troi-Riker to join us on this mission. She approached me and actually asked to join. Yes, partially for a personal reason, with my separation from Kiernan, but she also feels that she would be an asset to our crew. As we all know she has had encounters with the Borg herself but with her empathic abilities, she could be a tremendous asset to us in potentially sensing them and anything else that might be out there. Before we continue this meeting, I am going to ask her to join us as she will become a part of our senior crew, temporarily, but do any of you have any questions pertaining to her joining us or any objections?"

The crew was silent and no one seemed to object, but Tom had a question, naturally.

"Captain, I have no objections to Counselor Troi-Riker joining our crew. I guess I'm a little surprised Captain Riker let her go. I guess my question is since she's a Commander by rank, what is her role going to be or how will that impact our chain of command?"

Kate nodded and smiled. "That's a valid question, Mr. Paris. Yes, she is a Commander in rank, but that will not interfere with our internal chain of command. She will merely be coming onboard in a way to serve as the ship's counselor, who would be available for anyone to utilize, and she will just provide additional resources and support to you. None of you should feel threatened by her coming in ranked higher than you. For the majority of the time, you likely won't even see her on the bridge until we get closer, but I do want her to be involved in our senior meetings and such. If no one else has any questions or comments, Commander Walker, will you show Counselor Troi-Riker in?"

Deanna slipped in quietly to the meeting and shook hands with each crew member seated at the table. She offered a brief statement about temporarily being reassigned to  _Voyager_ and how she hoped to be of an asset to any crewmember who many need her assistance on a personal and professional level, as well as serving as an asset on the mission in general. Kate and the crew welcomed her aboard and continued the meeting discussing the initial basics of the mission in more detail than prior meetings. Kate eventually dismissed the meeting with a reminder that everyone was due back onboard the ship prior to 1500 as they would be departing orbit at precisely that time.

As quickly as she had arrived on  _Voyager_ , Deanna had retreated back to the  _Titan_  to put together her final supplies for transporting back to her guest quarters on her new ship. Kate was heading out the door of the meeting room when she bumped into Commander Walker.

"Captain?"

"We have to stop bumping in to each other like this, Commander," she attempted to joke and make light of the situation. "How can I help you?"

He smiled and motioned for her to walk ahead of him through the doorway.

"Nothing, I just wanted to see if there was anything I could help you with in regards to helping you get Kiernan and her belongings ready for transport?"

Kate smiled at him but secretly wondered where he was going with this. As if sensing her own hesitation, he interrupted. "Kate, listen, I am not trying to cross any sort of line or get in your personal business. As your First Officer, it's my job to protect you and look out for you. I know your losing Kiernan is going to hit you hard. It might not at first, but it will eventually. I just want you to know that you can count on me. I know we're not super close, but I am your friend and I don't mean anything by it. I just want you to know if you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask."

She patted him on the arm. "Thank you. That really does mean a lot to me. I think we are fine. I need to go get her from school and spend a little time with her before I leave the ship. I do have some of her items in my quarters if you can help me get the transporter team to send those to the Vice Admiral's house that would be so wonderful. But you're being a huge help here by collecting all the documentation on the dependents and keeping everything tracked for all of that. Once I get back onboard later, let's make time to schedule some meetings and discuss some items."

"Yes, ma'am. I'll get right on having her items prepared for transport. Good luck with the transition of getting her there and back."

"Thanks, as I think I'll need it," she added and rolled her eyes before darting into the turbolift to pick up Kiernan.

After retrieving a somewhat animated Kiernan from her classroom, she and Kate returned to their quarters where Kate briefly reminded her small daughter of what was about to transpire. Kiernan looked up at her mother with big eyes and wrapped her arms around her neck.

"Mommy, I'm going to be okay. I'm going to miss you terribly, but I know you're always in my heart and will always be with me. I love you no matter how far away we are from each other."

Kate hugged her back and kissed her. "I love you, too, sweetheart, always! Now, get your blanket and bear and let's head to the transporter room. Commander Walker is going to make sure your other stuff gets down to Earth, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am," she added before dashing off to get her blanket and teddy bear from her bedroom. She quickly returned to her mother's side and held her hand as they strode down to the transporter room and beamed their way down to Earth.

Once they had materialized inside the transporter station, Kiernan had somewhat wrapped herself around Kate's leg, almost as if she were scared of what might happen. Thinking back on it, Kate realized that Kiernan had never really experienced a true transport, so it was likely a bit unnerving for her. Once Kate looked up, she saw the two people who made her feel whole – her parents. Kiernan hadn't looked up but when Kate nudged her, she opened her eyes and glanced up at her mother before questioning, "Are we alive?"

Kate couldn't help but chuckle. "Yes, honey, I forgot you had never been transported before, but we survived, and I think you might want to take a look around."

When Kiernan glanced up and saw her grandparents, even though she had no recollection of actually ever meeting them in person, she took off running and full speed shouting "May-May, Pa-Tay," in utter glee.

Not knowing which one she was going to run to first, Kate hoped and prayed they were both ready for the impact because Kiernan was much stronger than one would think. In somewhat of a shocking twist, almost as if Kiernan herself knew her speed and strength, she ran straight to Chakotay, who picked her up high off the ground and twirled her around before settling her back on his hip and planting a kiss on her cheek.

"How's my angel doing?" he asked.

"Aww, Pa-Tay, you're so big and strong!" Kiernan said while staring rather intently at his tattoo. Carefully she reached her tiny hand out and placed it on his tattoo and traced the lines. "That's so cool. Can I have one?"

Kate coughed, which caused Kiernan to turn and look at her mother, who in turn nodded her head very quickly. So quick in fact that Chakotay and Kathryn both missed it. Kiernan dropped the question and squirmed in Chakotay's arms and started climbing towards Kathryn. Kathryn, who initially struggled with Kiernan's size, took her from Chakotay's arms and buried the child against her chest in a deep hug. It was a sight that Kate couldn't help but love and was so fortunate to have been able to witness as the look of sheer peace that emanated across Kathryn's face brought peace to Kate's own soul.

"I love you, May-May," Kiernan said while her head was resting on Kathryn's shoulder. At not receiving a response from Kathryn, she pulled her head back and placed both of her tiny hands, which were still both holding her bear and blanket, on Kathryn's face and pulled her face to make sure she was looking her square in the eye. "May-May, are you okay?"

Kathryn, who wanted to cry tears of joy at just having her granddaughter in her arms and seeing Kate wrapped in her father's arm, nodded her head. "Yes, my love, I'm just so happy to finally get to hold you and see you."

Kiernan beamed a smile that mirrored Chakotay and Kate's, which caused Kathryn to gasp. "You have your grandfather and your mother's smile down to those precious dimples that I could just eat," Kathryn joked while pretending to kiss and nibble both of Kiernan's dimples, which only made her burst into a fit of childish giggles.

"Where's Cassie?" Kiernan asked in between her giggles.

"Well, since we're going to take you and your Mom to lunch, we had to leave her at home because we can't have her eating your food, right?" Chakotay quizzed.

Kiernan continued to giggle and play with Kathryn's hair. Kate couldn't help but watch them, and she immediately felt as if they shared some sort of magical bond that maybe even Kate couldn't understand. She glanced up at Chakotay who nodded and wrapped his arm around her.

"I think she's going to be just fine," he added before taking Kate by the hand and leading his girls down the streets of San Francisco to one of his and Kathryn's favorite dining locations.

The four of them shared lunch together while seated on an outdoor patio that was perched over the water of one of the many marina's still dotting the water ways in San Francisco. They spent a lot of time catching up on the various changes in their lives, and Kiernan did her best to keep everyone entertained. Commander Walker had only interrupted once to let Kate know that the transport had been completed, but otherwise, their lunch was relatively interruption free. Prior to their departure from the restaurant, Kate asked if it would be okay if they take some photographs. They all agreed that would be a wonderful idea, but Kathryn sensed something change within why her daughter asked this. After the photos were taken, she took Kate by the hand and walked with her a little further down the walkway trailing behind Chakotay and Kiernan.

Kathryn wrapped her arm around her daughter's petite waist and pulled her a little closer to her.

"I just cannot believe how big she's gotten," Kathryn commenting towards Kiernan. "She's going to be a very, very tall girl I have a feeling since she's already practically half as a tall as I am," she stated and paused as Kate didn't really utter a response. "Sweetheart, are you okay? What's on your mind? When you suggested us taking the photos, I sensed something that I'm not sure how to explain it."

Kate watched how gentle Chakotay was with Kiernan and watched as the love radiated from him at how proud he was to be a grandfather. She eventually looked down at her mother, who she realized had been watching her rather intently with those infamous Janeway eyes the entire time.

"I'm fine, Mom. Before I left my office this morning, I saw the last photograph the four of us took when Kiernan was just a baby, and I wanted to be sure to have an updated one to carry with me on this mission. But after I mentioned it, it just hit me that while it is a thing to cherish, it makes me somewhat remorseful to have to leave my child behind. I know you two will take great care of her, and I am not worried about that at all, but I guess just leaving her behind…I just don't know."

Kathryn tightened her grip on her. "I know how you feel, you know? I know that you're not giving her up, like I did you. But I think in the back of your mind, you are comparing it to that to some extent. It's not the same, but in some ways, I suppose, it is. You're just temporarily giving her up, and she's known you. You're protecting her by letting her go temporarily, but it's not easy. Believe me, there are days I struggled with whether I made the right decision when I left you, but in the long run, it turned out to be the right thing because look at how perfect you have turned out. You'll be back in no time, and you'll be able to communicate with her for a time period. It'll be an adjustment, but don't let it weigh on you, okay?"

Kate wrapped her arm around her Mom and squeezed her in turn. "Thanks. I know I can always count on you to help knock some sense in to me. Hold up," Kate froze and motioned for Kathryn to turn around. She took a picture of the two of them in that moment, and in glancing at the picture display, it instantly became Kate's favorite picture of the two of them. It was one of those spontaneous moments when they were just Kate and Kathryn, daughter and mother, and it held so much meaning to her.

They strolled together as a family for a few more minutes before they all knew they had to retreat to Kathryn and Chakotay's house as Kate's time was so limited. Initially, Kate had pondered just letting them take Kiernan from the restaurant and go, but after talking that over with Kathryn, she decided she should accompany them to the house and get her settled in before heading back to the transport station.

Once they arrived at the house, Chakotay went outside to check on Cassie, while Kathryn showed the girls Kiernan's room. When she opened the door, Kate couldn't help but gasp as the room had been immaculately designed with all of Kiernan's favorite things, colors and toys – all of which were brand new, as her possessions from the ship were in the living room awaiting to be unpacked.

"Mom," Kate practically gasped. "This is beautiful. You shouldn't have gone to this much trouble," she stated while watching Kiernan, who was completely awestruck, walk around the room.

Chakotay came up behind Kathryn and wrapped his arms around her pulling her against him. "Your mother and I wouldn't have it any other way, Kate. Only the best for our two angels, right honey?" he asked while kissing Kathryn's cheek.

"Awwwww…." Kiernan said while watching her grandparents. "Mommy, they're so cute!"

Kate rolled her eyes and laughed before even she had to admit, "You know what, Kiernan, you're right. They are pretty cute."

Kiernan stayed in her room while Kate went back downstairs to check through the boxes that had been transported down. She went over a few things with Kathryn and Chakotay pertaining to her schooling and schedule, all of which she knew would change over the course of the next few months. Once she finished, she turned to look at the both.

"Well, I guess this is it. I don't know how I can ever thank the both of you for being willing to take care of my daughter for me. This means the world to me. I know she'll be well taken care of, she'll be safe and ultimately, she will be loved. That gives me great peace and comfort on whatever may lie ahead. I sent the pictures to your work account, Mom, so you can make copies for you two and for Kiernan, if she wants some. I love you both, and thank you again," she said while giving each of them hugs and kisses. Kathryn couldn't help but hold her a little longer than typical.

When Kate turned around to face the hardest goodbye of all, she found Kiernan seated on the top stair watching what was unfolding before her. She wasn't sad or happy looking, she was just studying everything and taking it all in. Kate climbed the stairs and sat down beside her. Kiernan climbed in her lap and wrapped her arms around her neck.

"I don't want you to go, Mommy, but I know you have to. I'll be safe here, and I'll pray that you'll be safe, too. Daddy will protect you since he's our guardian angel. I love you so, so, so much, Mommy."

Tears couldn't help but well up in Kate's eyes. "You're right, honey, Daddy will watch out for me and you, too. I've gotta get back to the ship, but you know I will always love you. Please, be good for your grandparents and don't do anything that you're not supposed to do. Listen to them, and obey them, just as you do everyone on  _Voyager_."

Kate kissed her daughter on the cheek and then on the lips before she scooped her up in her arms and descended the stairs. When she reached ground level, she planted Kiernan in Chakotay's arms, as Kate hugged both of her parents once more before she turned and headed out the door.

**Location:** _**USS Voyager** _

1500 hours came quickly for everyone onboard  _Voyager,_  but everyone was in position for the departure and the beginning of their new mission. Kate strolled out of her ready room and on to the bridge, where she was greeted by her crew and Counselor Troi-Riker, who shockingly the senior crew had suggested be on the bridge for the departure.

"All personnel are present and accounted for, Captain," Walker stated.

"Thank you, Commander," Kate said while taking a seat in her command chair, the very same one that used to exist onboard the original  _Voyager_. Kate had requested that Starfleet take the original captain's chair out of the original  _Voyager_  and place that in her ship. Some may have questioned it, but that seat had a lot of history, and it was now the Captain's chair for a mother, father and daughter team.

"Lieutenant Commander Paris, you have the course laid in?"

"Yes, ma'am. Course laid in and warp speed is set. Just awaiting your authorization," he added with a quick smirk.

Kate couldn't help but shake her head at his mannerisms. "Alright, but before I do, can I address the ship?" she asked while glancing over towards Walker, who nodded in return that her comm signal had been activated.

"Ladies and gentleman, this is Captain Kate Janeway. We are about to embark on our newest mission, a mission that in some ways is a mystery. To be quite honest, the unknown lies ahead. We don't know what we may or may not encounter, but we are a strong crew and I know we will all work together to face any challenge that may come our way. I thank each of you for joining us on this journey. I know we have a few new crew members onboard, and I look forward to meeting each of you very soon. We will greatly miss all of the children as they have all been left behind in the care of relatives and other friends during our hiatus. Please bear with those of us who are parents as the next few days will be an adjustment, but we are one big family, and I firmly believe that we will move forward together. Thank you for your service and Mr. Paris, engage."

Deanna couldn't help but smile at Kate's speech. She knew now why the crew loved her so much. Yes, she was their captain, but she was just one of them. She knew she had to be their boss and take care of them, but she also let her crew know that she was just one of them who was willing to spend time with them, get to know them and enjoy their company. Kate was definitely a 'one-in-a-million' as Will often said.

Everyone watched in silence for the next few moments as the ship made its turn and the view of Earth slowly dissipated from the view screen. The future was uncertain, but Kate knew she was ready for whatever she may face and ultimately she knew her daughter was safe no matter what may happen down the road.


	4. Chapter 4

**Six months later - Location: Earth**

Kiernan Taya Janeway had adjusted splendidly to life on Earth. She continued to excel in her classroom studies and absolutely enjoyed living with her grandparents and, of course, Cassie. Her schedule had been arranged and once her schooling was done, she was sent to an after school type program where she would stay until Kathryn got off-work to pick her up, at least two days a week, when Chakotay had evening classes. During the other days, Chakotay would often pick her up from school, and they would go on adventures, bonding and getting to know each other on a deep level. Kiernan loved her evenings alone with Kathryn, as well, and Kathryn loved to teach her many things that amazed the young child.

During her stay, they had taken several trips to visit Kathryn's family in Indiana, whom Kiernan absolutely loved and adored. She in particular loved the vast farmlands and all the animals present. They also made sure to take her to visit Kate's adopted family in Cherokee, and they even visited Ireland once to see where her father and his parent's had both been laid to rest. That was a humbling experience for Kathryn to watch as her small granddaughter knelt down and talked to her Daddy. She may have only been three and a half years old, but she was wise beyond her years, and she knew exactly the sentimentality of this moment, even at such a young age.

Communication with Kate had slowed as the ship had likely moved out of communication relay range, but thankfully, Kiernan had adapted to her new life and didn't seem to be as remorseful as they all feared she would be. One evening, after tucking Kiernan in to bed, Kathryn joined Chakotay on the back patio in their double seated chaise lounge chair. He had built a small fire in the pit and they were enjoying the cool breeze of the evening and the sounds coming from the water that backed up to their home. They were content staying wrapped in each other's arms and enjoying the solitude of the moment, but that moment ended when Kiernan came out on to the patio with a terrifying look etched across her face.

Kiernan came to Kathryn's side of the chair and crawled up on top of Kathryn, who immediately noticed that the young child was shaking. Thinking she might have been sick, Kathryn immediately felt of her forehead testing for any signs of a fever, but when finding she was fine, she questioned, "Kiernan, honey, what's the matter?"

Kiernan buried her head in between Kathryn's breasts and wrapped her arms tightly reaching around Kathryn's sides as far as she could as if she were grasping on to her for dear life. She just keep shaking and her eyes were glazed over as if something had traumatized her. Cassie, who had been staying in the room with her, walked outside, but she didn't seem alerted by anything out of the ordinary yet she kept whimpering at the way Kiernan was acting. Chakotay stroked Kiernan's back and tried to coax something out of her.

Finally, Kiernan lifted her head off Kathryn's breasts but kept her arms locked around her sides while still laying on top of her. She looked Kathryn directly in the eyes, and Kathryn saw fear, which was something she had never seen before.

"Kiernan, my angel, please talk to me. Has someone hurt you? Are you okay? What's the matter? Please talk to us. We want to help you."

Kiernan shook her head and finally spoke. "I'm fine, May-May. It's not me, it's Mommy."

Kathryn couldn't help the look of confusion that came across her face, and when she glanced over at Chakotay, she saw that even his tattoo was slightly wrinkled in confusion.

He stroked the side of Kiernan's face before asking, "Your Mommy? I don't understand, sweetheart, what do you mean?"

Kiernan shrugged her shoulders in frustration. "It's Mommy. Something is wrong with Mommy. I know it; I can feel it. I was asleep and I woke up and felt her. I felt something and know that something has happened to her. She's hurt and scared."

Kathryn's mouth fell slightly ajar because there was no way this child possessed any sort of telepathic capabilities, yet it certainly seemed like she did. She smoothed her grandchild's hair and kissed her on the forehead.

"Honey, I don't understand. I know you and your Mommy are close, but how do you know this?"

"Because of this," Kiernan said while placing her hand over Kathryn's heart. "Mommy and I have a way of communicating. We can feel each other through our hearts, and I feel she's upset."

Kathryn's gut was starting to act up now, and Chakotay immediately sensed it. He tightened his arm around her and pulled her closer to him. Knowing that there was ultimately nothing they could realistically do, they had to figure some way to calm down Kiernan.

"Kiernan, I don't know how we can get a message to  _Voyager_  since they are past the relay stations, but I will send a message to them to see if I can find out anything, okay? But I know your Mommy, she is my daughter after all, and she's very strong. She's been through a lot of things before and always continues to come back stronger than ever. Whatever she may or may not be facing, I know she will fight and she will be okay. It's hard with her being so far away, but let's try to go back to sleep, okay?"

Kiernan nodded and asked innocently, "Can I lay my head back down right here and go to sleep in your arms?"

Kathryn couldn't help but smile. She stuck her lips out and Kiernan kissed her on her lips, which was something they had started doing not long after her arrival at their house.

"Of course, my love, you can always sleep with me."

Kiernan lay her head back on Kathryn's breasts and eventually fell asleep. To say Kathryn's curiosity and maybe even worry level had increased, was a small understatement. She glanced over at Chakotay, who in turn kissed her, and nodded his head. She leaned her head against his shoulder, and he tightened his grip on his two girls.

"This worries me, Chakotay. She's never done this before," she whispered after glancing down to ensure Kiernan had lulled herself back to sleep.

"I know, Kathryn. It's not like her at all."

Kathryn turned to face him a little more. "Are Native Americans that in tune with their sensing abilities? I mean there's no way she's telepathic."

He lightly chuckled. "We have our spirit animals and all sorts of things, Kathryn, as you well know. I guess we could be more slightly connected on personal levels. Maybe Kate and Kiernan have some sort of unique bond that we aren't aware of."

"Maybe so," she stated before motioning for him to help her. "I'm going to carry her back to bed, and then I think I need to try to go to bed, too."

"Good idea. I think we all need some sleep," he stated while helping her carry their grandchild back up to bed with Cassie hot on their heels.

Once back in their bedroom, Kathryn quickly retreated to the bathroom before eventually joining Chakotay in bed. She curled on her side and lay her head on his chest as he instinctively wrapped his arms around her. They shared a kiss, but neither could quite shake the thoughts that were running wildly through their minds.

Kathryn had drifted off into a light sleep, as Chakotay listened to her breathe, but as he was about to doze off, he was alerted to an incoming transmission. He knew moving would ultimately wake Kathryn up, and more than likely since it was coming through her console, it was likely for her. He carefully nudged her awake.

"What is it?" she groggily asked.

"Your console is receiving a message," he said watching as her eyes shot wide open. She motioned for him to go answer it, as she wasn't ready to be seen on the screen.

Since they were married, he was able to access her messages, even though he couldn't always respond to them. He always still felt the need to ask her permission, though, even if it did drive her insane. He went and hovered over her desk and hit the monitor to find Deanna Troi-Riker staring back at him. When he saw Deanna, his stomach immediately dropped, and he could have sworn he heard Kathryn nearly sound as if she were about to vomit as fear likely had just shot through them both after what had just occurred with Kiernan an hour or so earlier.

Deanna sensed both of their reactions, and it was a strong sensation that ripped through her own body.

"Chakotay, are you okay?" she questioned with hesitation.

He shook his head before responding, "I'm not sure, Deanna. We've just had an interesting evening with Kiernan, and the timing of your message is just a bit eerie with something that just happened here."

The expression on her face immediately changed, and Kathryn had seen it while making her way over to the work station.

"Deanna, we haven't heard from  _Voyager_  in a few days, so we assumed you all were outside of the communications range. Has something transpired?"

Deanna blinked a few times, and they could tell there was some slight interference with the communication system.

"We are still somewhat out of the relay range, so I wasn't sure if the message would come through, but I wanted to try nonetheless. Has something happened to Kiernan?"

Chakotay shook his head. "No, she just had some sort of strange notion tonight that something had happened to Kate."

Kathryn couldn't help but notice the blaring red in the background behind Deanna, and she immediately knew something had happened. "Commander," Kathryn stated drawing on her Admiral hat and donning her Starfleet role so quickly that it surprised Chakotay and even Deanna herself. "I see the red behind you, which I take it to indicate that you are under a red alert. Something must have happened if you are contacting me."

There was a slight nod in Deanna's head before she responded with news that would ultimately send shockwaves through Kathryn and Chakotay's house.

"Our mission thus far has been very successful. We've had no encounters with the Borg nor seen any evidence to support their resurgence. A couple hours ago, out of nowhere a vessel appeared in front of us. It never even showed up on any of our sensors. It looked like something the Borg would have constructed, but I immediately sensed that it was not the Borg. After stalking us for a while, we were finally hailed. The individual identified himself as a former Devore Inspector by the name of Kashyk, and within a matter of minutes, unaware to any of us, Captain Janeway disappeared from our bridge and was all but kidnapped before our very eyes."

At the mere mention of the name of Kashyk, the glass that Chakotay had been holding in his hand shattered, which Deanna saw and heard through the view screen. Kathryn's mouth fell wide open in complete shock at both Chakotay's reaction and the news that Kashyk had somehow returned and kidnapped her daughter.

"That's not possible. Kashyk and the Devore are in the Delta Quadrant, there's no way that they crossed into the…" she was rambling and Deanna cut her off.

"They did, ma'am. All former  _Voyager_  crewmembers verified with accuracy that it was Kashyk who was on the view screen."

"What does he want? Has he made any further demands?" Kathryn was adamant.

Deanna wasn't sure how to properly address this, so she just stated it bluntly. "He wanted you, Admiral," she stated and let it hang for a few moments before she continued. "Apparently, he thought that you were still captaining  _Voyager_ , and when Kate identified herself as Captain Janeway, he didn't even wait for a visual before he somehow locked on to her and took her. We can't figure how he managed to do it. She knows who he is, Kathryn, more than you think she knows, and I am not sure who I am more worried about – her or Kashyk."

Kathryn's was in complete disbelief, and she glared at Chakotay thinking that he must have spilled everything about Kashyk as she had never told Kate about her full encounter with him. Sensing a fight was about to escalate between the two, Deanna cut back in.

"She didn't find out from Chakotay," Deanna interrupted. "She read your logs, Kathryn, professional AND personal. She knows it all," Deanna added.

"How the hell did she do that!?" Kathryn, with her tone slightly raising, asked steadfastly but carefully avoided dropping a much stronger four letter word that she would have preferred to have done.

Deanna couldn't help but smirk, and even she noticed the smirk that crept over Chakotay's face.

"I'm not at liberty to divulge that information, as it…"

"Don't you give me that patient/counselor confidentiality bullshit, Commander!" Kathryn practically spat into the screen. "How in the living hell did she gain access to my personal and confidential logs?"

"That right now is not the concern, Admiral," Deanna said diverting the topic because she knew the answer to that question. "The concern now is Kate's safety and well-being. Kashyk is not the same person that you knew, and our entire crew currently is fearful for her life. I wanted to give you a heads-up to protect Kiernan from hearing anything should it come across the wire. The crew is working on a rescue mission as we speak as we have been receiving some type of communication from within the ship that is indicative of her finding a secret way to communicate with us. I will keep the two of you updated as I can, but please protect Kiernan from hearing this. Kate will be fine, but you had to know."

Before Chakotay could stop her, Kathryn stormed out of the room, and he knew where she was headed. Chakotay stared back at Deanna on the screen.

"Chakotay, I didn't mention this, but I'm actually worried about Kate. I don't have good feelings about Kashyk, and I know you must detest the man based on your reaction earlier. Kate didn't share with me all that she read in Kathryn's logs, but during the times we discussed things, I know that the mention of his name fueled something within her. Almost like a rage and fire."

Chakotay nodded, "We briefly discussed Kashyk. I wondered how she knew about him because I couldn't believe Kathryn would have told her. Kashyk is a dangerous man who loves to play on people's minds. He charmed Kathryn, and I think part of her fell for him. She even may have started to develop feelings for him. But then he used her and played her. In the end, she did the same to him, but it gnawed at her for months how he had treated her and how she had fallen for him. She didn't discuss much of that situation with me because I think part of her might have been embarrassed and even hurt by him. But, if she wrote about her personal feelings in her logs and Kate read those, I can see why she would be fueled with rage because if I could rip the man's heart out, I would."

Deanna blinked a few more times and nodded. "That's what worries me, Chakotay. The times she talked about him to me, there was hatred in her tone, and that doesn't usually exist with Kate as she doesn't hate anyone. But something about this man set her off. Now that he has her, I don't know what to expect, but I don't have a good feeling for either of their sakes."

"Me either, Deanna. But, thank you for letting us know. Please keep us posted, as I know this is going to tear Kathryn up that she can't be there."

Deanna faintly smiled. "I need to go, but take care of both of them. Troi out."

When the transmission ended, Chakotay leaned back in the chair and let out a huge breath. He grabbed a towel and cleaned up the broken glass and dabbed the blood from his hand. He eventually found the dermal regenerator and healed his hand before he strolled down to the kitchen. While peering out the back window, he saw Kathryn pacing between the two large trees that were in their back yard close to the water's edge. This was where she went to think, and when she was pacing, she was in deep thought. Chakotay knew her full wrath was about to explode. Instead of replicating a cup, he put on a pot of coffee for Kathryn. While it was readying, he quickly climbed the stairs to peek in on Kiernan. She was sleeping soundly, and he tucked the covers closer around her and kissed her on the cheek. He patted Cassie on the head before closing the door and heading back downstairs.

By the time he had walked out to the trees close by their dock on the bay, Kathryn had taken a seat in one of the chairs. He handed the steaming hot coffee mug to her and sat in the chair beside of her not uttering a word, just waiting for her explosion. He knew, if anything, this would cause her inner volcano to erupt. Kathryn was always relatively calm and cool during their trek on  _Voyager_ , but there had been times when the two of them had had some heated arguments. Kathryn always had a temper, but she tried to suppress it, but on occasion, she let it out. He knew this was one time that she needed to get it all out of her system so she could retreat to her typical persona and not terrify their grandchild.

The silence was utterly deafening to Chakotay, and he could literally feel the heat steaming from Kathryn's body. In the back of his mind, he didn't know if Kathryn was angrier over the fact that Kashyk had kidnapped her daughter or whether her daughter had accessed and read her personal logs. Nonetheless, he had a feeling he was about to find out.

Kathryn's body was rigid and she was furious. She couldn't fathom that the one person who she had prematurely let her guard down with, had suddenly resurfaced and was out to get her again but mistakenly got her daughter instead. She had no control over this situation, and it was eating her alive. She had to do something, yet she ultimately knew she couldn't do anything. She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry. She had never experienced so many emotions at once, and she realized this was coming from sheer fear over what could possibly happen to her daughter at the hands of this man.

She popped up from her chair and began pacing again. "Kashyk, Chakotay!" she said a bit loudly and saw him raise his eyebrow and nod back towards the house as a reminder of who was still sleeping in their house.

"How the hell did he get into the Alpha Quadrant? How did he get my daughter? My God, Chakotay, he wanted ME and got Kate instead. I just, I can't … I want to kill him!"

Chakotay watched in somewhat astonishment. He wasn't quite expecting her to admit to wanting to kill Kashyk, but more than likely he knew that was the mother coming out in her.

"Kathryn," he said but she kept on.

"I feel so helpless. I want to help her. I want to trade places with her, but I can't do anything. If he harms her, Chakotay, I will never be able to live with myself. Of all the damn people in this universe that she had to run in to..." she trailed off as her pacing only intensified.

Chakotay wanted to stand up and calm her, but he knew to try would be futile because it would only anger her more. "Kathryn," he said with a calming and soothing tone, a tone that usually worked on her but for some reason this time, it backfired as her rage hit a level he had never seen.

"How the fuck can you sit there so damn calm, Chakotay? Our daughter's life is at risk and you just sit there staring at me? I mean you hate the man, Chakotay, you HATED him back then. There's no denying that. I saw how jealous you were all those years ago. You hated the way I was flirting with him. You hated every single thing about him, and the idea of me and him together sent you over the edge. He used me, Chakotay. I was stupid. I fell hard for a man who pulled me into his web and tricked me. In the end, I thought that I had gotten the last laugh, but now he shows back up somehow thousands of light years away and kidnaps my child and you just sit there!"

Kathryn's reaction and tone was not what Chakotay anticipated and it made him very upset. In a matter of seconds, before Kathryn could even realize it, he had shot straight up from the chair. He grabbed her by her biceps and shook her hard for a second before backing her into the trunk of the nearest large oak tree. He was fuming at her accusations. Needless to say, Kathryn had awoken the angry warrior that had been suppressed deep within him for so many years.

"Don't you dare try to make it seem as if I don't care that Kashyk has  _MY_  daughter. Yes, Kathryn, I hated the man. I always hated the man. He used you. He manipulated you. He hurt you. I wanted to protect you and take care of you, but you turned to HIM. Yes, you thought you had the last laugh, but now he's returned. There's NOTHING we can do, Kathryn. Our hands are tied. You do NOT have control of this situation, which I know is driving you insane. I'm not sitting back because I'm not worried about her. That's far from the truth, and you damn well know it.

"We can do something though. We can protect Kiernan. Did you forget about her, Kathryn? Kiernan? Our granddaughter, Kate's daughter. Maybe this is why Kate didn't let Kiernan go on this trip. She had NO idea this would happen, but my God, Kathryn, what if he had gotten Kiernan instead? Think about that. Think about her. It is our duty to protect her, and that I will do. That's what Kate wanted us to do. With that being said, I know you're mad, and you're going to regret all of this later, and I will, too, likely. We have to calm down. We have to keep the faith and hope. Kate is tough, and in my opinion, it is Kashyk who better be saying his last prayers."

The last statement that he had said made Kathryn's eyebrows furrow as she wondered if he knew something that she'd didn't.

"What exactly does that mean, Chakotay? Did Deanna say something else to you after I left that I need to be aware of?"

Still holding her firmly in his grasp, which he realized was probably a little too strong of a grip, he shook his head. "Not really. She just said that Kate never had hated anyone in her life, but anytime they had talked about him, Deanna saw a fueling rage deep within her."

Kathryn's eyes narrowed and Chakotay braced himself for another verbal assault. "If you hadn't told her about him," and Chakotay stopped her dead in her tracks.

"I haven't said a damn word about him, Kathryn. Kate is the one who brought him up to me. She read all of  _Voyager's_ professional logs to better understand everything we endured. And now, obviously, she must have read some of your personal logs. Because apparently she knows so much about him and you or whatever, that it's caused her to become a raging fire, at least according to Deanna. She knows I didn't care for the man, but I never told her what all I saw from my perspective."

Kathryn tried to shake him off, but he held firm. He saw the tears forming in her eyes, yet he knew that right now they were tears of anger.

"How in the bloody hell did she access my personal logs, Chakotay? You didn't even have access to that. That's a Starfleet violation, and hell, a violation of my privacy." Chakotay raised his eyebrows and smirked at Kathryn, which made her all the more furious. "What are you looking at me like that for?"

Chakotay couldn't help but chuckle. "Are you going to actually write your daughter up for that? Because let me warn you, Kathryn, if you dare to write Kate up for reading your personal logs, logs that you don't know how she accessed. Have you ever thought about how maybe you left your access unlocked and she just happened to read it mistakenly thinking it was your Captain's logs? But I'm warning you, Kathryn, if you try to take any action to reprimand her, you'll have to deal with me before I allow you to even consider that."

Kathryn's mouth fell open because she had never been threatened by Chakotay, at least not quite that bluntly. She didn't even know how to respond. As she stared into his eyes, she crumbled. She started shaking and the tears starting falling as if the flood gates had been released on a great dam. She collapsed against his chest and clung to him as if she were about to lose him. He heard her mumble something against his chest, but not being able to clearly understand what she said, he pulled her back and tilted her chin to look up at him.

"What did you say?"

Through a mixture of tears and gasps, she was breathless and heartbreakingly said, "I can't feel her, Chakotay."

Shaking his head in disbelief, as that sounded so much as to what Kiernan was saying earlier, he shook Kathryn lightly.

"What, Kathryn? I don't understand."

Instinctively, she reached for her neck where her star necklace used to always reside. "Her necklace, my necklace. The one you gave me…" the look on her face was almost helpless because she couldn't get him to understand her. "When I gave Kate that necklace, I told her, like you always told me, to touch it and that I was only a touch away from her. I don't know Chakotay, but ever since I put it around her neck, I felt I could always feel her. Even when she and I were at odds with each other for those two years, I could still feel her and knew she was thinking about me. But I can't feel her now. It's like something was just ripped away from me. I can't explain it."

He smiled at her and watched as her eyebrows wrinkled in frustration. "And yet you were questioning Kiernan's feeling her mother earlier and thinking it was a Native American trick?" She couldn't help but half smile at him in return. He wrapped her arms tighter around her and placed a kiss on her forehead. "I think it is called the bond of mother's with their children. But just because you can't feel her, it doesn't mean something bad has happened. I know what's already happened is bad enough, but we have to be strong, Kathryn. You have to be strong not only for Kate but for Kiernan. If that small one senses anything wrong with us, we are both in trouble because the wrath of Kahn couldn't compare to her."

She pulled back from him a little as their hands both rested around each other's waists. She stared up at him before carefully tracing his tattoo with her fingers.

"I'm sorry. I was very, very mean to you a few moments ago."

He leaned down and kissed her on the lips immediately quieting her. "Don't apologize, Kathryn. I was jealous, and you ultimately had to get that out of your system."

She nodded toward the house and headed back in while he gathered the coffee mugs that were now littered across the lawn. Once he arrived back in the house, he didn't spot her anywhere downstairs. He carefully crept up the stairs and found her lying in bed with Kiernan. Kathryn had Kiernan curled protectively against her chest. It melted and ached Chakotay's heart, as he knew deep down Kathryn was terrified that she may lose her daughter to one man that had caused more turmoil to her own self than she ever dared to admit. Quietly, he lay down behind Kathryn, who was already on her side, and he curled her into his arms and placed a kiss on her cheekbone.

"I love you, Kathryn. I always have and I always will, and together, we will get through this."

She smiled and he felt it as he had rested his face against hers. She turned her head against his to kiss him once more on the lips.

"I don't know how I could have lived without you, Chakotay. I love you more than I can ever say," she said and held his gaze for a few moments before resting her head against him and falling to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Location – Former Devore Inspector Kashyk's Ship**

Kate sat in the chair that Kashyk had roughly forced her into and stared at him with sheer hatred emanating from within her eyes. She didn't know if she had been on the ship for minutes, hours or days, as time seemed to be of little use under the circumstances. Nonetheless, the longer she was around this arrogant man, the angrier she became.

"Why did you want her?" she demanded of him.

Kashyk turned and sneered at Kate. He stepped closer to her and looked at her carefully. He reached out and pushed a stray hair out of her face.

"You look exactly like her, you know? You're probably younger than she was when I first saw her. But she fell for me, and even offered me a position on  _Voyager_."

"Because you used and abused her," she spat back. "Speaking of which, why did you use her and play her? Oh, wait, let me guess to boost your ego?"

Kashyk laughed. "You're a lot like her in more ways than one, I see. But there's something else about you," he paused for a moment to stare intently at her. He hadn't hurt her during any of their time together, but he didn't give off good vibes by any means. After a few moments, he continued, "There's a cockiness, an arrogance, maybe jealousy or something that I see in you that I've also seen somewhere else before. But, not from Kathryn."

Kate rolled her eyes. She was not strapped down to the chair, which she found interesting. Maybe, she thought to herself that he didn't think she was a physical threat to him, but he didn't know her. For the moment, she continued to assess her situation, as well as the area around her plotting and planning her next move. She had been able to access some of his systems and had been able to send some encrypted codes to  _Voyager_ , but she wasn't certain whether they had been able to pick up on what she was trying to relay to them. Let alone, that had been hours or a good while back, so she began to ponder if they ever had even received them, as she was sure Sage or Deanna or someone would have attempted to initiate contact again.

"You can only wish you had known my mother. But, thank God, she wised up to the game you were playing. No matter how much it might have hurt her, I'm glad she came to her senses and sent you packing. My mother isn't as dumb as you may think she is."

He leaned down and stared deep in to her eyes. "No, Kathryn isn't dumb. I never assumed that. That's one reason I like her. She's cunning. She's smart. She's sexy as hell. She can play the game as good as anyone. And, she did beat me at my own game, I guess you could say. I had only hoped to come back and join her or try to persuade her to join my team so that we could conquer the universe together as a team. But, instead I encountered you, who could be an equal partner on my endeavor. You, my pet, there's something about you that is familiar."

Kate stared hard at him and smirked, "Well, I can assure you that we've never met, and if I have anything to do with it, I'll be sure that you never see my mother again."

He laughed and backed away. "Be careful with your threats, little Kathryn. It may be something you learn to regret," he stated as he walked closer to her and inspected her necklace. He stepped behind her and took her necklace from her, which caused her to leap out of the chair.

"Give that back to me, NOW!" she demanded while attempting to reach across and grab it from his hand.

"Well, that got your attention, didn't it? Who gave you this beloved necklace because it is one of the most beautiful specimens of jewelry that I have ever seen. And, obviously, based on your reaction, it has some sort of significant meaning to you."

She tried again to reach for it, but he backed away from her and placed it in his front pocket on his jacket over his heart. She wasn't about to tell him where it came from, as she only felt it would add fuel to his fire and his sick fascination with her mother.

"I think I'll keep it right here for safe keeping."

"It wasn't hurting you where it was. I want my necklace back because it certainly won't do you any good."

He stalked around her, almost as if he were measuring her up in size comparison to himself.

"This must hold some significance to you if you're that possessive over it. Why don't we listen to some music, as that always seemed to help calm Kathryn down," he stated while turning on some classical music.

Kate rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Kathryn may have enjoyed that kind of music, but that is not my taste. That music is just dreadful. Classical is for old people, maybe like yourself, but most definitely not for me," she rattled on for a bit longer about music in an attempt to keep him distracted.

He laughed. "Bold. I like you, little Kathryn."

"That's NOT my name. I prefer to be called Kate, not Kathryn," she retorted to which he only chuckled before seating himself back in one of his chairs.

Kate paced around the room that they were in carefully trying to avoid him, but equally searching for anything that may be useful to her situation. She found something that looked like a camera and inspected it. She glanced back at him and when she realized that he wasn't watching, she flipped the switch. Whether it worked and whether it would record anything, she had no idea, but she was going to try in the event she needed this as proof down the road.

"Want something to eat, Kate?" he questioned while adding emphasis to her name.

"Doubt you have anything on this piece of junk that would be appetizing."

He laughed. "You're spunkier than your mother," he added while standing and walking towards something that looked like an old Earth refrigerator. He reached in and pulled out a tray of assorted fruits, along with some chilled beverages. He spun on his heels and placed them on a counter top behind him and motioned for her to join him.

She walked back over towards him and stared intently at him. He was about her height, maybe an inch or two taller. His facial markings were hideous, or so she thought, and she wondered what possessed her mother to be attracted to this man when she had Chakotay sitting at her side. She shook her head and sometimes wondered just what her mother's problem was all those years ago before she snatched a berry or two from the platter after he had already eaten some himself.

"Kidnapping a Starfleet Federation Captain is a pretty serious offense, and I know that my crew will go to any means necessary to rescue me. You were irresponsible enough to not get my facial recognition before you beamed me over, just naturally assuming that my mother would still be commanding the ship. That's pretty stupid, you know. What did you want with her? And now that you have me, what do you think you're going to do with me? Barter, trade, hold me for ransom?"

Kashyk smirked and closed the distance between the two of them. "Your mother was special. I initially thought about making her my wife."

At that comment, Kate couldn't control her laughter. "Your wife? I'm sorry, but you definitely wouldn't have been her type."

"All evidence to the contrary, or did you forget how she fell in love with me and kissed me on the ship and begged me to…"

"STOP IT!" Kate said with anger. "Do NOT bring that up. I do NOT want to hear about how you demoralized my mother."

Kashyk was watching her keenly by this time as he was gaging her reaction to his statement. "I'll speak to your crew soon, as I do have some demands and if they are able to meet those demands, then I'll release you. I'm sure if your First Officer cares about you like your mother's First Officer cared about her, then he'll rescue you. What was his name?" Kashyk said trying to figure out Kathryn's First Officer's name.

"Commander Walker," Kate responded the name of HER First Officer, though she knew he was ultimately referring to Kathryn's First Officer, Chakotay, her father. "My First Officer knows that I will do anything to protect my crew, which includes sacrificing myself for their safety and potentially not meeting any of your demands."

"Ah, so he's not like Cha, I can't think of his name," Kashyk paused and started at her.

"Chakotay," she replied with a hardened look on her face. And it was in that moment, that Kashyk realized it was Chakotay whom Kate reminded him of earlier.

"Ah, yes, Chakotay! That was him. And you're just as protective over your mother as he was over her, which always intrigued me."

Kate raised her eyebrow in response. "Imagine that. In Starfleet, one of the duties of the First Officer is to protect his or her Captain, whichever the case may be. So, just like Commander Walker knows his duties, I am sure Commander Chakotay was well versed in that, as well."

Kashyk roughly grabbed Kate by her long locks and pulled her over to the view screen where he immediately hailed  _Voyager_. Within seconds Commander Walker's face appeared on the screen, as well as some of the other members of the bridge crew. He continued to hold Kate relatively forcefully against himself as he addressed her crew.

"Well, hello there  _Voyager_  crewmembers. Kashyk here, and as you can tell, I have your Captain Janeway with me. It was a little bit of a surprise at the realization that she is not the same Captain Janeway that I was expecting, but nonetheless, she will serve her purpose until you meet my demands."

Sage Walker stepped closer into the screen and stared hard into Kashyk's eyes, and in that moment, Kate realized that Sage did indeed remind her of Chakotay. He was fiercely loyal to her, as they had gotten to know each other better during the past six months. Kate could also see Deanna on the bridge, as well as Tom Paris, Harry Kim, Galina Amaez and a few others. She tried to relay some emotional messages to Deanna, as Kashyk had no clue that she was an empath, something the Devore absolutely detested from what Kate recalled.

"What exactly do you want, Kashyk?" Walker demanded.

"Ah, Commander Walker, please don't seem so excited to see me. I have a list of demands, and if you meet them, then I'll return your captain to you."

"Whatever it is, Commander, don't listen to him," Kate stated while Kashyk tightened his grip on her trying to inflict some pain, but it didn't seem to be working as he had hoped.

"What are your demands?" Walker questioned.

"Well, I would ask you to find the original Captain Janeway and release her to me, but I suspect that she is not onboard you ship?"

Kate's mouth fell wide open as she had not suspected her mother to be one of his demands. She squirmed under his arms.

"No, she's not onboard  _Voyager_  and is not even within communication range. So, I can answer that demand clearly,  _hell no_ ," Kate replied before Sage could even open his mouth.

"Well, that certainly is a shame because I hate that Kathryn can't see my face again, especially since I've got her daughter hostage. I would love to see her angry, as it,"

"Shut the fuck up, Kashyk," Kate interjected and couldn't help but notice the smirk that spread across Walker's face.

"Ahh, language, Captain, language, my dear. That wasn't very lady like of you, and definitely not like your mother."

She rolled her eyes while Walker continued, "Obviously, there is no way for us to relay a message to Admiral Janeway, let alone try to retrieve her. So, what do you want so we can have our Captain back?"

Kashyk rubbed his chin as if he were in deep thought before he released his list of demands, which included an array of miniscule items from food to weapons to a shuttlecraft and safe passage and asylum in Federation space. At that moment, Kate realized he had no realistic demands. His sole premise apparently was finding Kathryn Janeway, and he had gotten a Kathryn Janeway but not the right one. In that moment, she realized her chances of escape and being released had lessened. She glanced back at the screen as Kashyk and Walker were winding down their discussion. She glanced at Deanna and let her sense what she was feeling. She also conveyed to her to somehow access the video recorder onboard the vessel. Whether Deanna got that sensation, Kate didn't know because Kashyk ended the communication and practically slung Kate across the room in agitation.

"You came back solely looking for her, didn't you?" Kashyk ignored her and Kate approached him and grabbed his shoulder. "What the hell did you plan to do with my mother?"

Kashyk spun around and slapped her hard across the face which knocked her slightly off balance, but she kept her stance. She was angry, and she was ready to fight. Kashyk saw the stance that she had donned and realized something.

"I think I know why you're so protective over her. Your father would be Chakotay, wouldn't it?"

Kate was ready. She was now the Angry Warrior, and she was ready to protect her mother, father, ship and everyone and anyone else that crossed her path. "Why does it matter to you?"

He laughed. "Well, I guess it doesn't because since I couldn't have fun with your mother, then I'll just have my fun with the next best thing – you," he stated while taking a step closer to her with a very hungry look in his eyes.

"Over my damn, dead body," she replied and he laughed while grabbing her and throwing her back in the chair she had previously been seated in.

Within seconds, he had whipped out a large knife from somewhere and slit her uniform jacket. She struggled against him and ending up nicking herself with the knife.

"Why are you squirming? Kathryn would have enjoyed this."

"You are a sick son of a bitch because my mother would NOT have enjoyed this."

He continued to cut and rip at her clothes getting more and more frustrated because of the many layers that the Starfleet uniforms provided, to which she was secretly grateful. He was groping and doing all sorts of inappropriate things to her. She couldn't fight back, but she was determined that she was not about to be raped by this man.

He laughed at her and said, "I bet your mother would have enjoyed it if it was Chakotay doing it to her."

The rage that ripped through Kate's body was something she had never felt before in her entire life. He may have had his body weight on top of her and a knife pointing God knows where, but she felt as if she could lift the entire ship as she bolted upright from the chair with such a force that he went flying through the air. He grabbed hold of her and pulled her with him.

When they collided on the ground, she was on top of him and he started laughing.

"See how much fun this could be?"

Kate was seething that Kashyk would belittle and degrade both of her parents in the manner in which he did. She already hated the man, but the feelings she felt now went beyond anything she had ever felt before. He still clutched the knife and was trying to grab hold of her as she was seeking to get away and find a weapon of her own. As she neared the console, where the camera was, he grabbed her from behind and wielded the knife. The next few seconds and moments flew by in such a blur that Kate likely couldn't recall precisely what had transpired.

She vaguely recalled a sharp pain in her neck which caused her to spin on her heels, where she planted a drop-kick directly to his private areas which doubled him over in pain. The knife dropped free from his hand as both of them scurried to retrieve it. When they reached for it, it was in both of their hands and Kate performed a sidekick that cause him to fall onto the knife. He wailed in pain as the knife pierced his stomach and stayed there as he fell backwards to the ground.

She stood over him for a moment as he lay there motionless.

"Chakotay would NEVER do anything to hurt my mother. And don't you dare ever say anything about my father like that again," she added before quickly turning heading back towards the monitor.

Walker appeared on the screen and a look of horror crossed his face as Kate hadn't realized that she herself had been attacked and blood was pouring down her neck.

"Captain!" he said but she waved him off.

"Kashyk is injured. I'm lowering the shields on this vessel. I need you to get me off this ship and then I have set a device to detonate this ship.  _Voyager_  will need to get a safe distance away and then lets load it with torpedoes, and" she was stopped as she heard Walker scream her name as she was forcefully grabbed from behind.

Kashyk had pulled the knife from his stomach and was about to lower it directly into Kate. Fortunately, she dodged him and was able to kick him with several blows. Yet, he was able to stab her in the side of the neck with the knife, and she let out a shriek before she kicked him right in the gut where he was pouring blood. He fell over in pain. What came over Kate next, she wouldn't be able to explain later, but she picked up the knife, which had fallen from his hand after he had stabbed her. She stood directly over him staring down at him as if he were a wounded animal that she was about to spear with a sword. In a swift move, almost as if she were throwing an arrow or javelin, she launched the knife directly into Kashyk's heart and could have sworn she heard it pop.

His eyes blared and she knew within seconds he'd be dead. She leaned down and whispered something to him ensuring that the camera wouldn't pick it up on audio. She glared at him making sure that he understood what she had said. She then reached into his left hand, which had been clasped shut and retrieved her necklace, which had previously fallen from his pocket during their tumble. She turned back to the workstation and retrieved the video recorder and glanced in to the view screen.

"Walker, get Torres on the bridge, if she's not there already, and beam me directly back to the bridge, now," she added in between gasps for breath as the blood was pouring faster from her own wounds.

**Location** _**USS Voyager** _

In a matter of seconds, Kate reappeared before the crews' very eyes on the bridge of  _Voyager_. None of them could take their eyes off the blood pouring down her neck.

Commander Walker quickly approached her. "Captain, you're covered in blood. You need to get to sickbay immediately."

She shook her head. "Not until I know for certain that ship is destroyed and that no one escapes."

She barked off a few commands and watched as the torpedoes skidded across the sky and the ship split apart into a million pieces.

"No life signs, ma'am" Harry Kim reported from behind her right shoulder.

She could tell that she was beginning to fade out, likely from the blood loss. But before she headed to sickbay, she walked over to B'Elanna Torres with Sage hot on her heels.

"B'Elanna, Sage, this is a video recording of what all transpired over there. I want you to try to load it and review it with the senior crew. I ultimately killed a man and should Starfleet question it, this is proof of why I did it in what I believe to be self-defense. I'm not asking you to take sides, but I want you to see if it recorded, and then I want the senior staff to review it and report to me your findings. I'm going to sickbay, where I'll remain until I hear back from you all."

Sage realized that she was questioning her own self and pondered whether her crew would deem her capable of continuing to lead them.

"Captain, if you're questioning your ability," and he stopped as she held up her hand.

"That's ultimately the Doctor's decision, and he needs to see this, as well. I'm not sure what to think right now, as I need some time to ponder this. Continue our mission, Commander, and you're in charge until further notice."

They all watched in somewhat astonishment as she disappeared from the bridge and headed to sickbay. Deanna Troi-Riker knew she needed to follow her, but she also knew that she needed to see what was on that video, as it would greatly aid her in counseling Kate, but she also knew that she needed to somehow relay a message to Kathryn and Chakotay that Kate was safely back aboard  _Voyager_.


	6. Chapter 6

**Two Days Later – Location: Earth**

For the past two nights, Kathryn had slept with Kiernan as they had received no news at all from Kate. Kiernan's mood had surprisingly done an about-face and she seemed as if nothing had happened. This somewhat had helped to calm Kathryn, but she was still slightly on edge. Kathryn had been sitting on the back patio watching as Kiernan frolicked around in the yard with Cassie when Chakotay sat down on the chair beside her.

Kissing her cheek and wrapping his arms around her, she couldn't help but smile.

"Hi, honey, you're home early. I thought you had a late class tonight?"

He chuckled, "It is a Friday, Kathryn. My late classes are Tuesday and Thursdays, so in reality I'm home later than normal or actually no, wait, you're home earlier than usual."

She shook her head. "My mind is in so many different places, I can't function. But you're right, it is Friday. I took off early to spend some time with Kiernan before she goes to her little friend's birthday event tonight."

"Ah that's right, so that means you and I get some alone time?" he questioned while raising his eyebrows at her in quick motion with an adorable smile creeping across his face causing her to burst out in laughter.

"She won't be gone all night, Chakotay."

"I don't need all night, Kathryn," he added while allowing his hands to travel up and down her body.

"Chakotay!" she said with animation. "There is a child in our back yard."

He laughed and nibbled on her left ear. "She won't mind," he jokingly added before calming himself back down. "Plus, I don't need all night, Kathryn, I only…"

"Would you just hush? Here comes Kiernan. Behave yourself!"

Kiernan bounded the stairs along with Cassie and jumped on top of Kathryn and Chakotay, who slightly cringed because of where he had been slightly getting aroused. Kathryn glared at him and give him a death-defying smirk.

"May-May, I still get to go to the birthday party tonight, right?"

Kathryn nodded her head. "Of course! We need to get you ready and let's not forget your present that we got for your friend."

"Yes, ma'am. Will you help me get ready?"

Shocked by the request, as Kathryn knew that Kiernan always preferred to dress herself, she followed the child inside and upstairs to her room where for the next little bit, Kathryn helped her grandchild get ready for a small birthday party with some of her classmates. Eventually, they made their away back downstairs where Kiernan's friends' family had arrived to pick her up to join the rest of the group for the next few hours. They reiterated their plans and where they would be to both Kathryn and Chakotay before they quickly left.

Kathryn was standing there peering out the front door as they disappeared down the street, and she failed to realize Chakotay was standing there watching her. He slipped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back against him.

"It's always hard when she goes somewhere. I know we've let her go on playdates and such with her friends and their families before, but this time, I don't know with everything going on with Kate, it just makes me nervous."

He squeezed her a little tighter and bent down and placed tender kisses up and down her exposed neck. She leaned her head back and slightly moaned before saying, "Ahhhh, that feels so, so good."

He couldn't help but smile against her neck. "Then let me help you ease your nervousness and worries for a few hours," he said before taking her hand and leading her to their bedroom.

As they walked into their bedroom, Kathryn froze. She didn't know what came over her, but she suddenly felt peace and contentment yet she also felt slightly nervous. Chakotay had walked over to their windows and opened a few of them to let the breeze coming off the water drift in. He had previously lit some candles and the room smelt of fresh lilacs and roses. Kathryn was in heaven and was amazed as to how he had done so much preparation to make this evening so magical for her. He came back to where she stood and watched as she glanced around the semi-dark room and close her eyes as she inhaled the fragrant aromas.

"Chakotay," she seductively breathed through her mouth as he began to kiss her neck again.

"Shh, no talking. Let me take care of you and erase any thoughts in your mind, okay?"

Her eyes fluttered open and caught him staring at her. The look that she saw within his eyes made her knees weak. It was a mixture of so many emotions – hunger, lust, worry, fear but most of all love. He smiled at her with one of his little wicked smiles which caused her to smile back in return.

"Your wish is my command, Captain," she jokingly replied with a wink.

Their mouths collided as if they hadn't kissed each other in months, and the passion building in their bedroom could have lifted their house off the ground had the gravity not been in force upon Earth. Chakotay gently guided Kathryn backwards until she fell on to the bed. He stood at the end of the bed and watched as she let her hair down from the loose ponytail she had previously had it in. When she started to move her hand towards her top, he pulled her hands back and shook his head.

"My job is to take care of you. It has always been my job, Kathryn, and it always will be," he added while slowly moving himself so that he was straddling her on the bed careful not to press his full weight down on her.

She smiled and threw her hands to the side almost willingly submitting herself to his complete trust and care. Ever so slowly, Chakotay leaned down and kissed her with such passion and fury that she couldn't suppress the moan that escaped her lips, a moan which excited Chakotay on many levels. He almost wanted her to stop moaning for fear that he would never be able to seduce her without himself dying. His mouth left hers and he started trailing kisses down her neckline until he got to the top button on her blouse. Each time he unbuttoned a button, he kissed the spot, and the slowness of his lovemaking was driving Kathryn absolutely mad. Before he realized it, her hands were holding his head and almost pushing him faster. He popped his head up and waved his index finger at her, almost as if he were scolding her.

"Now, now, Kathryn, practice your patience," he seductively commented.

Kathryn rolled her eyes and practically glared at him. "Chakotay, I can't wait much longer, and neither can you based on what's peeking out of the top of your pants," she added while trying to reach down to coax him, but he grabbed her by the wrists and pushed her hands back above her head and shook his head.

"I'm a Native American and I can be patient, Kathryn, and I will do whatever I can to tease and torment you until you go absolutely wild tonight."

He continued his slow progression until he had gotten her shirt fully unbuttoned and off of her body. He then followed the same path with her pants eventually leaving her clad only in her undergarments, which he couldn't help but smirk and stare at with such lust that Kathryn thought he might just eat her.

"Black lace. You were ready for tonight and I didn't even tell you."

She reached up and ran her hand through his silvering hair. "Only you get to see this special set. I bought it just for you. Do you like it?"

The smile that spread across his face provided her the answer that she needed. "More than you can ever imagine. I am memorizing the look on your face and everything right now, Kathryn, as this is sheer perfection."

She was flattered and couldn't withhold the flush within her cheeks that lit up her face. There were days she still wondered how she managed to resist this man for so many years, and then she pondered why in the world he chose her out of all the many he could have chosen. Nonetheless, she was grateful because she knew he loved her more than anything and she knew he would protect her and keep her safe, always. She traced his tattoo with her index finger, something she never tired of doing and smiled back at him.

"Honey, I think you're still way too overdressed," she added while trying to pull his shirt from her pants. Again his shook his head and pulled her hands back.

"If you're a good girl, maybe I'll perform a Chippendales' routine for you."

She raised her eyebrows and smirked, "Are they still even in business all these years later?"

"Well, we can always go to Las Vegas to find out, but I still think you'd enjoy my show better."

"Damn straight," she said with a laugh. "Because you are mine, and only mine. I don't need any other man putting on a show for me."

He hovered above her watching her with such intensity that she couldn't help but smirk. The look he was giving her brought a whole new meaning to the term 'bedroom eyes' because he had those eyes and they could do wonders to her mind, soul and ultimately her body.

"Chakotay," she moaned as he continued to study her. "Please," she almost pleaded which made him smirk in return.

He captured her lips with his own while his hands began a slow caressing trail down her body, and she fought squirming and nearly melted under his touch. He kissed down her neck again and got to the strap of her bra and pulled it down her arm with his teeth before switching to the other strap and repeating the same process. He eventually reached behind her and unfastened the bra, slowly removing it from her. He watched as her already hardened nipples seemed to harden all the more. He gently stroked his hand across her breasts and down her stomach.

"You deserved to be loved and treated like a queen, Kathryn, not an admiral," he added before cupping her breasts in both of his hands, which only elicited a deep moan from her followed by a repeating of his name with her enunciating each syllable in short gasps.

As his right hand caressed and stimulated her right breast, he seductively licked his lips before encircling her left breast with his mouth, sucking and nibbling and eliciting all sorts of moans and pleasure from Kathryn. Her hands landed on the back of his head almost as if she were holding him in place, but her head couldn't keep still as she rolled it from side-to-side. When she rolled her head to the right and opened her eyes, she gasped and exclaimed loudly, "Shit!" before letting out a small shriek.

Immediately afraid he had either hurt her or fearing something else, Chakotay's head bolted upright and saw the look of horror etched across her face and watched as she reached for something to cover herself. He glanced to his left and couldn't help but chuckle.

"Mother of God, Chakotay! Get her out of here!" Kathryn practically cried out and pointed towards the innocent head resting on the bed and big eyes staring straight at Kathryn.

Chakotay let out a laugh watching Kathryn. "Kathryn, why are you trying to cover yourself? Cassie is just a dog, and she can't repeat anything that she's seen."

"That you know of, Chakotay! Get her OUT! I cannot have sex with you while someone is watching."

"Oh really?" he joked and got off the bed and motioned for Cassie to follow him to the door in their bedroom that provided another exit to their back porch and patio area. He opened the door and motioned for her to go out.

Retreating back towards Kathryn, he couldn't help but laugh at her. "Stop laughing at me. She scared the hell out of me, Chakotay. I mean, my God, what if that had been Kiernan. I mean we would have had more sense than that, but still. I mean Chakotay! What if..."

She was hushed as his lips collided on her but this time, he wasn't slow and passionate. He was full of hunger and practically growled at her, which turned her on. She curled a leg around his still fully-clothed waist yet he could feel her dampness as it rode on his thigh. She reached her hand out, without interruption from him, and lightly touched the tip of his manhood that was protruding just slightly from his pants. He hissed in response.

"Gonna perform that dance routine for me now, Captain, or can I just rip the clothes off of you?"

He smirked and backed off the bed and turned some soft music on the radio. She leaned up on her elbows on the bed and watched as he slowly and sexily removed his clothes. He couldn't help but ogle her sitting there with her hair unruly, her breasts enlarged and her black lacy underwear. His manhood ached for her touch and to be released. Once he had devoured all of his clothes, enduring a number of catcalls and whistles from her, he straddled her again on the bed.

He resumed his assault on her breasts, and try as she might, he wouldn't let her come remotely close to touching him. No matter which way she tried to turn and squirm, he would move backwards out of her grasp, which was frustrating her to no end. He knew his seduction of her breasts was drawing her closer to her apex as her breathing had changed and quickened and she panted his name, pleading for him to join her.

Reluctantly, he let go of her breasts and allowed his mouth to lower. He could smell her arousal the closer the got to her sweet center. With his teeth, he clasped the top portion of the black lace underwear and closely drew them down her entire body. He kept his eyes locked on hers the entire time watching as she continued to roll her eyes into the back of her head until she finally collapsed her head on the pillows. He knew she was close, and he himself was even closer.

Slowly inching back up, placing sweet kisses along her legs and inner thighs, he kissed her sweet center and allowed his tongue to slip inside her sweet pleasure.

"My God, Cha-ko-tay," she breathed.

In his distraction of her calling his name, she had managed to maneuver her hand to his incredible length and hardness. She ran the tip of her fingernail along the underside to the delicate and sensitive skin between the base of his shaft and his balls. The sensation made him twitch under her touch and he grabbed her hand and pulled his face away from her center. He finally positioned himself above her and joined her in complete and utter bliss. Together they stayed still for a few moments before he began to move and collected her mouth in his own.

"Come with me, Kathryn," he whispered in her ear, which only caused her to moan louder and claw at his skin on his back. Eventually, the two rode out their waves of pleasure and enjoyed a few moments of serenity before Kathryn flipped Chakotay on his back and decided she wanted to take control of the situation.

As they were in the height of a second round of lovemaking and just as Kathryn had sat down on Chakotay and was beginning to ride him, her communication console lit up.

"You have GOT to be kidding me," she exclaimed. "It NEVER fails when I want to do something, we get interrupted"

Chakotay held her still. "Finish it, Kathryn. The message can wait"

They locked eyes and both read each other's thoughts wondering whether it was news about their daughter, and in that moment, they both knew, they had to answer the message.

Chakotay rolled off the bed, still completely in the nude, and went to the screen. Kathryn made sure to stay out of visual until she could throw on her top or a robe or whatever she could grab. Chakotay remained shirtless as he hit the button on her screen. When the screen came on, he was greeted by Deanna Troi-Riker's face, who once she saw Chakotay, she broke out into a smile.

"I hope I didn't interrupt something, Chakotay," Deanna jokingly stated.

"Oh, of course not, Deanna. We have a child with us, remember? Just doing some yard work," he lied.

She laughed and piped up, "I know you're lying, Chakotay. Remember, I'm an empath?"

Damn, he had forgot, and the look on his face made both Deanna and Kathryn laugh. Kathryn stepped closer to the screen and nodded at Deanna.

"Hi, Deanna. I am hoping you have news for us?"

Though the transmission was still a little hit-or-miss, it was still clearer than the last time. Deanna nodded her head in response.

"Yes, I do have news."

Kathryn grasped Chakotay's shoulder. "Go ahead, Counselor."

"I can let you know that Captain Janeway, well Kate, is safely back on  _Voyager_. She was injured, but she is recovering from her injuries. I haven't had a chance to fully talk with her because she has somewhat secluded herself, but there is a video of what happened. She asked all of us senior officers to review the video and report to her our findings. She's temporarily turned over command of the ship to Commander Walker."

Kathryn's brows furrowed, "I don't understand, Deanna. Why is she questioning her own ability to command  _Voyager_?"

Deanna paused for a moment and cleared her throat. Knowing the history of Kathryn' relationship with Kashyk, Deanna wasn't quite sure how to break the news.

"Kate killed Kashyk. He tried to attack her in several ways, and somehow she had rigged up a recorder that captured it all on film. She asked each of us to review the findings as she questioned whether she did the right thing. I think she was afraid that somehow Starfleet would hold this against her. I can assure you, Admiral, that all of us here onboard  _Voyager_  who have seen the video, firmly believe she acted within her proper protocols and defended her own self. I have not talked to her about this, but I would like, if you want to, the two of you to view the video. I would ask that Kiernan is not present for this as it is quite violent."

Chakotay's rage was growing as he was fearing the worse. "Deanna, I want to see it, but did he hurt Kate in any way?"

"I think it was his intention to do so, but she resisted and defended herself."

"You said she was hurt. How so?" he asked.

"She got stabbed and nicked a few times. She's recovering quite well. I told her I would try to get a message to the two of you that we had her back and she was safe, but I didn't even remotely tell her about the video."

Chakotay looked at Kathryn. He wanted to see the video, but he wasn't sure if Kathryn did.

"Play it, Deanna," Kathryn said, "I've got to see what happened to my daughter."

For the next few moments, Chakotay and Kathryn watched in utter silence and shock the replay of the events that occurred between Kashyk and Kate. When the clip ended, Kathryn asked for it to be replayed once more, as she wanted to examine things a little more closely. She felt Chakotay tense beside of her, almost as if he were ready to punch something himself, and she herself was getting more and more frustrated.

Once the playback finished for the second time, Kathryn questioned, "Deanna, what exactly did she say there at the end? I wasn't able to pick that up?"

She watched as Deanna's expression went stone cold. "That's the thing, Admiral, we don't know. None of us were able to hear it, and she refuses to address it."

Kathryn glanced at Chakotay and saw the rage fueling within his eyes. She had never seen him so upset and so angry. She knew he hated Kashyk from years ago, but now she knew if Kashyk wasn't dead, that Chakotay likely would kill him. She lay her hand on his shoulder in an attempt to draw his attention back to the present moment and help settle him down.

"Admiral, I can have a copy of this transmitted to you, if you need it," Deanna continued while sensing the strong emotions emanating from both Kathryn and Chakotay even lights years away from them.

Kathryn nodded, "That'll be fine, Deanna. I'm not going to share it with Starfleet because in my opinion, it does look like she protected and defended herself, although the last act is somewhat questionable particularly not knowing what she said. And what did she retrieve from his hand?"

"Her necklace," Deanna replied and let it hang out there while she overhead a slight gasp that escaped from Kathryn.

"Thank you, Deanna, for letting us know she is safely back onboard  _Voyager_. Keep me updated, as best you can. I'm pretty sure she's not likely going to talk to me, especially via subspace about everything, but please let her know we love her and if she needs anything, to let me know."

"Of course, ma'am. Troi out."

As the screen faded to black, Kathryn was practically frozen stiff. Chakotay slipped on a pair of pants and quietly slipped out of the room and into the back yard. He had to get away for a few minutes. While he knew that Kathryn wanted to talk about what they had just witnessed, he had to calm himself down before he could even remotely begin to talk to her about this for fear of him saying something he may later regret. He was beyond angry. The Angry Warrior was out and in full force. He hated Kashyk from the first minute he ever stepped foot on  _Voyager_  all those years ago, and while he and Kathryn had never fully discussed that, he knew she knew he hated him. And now to realize that not only had Kashyk somehow reappeared, but he had been trying to get to Kathryn yet ended up getting Kate by mistake, Chakotay was fuming.

As he paced around the back yard, with Cassie following closely behind, he couldn't get that visual out of his head of Kate plummeting the knife and piercing Kashyk's heart. He knew that was the kill shot, but he feared some might consider that to be excessive. But to him, it was justified. He was curious to know what exactly Kate had said to Kashyk when she leaned down and whispered something in his ear because they had all heard loud and clear when Kate had defended Chakotay to Kashyk before attacking him the first time. He could only imagine what she had said to him. In that moment of replaying that scene through his mind, he realized that Kate was likely having an out of body experience and was being driven by so much adrenaline that she, her own self, may not have been fully aware of what she had done.

Kathryn, still had her robe wrapped around her, but she peered out the door from their bedroom and saw Chakotay pacing in the yard. She knew he was angry, and she was too, but she knew he was taking this to an entirely different level. It was personal to him.

"There's no way in hell she killed him in cold blood," she said to herself. "He was trying to kill her. He tried to rape her and then stabbed her, so she was defending herself. But the rage in her eyes," and she froze and glanced up and outside. That same look in Kate's eyes in that video matched the exact same rage she had just seen in Chakotay's eyes. Fear shot through Kathryn, and she felt as if her blood had turned to ice.

She knew Chakotay hated the man, and after he had left  _Voyager_ , Chakotay had come to her that evening trying to get her to talk and open up about the pain that Kashyk had inflicted upon her. She refused to address that, especially with Chakotay. She didn't want him to see how vulnerable she had been with Kashyk, how much she craved the attention of a man that she almost caved to him. She knew Chakotay wanted to help her, and while she appreciated it, at that time, she couldn't talk to him about what had happened. Yet she took to writing about it in … "my logs," she gasped.

She immediately retreated back to her workstation and pulled up her archived logs. How Kate still had accessed them baffled and infuriated Kathryn, but what all she had written, to be honest, she had forgotten. But something in those logs triggered a reaction from Kate. A reaction similar to what Chakotay had displayed himself in person those years ago, but Kate had not been present, so what had sparked her. For her to react in a similar fashion as her father, she could have only gathered that from inferring what she had written since Kathryn had never truly opened up and confided with Chakotay about that encounter or anyone else. She needed to refresh herself on what all she had written about Kashyk and that entire situation because the haunting look on her daughter's face when she brutally stabbed him, was something Kathryn couldn't shake from her head, and ultimately, she knew that she would have to reveal this to Chakotay because he was likely going to question it.

Half an hour later, Kathryn stood from her workstation and saw that Chakotay, who was still shirtless, had finally taken a seat, albeit way down in the middle of the dock. Kathryn couldn't help but realize how much he was transitioning to his Native American heritage in that moment. She had to go talk to him, as they had to discuss this before Kiernan got home. Their grandchild had a great ability to sense, and if she sensed anything awry with them, then they would both be in big trouble.

Kathryn slowly walked across the back yard and joined Chakotay on the dock. She would likely regret sitting herself directly on the dock later, as it might be a chore to get up, but she wanted to be beside him. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him to her, as she could tell he was a million miles away from her.

"Chakotay," she said and glanced over at him. "Talk to me. What's going through your mind?"

"She killed him, Kathryn. She absolutely killed him. I mean part of me is relieved that he's dead because he should have been dead long ago. But he wanted to hurt you, Kathryn, and he got Kate instead. He was going to rape our child, but not only did she kill him, she defended me by her comments. I just can't shake it, Kathryn. It's my duty to protect you, her and Kiernan," and he paused and stared away.

Kathryn realized this was what it was all about. He was taking it very personally. He had always wanted to protect Kathryn, and he couldn't protect her when Kashyk was onboard because she pushed him away. Here, as a father, he wanted to protect his daughter, but he couldn't. Yet Kate had in some ways protected Kathryn and Chakotay from this man, though it had come at a price.

"Chakotay, this is not your fault. You can't always protect us. I pushed you away with the whole Kashyk situation, so if it's anyone's fault, it's mine. But, my God, whoever would have thought he would have shown up in the Alpha Quadrant, let alone be looking for me? It doesn't make sense, Chakotay."

They sat there for a few moments lost in their own thoughts, but Kathryn was rattled by his reaction. She gently shook him and said, "Chakotay, we have to talk about this before Kiernan gets home. If she senses something,"

"We're both screwed," he added with a slight smile. "What do you think, Kathryn? Was it self-defense or was it more than that?"

Kathryn furrowed her eyebrows. "Chakotay, Kashyk tried to rape her or at least he was planning to. She was fighting and trying to protect herself. He then stabbed her, they got into a fight and she turned the weapon on him. I would have thought the knife to the stomach would have levelled him, and she apparently did, too. But the death kill, so to speak, that was, well it was brutal, Chakotay. It was almost scary how she just didn't even seem like her own self in that moment. What I want to know is what did she lean down and whisper to him?"

"He had her necklace, Kathryn," Chakotay said and let it hang out there. "Is that why you said you couldn't feel her a few days ago?"

She shook her head. "Maybe so. I mean I know it seems crazy that I associate that with her, but it was like I felt something and when Deanna said she grabbed her necklace back from him, that hit me like a ton of bricks."

"I know it did, and you're right. I want to know what she said to him, too, but if she's not told Deanna, then she may not ever tell anyone. I just can't get over her in some ways defending me, Kathryn. I know that's crazy but…" and he stopped as he choked up with emotion.

Kathryn held him against her as he was beyond shook with emotion. She thought she would be the one who was more upset, but seeing Chakotay so worried and so upset, it almost shocked her. She had to be his rock, as much as she wanted to scream and cry out herself, she knew she had to remain strong for him.

"She loves you, Chakotay, and she didn't want anyone saying anything bad or negative about you. And for what it's worth, I would have done the same thing."

Chakotay took a deep breath and pulled away from Kathryn just slightly and turned to face her. He took both of her hands in his own. "Kathryn, I've never seen her that mad, and I can only assume that whatever made her that mad was something she read in your logs. She knows I didn't particularly care for the man, but would you share with me anything that she may have read?"

She smiled faintly and for the next few minutes, she recapped for him what she had written and what likely Kate had somehow accessed and seen. She offered to allow him to read the logs, which he agreed to do later that evening. But, by the end, Kathryn herself had let her walls come down and started crying on her own. Chakotay's heart broke at the realization that Kathryn had somewhat fallen not only for Kashyk's trap on her own, before she wised up and realized and set her own trap for him in return, but in some ways, she was so desperate for attention and love, that a portion of her had been smitten by the man. If Kate had read how hurt Kathryn had been by him and how Kashyk had ultimately been the one to use her, then it would have infuriated her. Chakotay couldn't help but ponder if Kate's last shot to the heart was retribution for the pain that Kashyk had inflicted upon her mother, but he didn't dare suggest that idea to Kathryn. That was speculation on his part, but if it had been him in her shoes he would have done the exact same thing.

"This is not your fault, do you understand me? What if she hadn't read your logs? Then she would have possibly had no idea who she was going up against. So by her violating and accessing your personal logs, that gave her an upper hand of sorts in being able to play a mind game with him, and ultimately know what he as potentially capable of."

"But, Chakotay, he never seemed that vindictive and evil to me. I finally woke up and realized it, but I never would have thought he was capable of assault and being so deadly."

Chakotay rubbed her back. "I know, but people change, Kathryn. It's been a long, long time that he has had to stew over this, and the way you got him back, it likely didn't sit well with a man whose ego was that large. But, he ultimately met his match."

Kathryn had a feeling Chakotay suspected what Kate might have said and or the reason she had acted that way, but she was terrified of knowing.

"Kathryn, I'm not sure what she said to him nor why she reacted in the way she did. I have my speculation, but she's going to be the only one able to answer that. But I imagine she's not saying much to Deanna because, if I know Kate, she's probably somewhat afraid that somehow you're upset at her for what she did."

Kathryn shook her head. "I'm not upset at all. But you think she did this for me, don't you?"

He stared deep into her eyes for a few moments collecting her thoughts. "Kathryn, I don't know what to think, but I can tell you this. If it had been me, I would have done it for you. He hurt you, and if he was trying to have hurt me, not only would have I defended myself, but I would have protected those I loved and cared about. I think she was protecting  _Voyager_  ultimately, but when he said his demand was for them to find you, I think in that moment Kate realized that she was not about to let him get anywhere near you. I don't know what she said to him, I have my speculations, yes, but I think she protected you but ultimately protected herself."

"Revenge?" she questioned hesitantly.

"I don't think it was for revenge, no. He was about to hurt her. She was protecting herself. But when Kashyk told Walker that he wanted you, I think Kate would have died on that ship alongside him before she would have let that happen."

Kathryn stood up and walked away from him towards the end of the dock for a moment and he followed at a distance.

"But why?" she barely whispered, "Especially after all I've done to her."

"Because she's me, Kathryn," he said and watched as she slowly spun around and faced her. "That was me that came out in her. That was the Angry Warrior, Kathryn. I've seen that expression and that reaction before. I acted very much like that against the Cardassians who pillaged and killed my family and friends. I saw so much brutality, that's why I joined the Maquis to defend and protect those I loved. That was me, Kathryn. She loves you, and she will protect you. You're her mother. No matter what has happened between you two, that's what is most important, and if you truly love someone, you're willing to sacrifice it all for them."

Kathryn stepped closer and buried herself against his chest. Tears flowed freely down her cheeks. "I don't know what to say or think, Chakotay. That's such a huge sacrifice."

He kissed the top of her head. "Let's just be glad Kiernan wasn't there, right?"

Kathryn's head popped up. "Oh my God, if he had gotten Kiernan. I don't know what Kate would have done."

"I think it would have more than just a bloodbath, sweetheart. It would have been more than I care to even imagine. I think the entire universe would have split in half. And, I have a feeling that when  _Voyager_  returns, she's going to need her Mom, actually she will have to have her Mom to lean on. When the two of you actually see each other, I think it's going to be much more of a reaction than you can imagine."

Kathryn smiled at him, which he needed to see. "I just want to hold her and hug her, Chakotay. I know she's scared and terrified. I'm worried what's going on inside her mind. I just want to hold her and let her know everything is okay. And ultimately, I want to tell her thank you for protecting and defending you and me."

He kissed her briefly. "It's not all about us. She was taking care of herself and her ship primarily, we were part of that equation no doubt. But I know she's going to be okay. Hey, maybe we were smart to encourage her to take Deanna after all. But, let's go back inside, as Kiernan will be home soon."

He took her hand and slowly walked back across the yard hand-in-hand. As they were strolling through their expansive back yard, Kathryn stroked the back of Chakotay's hand with her thumb.

"Do you think she's going to quit Starfleet?"

Where that question came from he had no idea, as it was clearly out of the blue, and he ultimately had no idea why she even thought of it.

"Kathryn?" he questioned.

"Well, I mean considering all that has happened. Do you think this will cause her to quit? I mean she turned over command of the ship, willingly no less."

He couldn't help but chuckle. "She's not as hard-headed as you apparently because it would have taken more than crow bars to pry the ship from your hands at times. I think she temporarily relinquished command because she needed to get her mind back to where it needed to be. She's been rattled. She's been through a severe trauma, and in some ways I can see why she likely questioned her own abilities to command. I think she likely was afraid her crew would assume she killed him in a fit of rage, but that video proves otherwise. She killed him in self-defense. It was brutal, yes, but he deserved it. I think once she rests for a while, talks to Deanna and likely her First Officer, I think she'll come around and resume her full-time duties. But do I think she'll quit Starfleet? I'm not sure. Would you be mad at her if she did?"

She stopped walking and stared up at him. She initially questioned why he would ask such a question, but she knew deep down why he would ask that. A small smile crossed her face.

"Had you asked me that a few years ago, I might would have answered it differently. I would have been upset that she would have given up her career, but Kate is bright and I know whatever she sets her mind to, she will succeed. To be honest, while I know she loves space and commanding a ship and just being on a ship, now that she has a daughter, I'm not sure I can see her making that a full-time commitment. I could easily see her transitioning to a role at Starfleet Command, Headquarters or even the Academy. But, no, Chakotay, I won't be mad at her should she decide to give up being a captain of a starship. In some ways, and this may be wrong of me, but in some ways, maybe Phoebe was right in that Starfleet isn't good for everyone. I'm not saying it's not good for Kate, but in some ways, I just want my baby home with me. Is that selfish?"

He wrapped his arm around his wife as they entered the house. "No, my darling, it isn't selfish at all. You're her mother, and you naturally want her back with you. You two have been through so much in your lives, so maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing if she takes a break for a while. But, I guess it'll all depend on how she is mentally and physically once this mission is over."

She nodded her head and glanced at the clock on the wall. "You're right. We will see how she is, when and if, she decides to try to communicate with us. But in the meantime, Kiernan is due home in a few minutes, so I guess we better go change clothes. I'm sorry this evening didn't turn out like you had planned. But it was definitely wonderful, the time alone we did have together."

He gave her a light kiss as they strolled to their bedroom. "Yes, even though it wasn't quite what I intended, we accomplished one goal and then had our burdens lifted once we realized our daughter is safely back onboard her ship."

Fifteen minutes after coming back in doors, the doorbell rang. Kathryn answered the door to find Kiernan, her little friend and her friend's mother.

"Admiral Janeway, I just wanted to say thank you for letting Kiernan come to my daughter's party. The gift was very, very thoughtful and I know that Ateema loved it. Kiernan has been such a strong influence for her and really helped bring her out of her shell."

Kathryn invited them inside, but they respectfully declined. "Well, I appreciate you inviting Kiernan. Sometimes, I think the kids from  _Voyager_  miss their environment more than we can imagine, but having their friends close by and still being able to do things with each other, has helped immensely. So, while you say Kiernan has influenced Ateema, which humbles me as her grandmother, I know Kiernan loves each of her friends and talks of them often."

Kiernan gave Ateema and her mother a final hug and thanked them for taking her to and from the party. They all bid their farewells before Kathryn and Kiernan retreated into the house. Kiernan made a beeline across the living room floor and jumped into Chakotay's lap pulling out a photo from her book bag.

"Look, Pa-Tay," she excitedly proclaimed while handing the piece of paper over to him. "I drew this picture of us."

Chakotay took the drawing in his hands and carefully examined the photo that Kiernan had drawn of himself, Kathryn, Kate, Gretchen, Phoebe and herself. The detail was incredible, and her talent for artistry was incredible.

"You drew this by yourself?" he questioned.

"Yes, sir. Ateema's Mom thought it was remarkable. Look, May-May," she paused as Kathryn stood behind them looking down at the drawing. "Do you want to put it on the replicator or somewhere we can see it?"

Kathryn's mouth fell open at the sheer skill that this child possessed. "Sweetheart, this is unbelievable. Of course, we'll hang it up."

She looked at Chakotay and raised her eyebrows in astonishment. "Honey, where did you come up with this idea?"

"It's simple. When Mommy was here last, we were all walking along the waterway and I just loved how happy she seemed. So, I drew a picture of us all at Gigi and Aunt Phoebe's house and included Mommy in the picture."

Kathryn shook her head in amazement while Chakotay cuddled Kiernan closer in his arms. Kathryn retreated and put it on the replicator but stopped when she heard Kiernan exclaim, "Wait! Oh no! I forgot to include Cassie! May-May, I need it back."

Kathryn brought the picture back and the two watched as Kiernan sat down on the floor at the coffee table and carefully and masterfully added Cassie in to the family photo. Once she finished, she proudly presented it back to her grandmother for permanent display. Kathryn was mesmerized by Kiernan's artistry skills and wanted to explore that further, but instead, they all decided to sit down and talk about Kiernan's party for a while before they all finally decided it was time to go to bed.

That weekend brought much comfort to Kathryn and Chakotay, especially at the realization that their daughter was safe and sound. Kathryn knew it would be a long road ahead of recovery for her physically, emotionally and mentally, but overall, she was glad to know she was back safe onboard  _Voyager_  and that Kashyk was no longer in her pathway. They spent the remainder of the weekend exploring various places in and around San Francisco and letting Kiernan enjoy whatever she wanted. Yes, they were indeed spoiling her, much to Kate's dismay.

Sunday evening, they all returned home and as Chakotay was telling Kiernan a bedtime story, Kathryn quietly retreated from the doorway and went downstairs to let Cassie back in for the evening. As she was walking back in the door, her eyes caught a blinking light from one of the consoles in the house. Quickly, she retreated to her bedroom and hit the display button on her screen. There before her sat her beautiful daughter, and Kathryn couldn't help but gasp.

"Hi, Mom," Kate replied with a slight crack evident in her voice.

Kathryn smiled back in reply. "Sweetheart, I've been so, so worried."

"I know, believe me, I know. I could feel it."

"Are you okay? Honey, did he…"

Kate held up her hand and Kathryn stopped. "I don't want to talk about all of that right now, Mom. I just wanted to see your face and let you know that I'm okay. Mentally and emotionally, it's going to take a while because this really rattled me, but physically, I am healing and doing much better. But, I just needed to make sure you were okay."

Kathryn shook her head in confusion. "Me?"

Kate wasn't quite sure how to even explain her feelings to her mother over subspace, but she had to give it a shot. "Look, tonight is not the time to discuss what all happened. I know you've seen the video, but I don't know I guess I just was worried that he had somehow managed to get a message to you or do something to you. That thought terrified me."

Kathryn leaned in closer to the screen trying to get a closer look at her daughter, and wanted her eyes to convey a message to her. "Kathryn, I'm fine. Nothing has happened to me, and you know Chakotay wouldn't let anything happen to me."

"Neither would I," Kate stated with affirmation.

Kathryn wasn't sure how to respond to that. She and Chakotay had discussed whether Kate had done this in some sort of way to protect her, but how does one respond to that. Sensing her mother's hesitation, Kate intervened.

"Once I get back from this mission, we'll have a nice long chat. I just needed to see your face and hear your voice to know that you are okay."

Kathryn opened her mouth to say something but noticed that Chakotay had entered the room, and it caught Kate's attention.

"Hi, Daddy," she said and the way she said it made Kathryn shiver. She had never heard Kate refer to Chakotay as Daddy, usually she always called him by the Cherokee term and the tone in her voice almost sounded like a frightened child.

Chakotay stepped closer to the screen and stood beside of where Kathryn was seated.

"Hi, honey, how are you?"

She smiled and it immediately made Kathryn feel a weight had been lifted. "All things considered, I'm doing as well as can be expected. How's Kiernan?"

Chakotay wanted to ask her all sorts of questions, but he knew her time was limited, so he resorted instead to answering her question.

"Well, Kathryn has spoiled her rotten, and I actually just finished telling her a bedtime story. I think she just fell asleep but I can go wake her up…"

Kate shook her head. "No, it's good she's asleep. I'm assuming she doesn't know anything about what happened?"

Kathryn furrowed her eyebrows. "Officially, no, but unofficially and in Kiernan's own little world, she somehow sensed something before any of us were even alerted. I thought she was suffering separation anxiety because one night she woke up and came rushing to us saying something was wrong with you and you were hurt. I tried to assure her things were okay, but then the next day, I couldn't feel you either and it started making me panic. But after that day, she has been fine. She went to a birthday party with some of her little friends the other night. She's doing very well and has adjusted marvelously."

Kate stared at them for a few moments with a serious look on her face.

"Has she said anything about Earth?"

"She likes it," Kathryn replied.

"I imagine she's going to want to stay there," Kate replied. "That's a bridge I'll have to face along with many other decisions currently flowing through my mind."

Chakotay rested his hand on Kathryn's shoulder and gently squeezed it as this discussion was playing out very similarly to some of the thoughts Kathryn had expressed to him privately. But then Kate rolled her eyes and shook her head and kind of smirked.

"Mom, I know you're ticked off at me for reading your personal logs because Deanna told me she told you. I guess I owe you…"

Kathryn cut her off. "We can discuss that later, young lady. But, did it help you?"

Kate was a little taken aback by her mother's question because she fully expected to be lectured on violating, not only Starfleet protocol, but invading an individual's privacy rights. But after enduring her escapade with Kashyk, she knew the answer to that question and was fully prepared to address that with her mother.

"Yes, it did. I was able to…"

Kathryn held up her hand and Kate stopped. "Then, that's all I need to know. I wasn't happy at all when I found out, but if it helped you, then that's all that matters."

Chakotay couldn't help but smile. He knew that Kathryn would end up succumbing. She was fired up about the personal logs being read, but she ultimately couldn't say too much about it. After she had allowed him to read the entries she had made on Kashyk, he knew immediately that those readings would have greatly aided Kate. So, they both knew, although they didn't know personally what all she had endured with him, they knew in the back of her mind that her mother's words were encouraging her and aiding her in her own manipulation with Kashyk.

"Well, I guess I better go. I know it's late for you guys and the connection on my end is somewhat breaking up. But I just wanted you to know that I am fine and safe. We'll hopefully be completing our mission in the next few months and then will return to Earth shortly thereafter. I've completed my report and submitted it to Starfleet on this incident, as well as my other senior officers. So, don't be surprised if you don't hear from Admiral Jameson soon, Mom. But I'm glad you're both doing well. Thank you again for all that you've done for Kiernan."

They both nodded before Kathryn replied, "Sweetheart, promise me that you'll confide in Deanna. You're going to need it. You're not alone in any of this. You've got a great crew who can help you through this and I know they are all going to support you. You'll get through this, but know we're here for you, and we love you."

"I love the both of you, too. Janeway out," she stated as Kathryn and Chakotay watched as the screen faded to black.

Chakotay squeezed Kathryn's shoulders a little tighter as he knew while she was relieved, she was also greatly worried about her daughter's mental status.

"She's going to be fine, Kathryn. She's tough just like you. If you survived him, she will, too, Kathryn."

Kathryn turned in the chair and stared up at him. "I know that, Chakotay, but I also know this is not going to happen overnight. She's going to go through all sorts of thoughts. She killed him, Chakotay!"

The tone in her voice changed and he couldn't determine how to interpret that. "Are you mad at her for killing him, Kathryn? What does that mean? He tried to kill our daughter. She was defending herself, protecting her ship and her family. But it almost seems like you're upset that she killed him. There aren't still some underlying feelings are there?"

He had crossed the line, but he knew what he was doing because he needed to get Kathryn angry to get this out of her system because she wasn't telling him everything. In a matter of seconds, the hand that met the side of his jaw was exactly what he deserved. She slapped him with such force that his head twisted sideways. When he looked back at her, she was seething with fury.

"Chakotay," she practically hissed. "What the hell is wrong with you? I am your wife. You are the love of my life, my soul. You are my being. You are my everything. Yet, you are accusing me of having underlying feelings for Kashyk? What the fuck is the matter with you?" He smirked, and that only infuriated her more. "Stop it, Chakotay! This is our daughter we are talking about."

He placed both hands on her shoulders and gently shook her. "That's right, Kathryn. She is OUR daughter. Don't be putting her in your shoes because that's what you're doing. Yes, she is a lot like you, but I'm her father and she's a lot like me, too. This is going to be a journey for her to overcome, but look at all she's overcome so far and she's doing just fine. Put yourself in HER shoes and think about things in that light. Let it go, Kathryn. Yes, Kashyk deflated you for a bit, but you got the last word. You had your heyday with him, but what, because he hurt your feelings a little by not wanting to be your boy toy you're wanting your own revenge? So now, you're trying to put her in your shoes to do the dirty work for you? You have to stop it, Kathryn. Pretend you are actually HER for a minute, not you. What would you have done if you were actually Kate in that moment and not Kathryn?"

She paused and studied him intently. She thought for a few moments, almost as if she were replaying the incident in her own head. Tears welled up in her eyes because she knew he was right. Deep down, the ache and hurt that Kashyk caused her was still there. She wanted revenge on so many levels and she was trying to let it play out that way in her mind rather than fully grasping the fact that this man, who did want her, ultimately had her daughter in his grasp. It hit her at full force that Kashyk wasn't trying to have his way with her, Kathryn, he was trying to hurt her daughter, and the thought sent her crippling to the ground.

In between waves of tears, Chakotay knelt down in front of her, still holding onto her shoulders.

"Answer me, Kathryn," he said with some forcefulness in his tone, but not in a degrading way.

She stiffened in response and he watched as she morphed right before him. She was fighting for control of Kathryn versus the Admiral. He shook his head and said again. "Answer me, Kathryn," making sure to add emphasis to her name and not her title.

"The same thing. I would have done the same exact thing. He was trying to rape me, her. I would have killed him, too. Self-defense, plain and simple."

"Good. I needed to prepare you."

She furrowed her eyebrows because it hadn't dawned on her why he was doing this. He had to get her to confess that because when Starfleet Command reviewed Kate's reports and the video, he knew Kathryn would get questioned on it, and likely everyone else.

"I don't understand," she simply stated.

"Starfleet Command is going to review all of this evidence, and you're going to get called in, Kathryn. You have to be able to give your honest opinion and separate your personal feelings from it. You have to be able to put yourself in her shoes and walk through the incident with her. You were seeing it from your own eyes, and while you knew she was practicing self-defense, until you actually removed the blinders and saw it from her eyes, you could have very easily said something before the Admiral's committee that you may later regret. They may question you on why it was so personal for her, and we don't know the answer to that because that is something only she does. But, you had an encounter with him that could get brought up and until you separated your encounter from her encounter, it might not have played out quite well at the committee meeting."

Kathryn's eyes widened and Chakotay realized she hadn't thought about that. "The thought hadn't even crossed my mind. But you're right. I could have very easily made things much worse all the way around. You're protecting her and me, Chakotay."

He leaned in closer and kissed her on the lips. "I will always protect you, Kathryn. Never forget that because you're not alone in this either. I know he hurt you, but he's gone now. He can never hurt you again. We will all have to get through this together and help each other heal."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried herself against his chest. She couldn't hold the tears any longer. Tears from worry over her daughter, but ultimately tears from the past. She needed a release from holding all of these memories hostage deep within the confines of her own inner being. Chakotay knew this was the physical, emotional and mental healing that Kathryn needed, and he knew that Kate would be able to heal on her own, as well. He held onto Kathryn as she continued to cry. She didn't have to explain herself to him because he knew exactly what was going through her mind, and she knew that he knew. As always, Chakotay was her rock – the one she always leaned on for support and advice.


	7. Chapter 7

**Eight Months Later**

_Voyager's_  homecoming was several months late, but that was thanks in part to a few additional exploration stops along the way. But their mission had been an overall success. They were able to report that there had been no sign of reoccurrence of the Borg near Federation space, which was the primary purpose of the trip. Other smaller tasks that they had been assigned were completed along the way with much success, as well. It had been well over a year, but they were glad to be back in Earth's orbit.

"Mr. Paris," Captain Kate Janeway stated from the bridge onboard the prestigious ship. "Set her down on Earth. We're officially home."

"Yes, ma'am," he replied as the ship went to Blue Alert and the landing sequence began.

As the crew members began their departure from the ship, each was greeted by their Captain, who stood at the door as they all poured out of the ship. Kate took time to personally thank each by name and offer a few kind words to them all. Family members and friends were on hand to welcome them home. They had been gone for well over a year, and many were anxious to see their family, friends and especially their children. As the final senior officers trickled off the ship, Kate knew her next few days would be hectic as she would have to meet with Starfleet officials to go over their missions and discoveries in great detail. She never could quite understand why the memos that the captains relayed to Starfleet were never good enough, but after that was complete, she knew she would have some down time to relax as the crew had been given a few months leave.

Commander Walker walked out the door and stopped beside of her.

"I guess I'll see you a little later at Starfleet Command?"

Kate nodded her head. "Yes, thank you for being willing to join me in the briefings as I am sure they will so thrilling."

He chuckled. They had gotten to know each other much better over the past year and developed a very close relationship.

"Hey, I'm your First Officer, so naturally my job is to always be at your side, and I'll be there to back you up for whatever they hurl at us."

Kate patted his arm and shook his hand, although part of her wanted to hug him. "Thank you, Sage, for everything. The past few months have been quite rocky, and I know I couldn't have gotten through it without you."

He smiled at her. "You're stronger than you give yourself credit for, Kate. You mastered it all on your own, but I'm glad to have been of help. Oh, and Counselor Troi-Riker sent a message through subspace wishing us all well."

While en route back to Earth,  _Voyager_  had rendezvoused with the  _Titan_  and Deanna had transported back to her home vessel, to what Kate could only imagine was a joyous reunion with her husband.

"That's great news. I'm glad she was able to join us as she was a great asset to our crew, and myself of course," Kate paused as she watched the Starfleet maintenance workers begin boarding her ship to gather readings and data from the vessel. "You off to see your family?"

He nodded and pointed to where his parents and siblings were gathered. "Yes, ma'am. They're all right over there. I know you'll be thrilled to see Kiernan. I can't believe she's waited this patiently so long."

Kate laughed and rolled her eyes. "Me either. Well, enjoy your time and I'll see you later on."

He nodded his head and departed. Kate picked up her bag and scanned the crowd watching as so many of her crew were celebrating their reunion with their family and friends. Her eyes settled on her father, who had noticeably changed some. His hair was more grey than black, and he appeared to have gained some weight, but he was still that dashingly handsome man. She noticed that her daughter was standing at his side, holding his hand and in the other hand, she was holding a bouquet of flowers. Kate couldn't help but notice the absence of one central figure – her mother.

Kate made her way through the crowd towards Chakotay and Kiernan. As she drew closer, Kiernan's patience was lost as she took off running at full speed toward her mother.

"Mommmmyyyyy!" she practically screamed with excitement.

Kate scooped her up in her arms hugging and kissing on her for a long time.

"Oh, my sweet baby! I've missed you so, so much!"

"Oh, Mommy! I've missed you more than anything. Here," she said while handing her the flowers. "These are for you."

Kate sniffed them. "My favorites!" she exclaimed while setting Kiernan back down on the ground. Kiernan instantly wrapped her arms around her mother's legs, which caused Kate to glance down.

"Sweetheart, have you grown? It seems you're much taller and bigger than the last time I saw you."

Kiernan couldn't stifle the giggles. "Yes, ma'am. The doctor says I've grown several inches, and I'm going to be a big, big girl."

Kate rolled her eyes and stepped towards her father. "Hi, Edoda," she said before he pulled her to him and enveloped her in a large and comforting hug, one that she needed desperately.

"Hi, baby," he said into her hair. "I've missed you, too. How're you doing?"

She pulled back and looked around again. Chakotay knew who she was looking for and he kind of made an expression on his face that Kate wasn't sure what it meant.

"She had a meeting," he started to say and he could instantly see Kate's expression and body language change. Fortunately, Kiernan had walked a few steps over to see Tom and B'Elanna and wasn't there to witness Kate's sudden mood change. She wanted her mother more than anything, but to Kate, it was almost defeat as she felt Starfleet had yet again taken a priority in Kathryn's life.

Kate's head had dropped, and Chakotay lifted her chin with his fingers to make her look back at him. When their eyes met, he suddenly saw her eyes shift over his right shoulder and in a matter of seconds, her eyes lit up and her entire expression changed. Kate stepped away from him and almost took off running across the tarmac. As Chakotay turned, he saw Kathryn making her way towards her daughter with a huge smile on her face. Chakotay's heart melted and he felt relief wash over him. While he knew that Kate loved him and was happy to see him, internally he knew that due to everything Kate had endured, she needed her mother's strength more than anyone at that present moment. He glanced heavenward and offered a silent thanks for Kathryn's arrival.

Even though their height difference was significant, Kathryn did her best to hold her daughter as she hugged her for dear life.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart, that I wasn't here sooner."

Kate pulled back, although still kept her arms locked around her mother. "No, I had just left the ship after everyone else had. Edoda said you had a meeting and," she stopped and Kathryn touched her cheek.

"You thought Starfleet was taking precedence again? I did have a meeting, but I didn't go to it. I got to my office with full intention of going to the meeting, but I couldn't do it. My heart was here, and I walked out and rushed here as soon as I could, but I missed the landing. I saw it from a far as I was walking here from Command. I've missed you so much, but I'm so glad you're home."

Kate was nearly in tears at the realization that her mother all but violated one of her Starfleet orders and skipped a meeting to be with her.

"Mom, I've missed you and needed you so much. We've got so much to talk about."

Kathryn put her finger over Kate's lips. "In due time, sweetheart. We will talk about everything and anything, but you need to take your time."

Chakotay and Kiernan caught up to them and they all shared a big group hug before Kiernan interrupted.

"I'm hungry, May-May."

They all couldn't help but laugh. Kate glanced around at her crew who were slowly leaving the tarmac.

"Well, I wouldn't mind eating something, too, especially if May-May is paying," Kate added with a wink at Kiernan.

Kathryn rolled her eyes and linked her arm inside of her daughter's. "I'll buy for you any day because my cooking might kill us all."

Kate laughed and scooped Kiernan up in her arms, while Chakotay took her bag from her. "I've got to be back at Command in a couple of hours to start de-briefings, but I think they'll let me eat first."

Together, they all went to one of Kate's favorite places to eat and spent a couple of hours catching up on things in their lives before Kate and Kathryn eventually made their way back to Starfleet Command to begin Kate's debriefings. Kathryn had told Kate to answer the questions truthfully and honestly, not to be worried about anything. She would be in attendance, but likely she wouldn't be able to ask many questions due to their relationship.

A short while later, Commander Walker met Kate outside of the door to the conference room. He could tell she was apprehensive, and he knew why she would be because of the one big incident that he knew would be discussed at some point over the next few days.

"I know what you're most worried about discussing, in particular in front of your mother. But, just talk from your heart. Tell everything like it is. I've got your back no matter what, and I think we'll all be just fine."

She nodded her head and together they entered the briefing room where for the next few hours they were forced to recap every single detail of the missions that  _Voyager_  had taken over the past year.

Three days later, the briefings were slowly beginning to wind down. All things considered, everything had gone smoothly, but Kate knew the big issue was still laying on the table and waiting to be discussed. She had not been staying at her parent's home during the briefings as she didn't want the panel to think she was being coached or anything by her mother. It was still somewhat hard being separated from her parents and daughter, but she knew things were winding to a close and then she would be able to take some time off and spend time with them.

As they seated themselves in the conference room, Commander Walker poured Kate a glass of water and set it in front of her. This didn't go unnoticed by Kathryn, who was watching with intensity from across the way.

"Captain Janeway," Admiral Jameson stated. "We hope this day will be the last for the briefings so that you all can fully enjoy your time with your family and friends. That being said, let's just jump right in"

Both Kate and Sage nodded their heads without saying anything. They were both ready to face this and get it over and done with.

"On Stardate," and he paused trying to locate the stardate in the records. "Well, I can't seem to find the date. But the biggest entry in our records surrounds the vessel that was initially disguised to look like something the Borg had created, but turned out to be someone else, is that correct?"

She nodded her head. "Yes, sir.  _Voyager_  had picked up traces of a vessel that displayed a lot of Borg signatures but something about it still seemed slightly off. I am not sure if that vessel is what was causing concern from the varying reports of the resurgence of the Borg that initially sent us on this mission, but the vessel gave off readings that could have easily been intercepted as being Borg. When we first saw it on our view screen, I think we all thought it was initially some type of Borg vessel but on a much smaller scale."

One of the other Admiral's, who was furiously taking notes, nodded his head and stated, "What happened next, Captain?"

"I was just about to order one of my senior officers to hail the vessel, when they ended up hailing us. Upon answering the hail, we all immediately knew it wasn't the Borg. I stated my name and the next thing I knew, I had been transported to the other vessel instantaneously."

Admiral Jameson interrupted. "Your shields did not block you from being transported?"

"No, sir," Commander Walker interrupted. "We were quite puzzled by the abilities of the vessel and how they had the capabilities to override all of our commands and in essence kidnap our Captain."

For the next few moments, they spent rehashing out the descriptions of what ensued onboard  _Voyager_  during the interim while Kate was missing and onboard the Devore ship. They discussed the procedures and the tests that were run and the final determination for how he had been able to remove Kate from her on ship without any warning or detection.

After the thorough review by Commander Walker, Admiral Faulkner approached the subject that they all had been anxiously awaiting.

"And what happened to this Mr. Kashyk?"

"He's deceased, sir," Commander Walker replied back before Kate could even open her mouth.

There was a silence in the room for a few moments. Most of the Admirals were aware of the situation, but shockingly, none of them had seen the video.

Admiral Faulkner cleared his throat and dropped the bombshell that even Kathryn hadn't anticipated.

"It's my understanding that Captain Janeway killed him, is that correct?"

"Yes, sir," she stated.

"And it's almost my understanding that there is a video of this incident. Admiral Jameson, I have not seen this video, and I'm not sure who else may or may not have seen it. If it is available, I believe we should view that now."

Kate sat stoically although part of her wanted to scream, as she did not want to have to relive this moment.

Simultaneously Admiral Janeway and Commander Walker spoke, "Admiral," they both said in unison.

Heads on the panel spun in both directions, towards Kathryn and towards Commander Walker. Admiral Jameson nodded towards Kathryn, as she had seen the video and he knew her concern over making her daughter have to relive this moment. He pointed towards Commander Walker indicating for him to speak first.

"Admiral, I understand the need to see the video. But the senior officers onboard  _Voyager_  have reviewed the video, and some of us watched the incident unfold in real time. In our findings, we feel that Captain Janeway acted in self-defense and she was justified in her actions. I understand the need for you all to see it, but it is an incident that is very harrowing and in some ways, I would almost ask that Captain Janeway be excused so she does not have to relive this moment again."

Kate was stunned, and Kathryn was even shocked in the fact that Commander Walker was all but willing to protect Kate from having to endure another round of this terrifying ordeal. She faintly nodded and smiled her appreciation in his direction before turning her glance back across to the Admirals.

Admiral Jameson nodded his head. "Admiral Faulkner, I have reviewed the video, and it is quite harrowing. I have my opinions, but I understand why the panel should also see it. But I tend to agree with Commander Walker, and I likely know that what Admiral Janeway wanted to interject mirrors Commander Walker's concerns. Captain, what you endured is harrowing and if you would be more comfortable waiting outside and not having to endure this again, I willingly excuse you from this viewing. We can call you back in once the review is complete."

Kate studied them for a moment and glanced towards her mother and Sage before responding. "You know, Admirals, what you are about to witness is likely one of the most terrifying ordeals that I've ever faced in my entire life. While part of me does want to walk out the door and not have to re-watch this ever again, I feel it is my duty as a Starfleet Captain to be responsible for my actions and if that means I have to endure this moment again, then so be it. I appreciate your concern, Commander and Admiral, but let's go ahead and review the video with the one compromise in that my young daughter never has to witness this moment."

"Agreed," Jameson stated before he nodded to the technical crew to load the video for replay.

Kathryn and Kate exchanged a brief glance before the video played. Kate, who had pondered not watching, ended up watching the replay intensely. She had watched it a few times onboard  _Voyager_  with Deanna and even once with Sage going over every single possible angle, in particular whether she could have done something different. She was determined once more to watch this to prepare herself for anything the panel may ask of her.

As the video began its replay, Kathryn couldn't help but watch her daughter, as well as the other Admiral's and gauge their reactions. There were audible gasps heard throughout the room as the number of people who had to witness her agony. Commander Walker kept his eyes glued to Kate during the entire ordeal. He wanted to reach out and put his hand on her arm or something to let her know it would be okay, but he knew that would be crossing a line in front of the entire Starfleet brass fleet. Once the video ended, the Admiral's on the panel sat back in their chairs. Some were shaking their heads in disbelief, some were glancing at Kate with somber expressions. A thick tension encompassed the room.

Admiral Faulkner looked like he had even seen a ghost, but he finally summoned the courage to speak.

"Captain Janeway, you were brutally attacked during that ordeal and suffered God knows what else prior to the video recording even beginning. On a personal note, how are you now?"

She smiled and tilted her head pausing a moment to gather her thoughts before she answered.

"Thank you, sir, for asking. Physically, I am fine. It took a while for me to recover from my injuries. Emotionally and psychologically, we were fortunate to have Counselor Troi-Riker with us onboard our ship, and she provided a great deal of counseling to me after the ordeal. Re-watching that brought a lot of my suppressed feelings back to the surface, but I am a work in progress and doing much better than I was previously, thank you."

"It's noted here in your logs, as well as the logs of several other officers, that shortly after the incident, you ordered the destruction of the vessel before you relinquished command of your ship to Commander Walker. What led you to make that decision?"

Kate knew that was a valid question and one she was prepared to answer. "I ordered the destruction of the vessel because it posed a threat not only to  _Voyager_ , but additionally to our Federation. The ship was wired with explosions and had a collision course programmed to intercept Starfleet Command, if it was able to reach the destination. I wasn't about to let innocent lives be sacrificed for the vendetta of one sick individual. When I was safely back onboard  _Voyager_ , I was running on so much adrenaline that I was not aware of the blood that was pouring out of me. I didn't know whether I would survive the ordeal or not, so I ultimately turned over control of  _Voyager_  to Commander Walker. Then I instructed the Doctor to conduct my own personal physical and psychological evaluation to determine whether I was fit to return to command. I didn't want to command a ship and make some hasty decisions when I might not be in my right frame of mind to do so."

"Commander Walker, did Captain Janeway order you and the senior officers to review the data and video to make a determination of her capabilities to lead?"

Without hesitation, he responded. "Captain Janeway did not order us to review it. She provided the recording to Lt. Commander Torres and asked her to see if she could even recover any of the recording. She then asked if we would look at it to determine our thoughts. As I mentioned previously, we had witnessed some of the incident unfold live before our very eyes. I ended up calling all of the senior officers, along with Counselor Troi-Riker, together for a briefing and we reviewed the video together. I think mentally the Captain, without saying to us, was questioning whether she was capable of returning to command or questioning possibly whether her actions were justifiable. I instructed our senior officers to write down their decision on what they saw. I reviewed each of them and each of our senior officers determined that her actions were justifiable as it was all within self-defense.

"Kashyk tried to rape her and brutally attacked her on several occasions. She likely would have been killed by him, and when he approached her from behind with the weapon as that stab quite likely could and should have killed her. She is one of the toughest and strongest individuals I have ever met. We all concurred that while her reaction may have been a bit extreme, it was warranted and justifiable. I don't know why this is even being brought into account. She did take some time off to recover, but once she returned to full-time duty, under the Doctor's watchful eye, she picked back up as if nothing had happened. I believe if you all closely examine this evidence and review it with great detail, you will see that her actions were warranted, as well."

Kate was speechless. In some ways she wondered if Commander Walker had a past as an attorney. Her entire crew had almost come to her defense, but ultimately, she herself had not only been questioning her capabilities to command a ship, but whether she still had the desire and passion to do so. That was for an entirely different discussion.

Admiral Jameson couldn't help but let a small smirk creep across his face. "Commander Walker, if I didn't say so myself, I would say you'd make an excellent attorney for Starfleet," he paused while a few chuckles echoed throughout the meeting room. "We have reviewed the logs of the other senior officers, and I've already made my determination that Captain Janeway's actions were very much justifiable. My only regret is that she had to endure this much pain and hardship. You made the sacrifice, Kate, for all of us at Starfleet and we all owe you a debt of gratitude."

She smiled and nodded her head in appreciation. Admiral Jameson directed they continue onward with the remainder of the mission review to finally conclude this briefing, however Admiral Faulkner interjected.

"Before we finish, Admiral, as I do agree that the Captain's actions were quite justifiable, I am curious about one thing. Captain, what exactly did you say to him at the end that was inaudible and what did you take from his hand?"

Commander Walker's eyes blared and Kathryn didn't miss it. This was the one thing that no one, not even Deanna Troi-Riker herself, had been able to extract from Kate. They all knew what she had retrieved but none of them could get her to break on what she had told him.

If it were even possible, Kate sat even straighter in her chair and stared Admiral Faulkner directly in the eye.

"Admiral, Mr. Kashyk had stolen my necklace from my neck shortly after my arrival upon his ship. So, as he lay there on the ground, he held my necklace in his hand. I leaned down and snatched it back, as it is my personal property and something that is very meaningful to me. What I conveyed to Mr. Kashyk is not relevant. He was dying and I had a private message to relay to him, and I prefer not to answer that question."

Walker was amazed that she had avoided the question again and all but told the Admiral's she wasn't going to address it. He feared that Admiral Faulkner may push her and order her to reveal it. But Kathryn interjected before Faulkner could respond.

"Admiral Jameson, if I know Captain Janeway, as well as I should, her necklace does hold great significance to her and while I don't know what she told him either, I imagine it had something to do with retrieving her necklace. But I also don't think it is relevant to this panel. She made a decision in the heat of the moment, one that saved her life and ultimately saved who knows how many other lives. Maybe this is me talking because I am her mother, but I think this topic has been covered enough. I think it is time we give her a break and quit dragging her through recanting such a horrific trauma that she doesn't need to continually relive."

Kate glanced at her mother and faintly smiled. She didn't need her mother coming to her defense, but she was glad she did because Kate would go to the brig before she told anyone what she had told Kashyk.

The Admirals concurred with Admiral Janeway's request and changed topics. Eventually, the panel concluded the review with the Captain and the Commander and relieved them from the proceedings. The panel would continue to meet to review the findings and move forward, but as far as they were concerned, the Captain and Commander were free to enjoy their sabbatical before returning for their next mission assignment. Together, Kate and Sage walked out of the briefing room, and he couldn't help but notice she was tense.

"Hey, what do you say about grabbing something to eat? My treat," he suggested. "I know you likely want to go home and spend time with Kiernan, but I just thought I'd…"

"That'd be great. I do want to see her, but I need to unwind before I go home to see her. So, yes, I'd love to grab something to eat with you."

Kate and Sage enjoyed a light meal together while continuing to try to put the panel interrogations behind them. She was grateful for her First Officer and friend. Since their return back to Earth, Kate seemed to be amassing a crowd wherever she went, and she wasn't quite adjusted to her new found celebrity, but thankfully Sage helped to fend off some of the onlookers. Against her protest, he walked her home to her parent's house where he wished her an enjoyable break. She agreed to message him and keep in touch in the interim, but both were anxious to spend time with their family and friends and do a little travelling. As Kate walked up the walkway to her parents' front door, she couldn't help but turn back and wave goodbye to him and watch as he strolled down the sidewalk. She shook her head at the irony in how much he did indeed remind her of her father all the more when she had tried so hard initially to convince herself otherwise.

She knocked on the door, even though she knew she could have just turned the handle and gone in. When the door opened, she was greeted by a very familiar face, Galina Amaez.

"Uh, Galina?" Kate questioned. "Did I take a wrong turn?"

"No, ma'am. Come on in," Galina said and stepped aside as a raucous of 'surprises' were shouted by all of the senior officers from  _Voyager_. Kate spun on her heels at the realization she had just sent Sage down the road, but as she turned around, he was coming back up the walkway behind her.

"What's all this?" Kate questioned and greeted her senior staff with hugs and warm wishes.

"This was your mother's idea," Chakotay said while wrapping his arms around his daughter.

"Where's Kiernan?" Kate quizzed.

"Oh, it's not just the senior staff," Chakotay interrupted. "The whole damn crew is here with all their families. So, Kiernan is out back with all the children. Happy as a little lark."

Kate's eyes widened and she turned to Sage. "You knew about this?"

He flashed her a smile and a wink before nodding his head.

"So, your inviting me to get a bite to eat wasn't just you being a nice gentleman, it was a part of this?"

He held up his hands and shook his head. "Actually, no. The Admiral asked me to delay you somehow, but I was going to suggest getting some food anyways so that you could unwind."

Kate shook her head and continued to greet each of her crew members. She couldn't believe that her mother had opened her house to the entire crew and their families. As she made her way out the back door, she was stunned to see the full spread of food, a band playing and all the works of a full party. Kathryn and Chakotay had gone overboard to welcome their daughter back home and reunite her crew. Kiernan was playing out in the yard with her friends, but as soon as she saw her mother, she took off in a mad dash and headed straight for her. They embraced and shared some small words before Kiernan retreated to her group of playmates. Kate was chatting with some fellow crew members but she noticed the absence of her mother, which somewhat surprised her. Sensing her apprehension, Chakotay sided up to her and pulled her aside.

"I know who you're looking for, and she's not returned from the panel review yet. She said they wanted to work late this evening to officially wrap up. She still wanted the party to go on, and she'll be here as soon as she can."

Kate smirked, "You always know, don't you?"

He laughed. "That you're worried about her or I always know that because you're just like her that I can sense when something is wrong with you just as I did with her?"

"Both," she laughed. "But that's a good quality to have, and I appreciate that. You guys shouldn't have done all of this, but it truly is heartwarming, so thank you."

He kissed her on the cheek. "For you, anything, my darling."

"I'm sorry about earlier this week," she paused while glancing up to catch his eyes. "It was rude of me, and ultimately wrong of me, at the airfield to leave you and go rushing after Mom," she added while glancing down at her feet.

With his right hand, Chakotay tilted her head so that their eyes met. "You needed her, you still do. You have nothing to apologize for, okay?"

She wrapped her arms around her and hugged him. "I love you so much, Edoda, and I'm so happy to be home," she added while pulling back and glancing around her surroundings. Kate couldn't help but feel slightly overwhelmed being surrounded by so many whom she loved and cared for, and she, in turn, felt that they felt the same way towards her.

"Ladies and Gentleman, can I please have your attention for one brief moment?" came from a voice all too familiar to Kate and practically everyone else in attendance - that of her mother's, who had taken to the stage and somehow had slipped in without Kate's noticing. Kiernan had bolted on the stage beside of Kathryn, and Kate couldn't help but watch at how much her daughter had become glued to her grandmother.

Kate, who was still standing with Chakotay, turned to look up at him. "Kiernan has really glued herself to Mom, hasn't she?"

Chakotay smiled and nodded. "More than you can imagine. I've never seen Kathryn quite content and happy as she is when Kiernan is glued to her. She loves her Kate, just as much as she loves you. You've given her, and ultimately me, a second chance. But know this, Kiernan knows you are her mother, and she loves you more than Kathryn, believe me on that."

Kate smiled at him and nodded her head. "Please tell me that Mom isn't about to sing?"

He laughed, "That's doubtful, but I'll admit that her singing is somewhat better than her cooking skills."

After a few moments, as everyone had finally gathered in the backyard, Kathryn spoke again. "Ladies and gentleman, I want to thank each and every one of you who have faithfully served on this latest mission. Some of you made a great sacrifice in having to leave your children behind, one of which you can see is currently attached to me. But I am glad to see you are all happy and reunited with your families. I have just arrived back from Command as the panel has finished their briefings that Commander Walker and Captain Janeway had to painstakingly sit through and answer quite tedious questions pertaining to your mission. May I say, and not because one of them happens to be related to me, that you all quite possibly have the best command team that has ever served in Starfleet. And I am pleased to announce that the panel has deemed your mission a superior success and found no issues to warrant any investigations. So, with that being said, let us celebrate the night away. To friendship and to the crew and family members of the  _USS Voyager_. Enjoy and stay as long as you like."

Kate couldn't help but turn and catch Sage's eye, who was with his family. He nodded his congratulations and she mouthed a thank you to him. There was no way she could have endured the ordeal without him. She knew now why Chakotay had become so important to her own mother on so many levels. He saw her let out the sigh of relief as Chakotay embraced her.

"I know you went through an ordeal, as Kathryn called shortly after you two were excused. We'll help you get through what lies ahead, but congratulations on passing with flying colors."

Kate hugged her father once more and thanked him for always being there for her, especially over the past few years as he was always able to offer words of encouragement and helped to keep her calm in the midst of a chaotic storm.


	8. Chapter 8

Over the course of the next few days, Kate spent most of the time with Kiernan taking adventures and readjusting to her life back on Earth and away from Starfleet. She knew that her parents wanted to get her away from California for a few days, but she wasn't quite ready to go on any far adventures, as she needed to get a few things off her chest and leave with a clean slate rather than a dark cloud looming above her head, as she felt it still was.

One afternoon, as Kate was watching Kiernan play in one of the local parks, she couldn't help but drift off and ponder her future for a few moments. Part of her wanted to go back to space and continue her explorations, but another part of her wanted to settle down on Earth and do more research and possibly become an instructor for Starfleet Command and the Academy focusing on areas where she felt Starfleet lacked proper instruction for young cadets. But ultimately, she needed to inquire with her child to see what she was thinking because she was ultimately Kate's top priority.

"Kiernan," Kate called out to her daughter. "Come here for a minute," she asked and watched as her little miniature daughter bounced across the park and headed toward the bench that she was situated upon.

Kiernan climbed up on the bench beside of her mother and took the snack bag that Kate had handed her.

"Thank you, Mommy," she replied and graced her mother with a beautiful smile. "I'm so glad you're back. I've enjoyed spending so much time with you."

Kate's heart melted. "Oh, sweetheart, I missed you so much, and I'm glad we've been able to spend so much time together, too. I wanted to ask you a question."

"Okay," Kiernan replied while taking a bite of her snack.

Kate had pondered how to even address the topic with Kiernan, but she finally just gave up and bluntly asked her. "Do you like your schooling better here on Earth or on  _Voyager_?"

Kiernan's eyes blared a little in confusion as to why her mother would be asking such a question. "Well, Mommy, I mean we have two of the same teachers, but we have more opportunities here. I mean we can take field trips, we have access to the labs and such at the Institute and the Academy. I'll always love  _Voyager_ , but I think I've learned more while I've been here. Why, Mommy? Are you thinking of making me stay behind again with May-May?"

Kate ruffled her hair and watched as she batted her big blue eyes at her. "I'm not sure, honey. I'm thinking about a lot of things for even me personally. But you're my top concern, and I want whatever is best for you. So, if schooling here is the better alternative, then we have to consider that option. But Mommy's got a lot on her mind, too."

Kiernan sensed her mother's hesitancy. "Mommy, I know they haven't told me a lot, but I know something happened on your mission. I can feel it, and I felt it. I felt you were hurting for a while, but then it seemed things got better. But, I don't know, Mommy, you just don't seem happy or maybe you're still hurting? I know you love being the Captain and being in space, but sometimes I wish we could just stay here permanently, you know?"

Kate wrapped her arm around her daughter's shoulders and pulled her a little closer to her. "I know what you're saying, Kiernan. Mommy did go through an awful a lot during our last mission. Things that you're too little to hear and understand, though I know you would understand. But I was hurt in several ways, and it will take me a long time to recover. And while Mommy hasn't made any decisions yet, she is pondering some things about our future. But you can't say anything to anyone, okay? I'm going to talk to May-May later and get some advice. Then we're going to go on a little vacation, and I'll make my decision once I get back. I don't know what the future may hold, but I'm never going to let anything harm you. Do you understand that?"

"Yes, ma'am, I understand because you love me so much. You're always going to protect me. And I won't say a word."

Kate hugged and kissed her daughter and watched as she bounced back off to the play equipment and played in solitude for a few more moments before they eventually retreated home.

Once they arrived home, Kate couldn't help but be greeted with an amazing smell of one of her favorite meals. But there was no way that Kathryn would have cooked it or so she thought. They were still staying with her parents as Kate had not had time to search for a place to stay, and she didn't feel like utilizing Starfleet housing just yet. Kiernan bounced through the door and dashed with Cassie upstairs to her room. Kate crept into the kitchen and found her mother pouring over a recipe. She raised her eyebrows in stark surprise.

"You're cooking?" Kate questioned, which caused Kathryn to whirl around with a smirk on her face.

"Actually, your father made it and left me instructions on how to properly cook it. He's got a late class tonight, but wanted you to have your favorite meal."

Kate couldn't help but smile, as she stepped further into the kitchen to assist her mother with the final meal preparations. "It smells delicious. You two are so good to Kiernan and me. I don't know what we'd do without you both," Kate stated while giving Kathryn a side hug and kissing her cheek.

All throughout their dinner, Kathryn could instantly tell that something was bothering Kate. She seemed as if her mind was a million miles away. Kathryn had not yet approached the subject of what happened between Kate and Kashyk, as she wanted to give her daughter time to open up and talk about it with her, if she so chose. But tonight, something seemed off. After dinner, the trio, along with Cassie, watched a movie that Kiernan had wanted to see, but she fell asleep halfway through the movie. Kate took her upstairs and tucked her in bed, and upon returning downstairs, she found her mother cleaning up the kitchen.

"What can I help with?" she asked Kathryn.

"Oh, I'm about done, but I fixed you some hot chocolate if you want to go sit outside on the upper patio and relax a bit. I'll join you in a few minutes, if you'd like some company?"

Kate smiled, and internally she knew this was the time she needed to talk to her mother in great detail. "That'd be wonderful," she replied before heading out to take a seat on the oversized chaise lounge chair.

Kate was so deep in thought, she never heard her mother come out the door, but she smelt the strong fragrant aroma of her mother's coffee and it brought her back to her senses. Kathryn was standing up peering down at her and watching as the moon was rising higher and higher in to the sky. She sat down beside her daughter on the chaise lounge and pulled a blanket over her as the night air had a bit of a crisp pull to it.

"Sometimes it's hard to believe that I've been out there to the Moon and even flew well beyond that. Sitting here looking up at it, makes it seem so, so far away," Kathryn spoke quietly. When Kate didn't respond she glanced over at her daughter and noticed how she was staring at the moon and the stars reflected in her eyes. "Sweetheart, are you okay? You've just seemed so distant tonight."

Kate blinked a few times and then glanced over at her mother and a faint smile crept upon her face but disappeared as quickly as it appeared. "I don't know, Mom. I just feel like my mind is filled with so many questions and things that I need to ponder. I almost feel at a loss, and the weight of all that happened is weighing down on me."

"Would it help to talk about it? I know you've been rather withdrawn and not wanted to talk about things, and if you don't tonight, I will completely understand."

Kate interrupted and cut her off, "No, I need to talk about it, especially with you. I've been meaning to do so for quite a while, but I just wasn't sure how to bring it up."

Kathryn reached out and took her daughter by the hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Talk about whatever you want to. If you just want to talk, I'm always here to lend an ear. If you need advice or have questions, I'll do my best to help you. Would you rather wait until Chakotay gets home?"

Kate shook her head. "No, I mean he can know, you can tell him, but I think I'd rather just discuss things with you, for now."

Kathryn nodded her head and watched as Kate glanced back skyward before letting her eyes settle on a far remote point in the blackness of the bay ahead of her. In some ways it was a haunting sight as Kathryn could immediately tell how Kate was riddled with pain and so many emotions, but she knew this would be good for the both of them.

"You know," Kate started. "I don't know what possessed me to read your personal logs. I was reading all the Captain's logs of yours and Chakotay's, as I thought they were only be appropriate. For some reason, one night, I was able to access your personal logs and I found the portions you wrote about your encounter with Kashyk to be quite riveting yet also infuriating. Even while reading the logs, part of me wanted to just hurt the man because of the personal ache that I felt emanated from your writings. But anyways, in some way, as crazy as it may seem, it helped me more than I ever imagined.

"I never in my wildest dreams would have thought we would have encountered him. By all intents and purposes,  _Voyager_ thought it was a Borg vessel. I don't know how he had so cleverly designed his new ship, but he was on a terror mission, that's for sure. When he popped up on the view screen, I didn't even initially know who he was as I had never seen him before, but my gut started acting up. I remember Harry and Tom exchanging looks and B'Elanna even gasped. No sooner than I had identified myself, I was gone and on his ship. It was surreal to say the least, and in that sheer instance, I was immediately relieved that Kiernan was nowhere near  _Voyager_."

Kate took a moment to pause, sip her hot chocolate and shift on the lounge, so that she was now resting on her side facing Kathryn, instead of staring out across the horizon.

"Anyways, most everything you witnessed on the video. But prior to that, he was just horrible. He was so belittling of people. He had a personal vendetta to make sure he caused as much damage to Starfleet since they screwed him over, or so he said. He and I argued back and forth for a good amount of time until he all but ripped my necklace off my neck and pocketed it. He was so crude and so arrogant. I couldn't stand it, and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what you could have possibly seen in him. But then, no sooner had he been like that, he'd totally switch personalities and become the ultimate charmer.

"Sadly for him, his charms didn't work on me because he knew from the first instance that I despised him and he would not be successful in charming me. We went round and round discussing you and him and all this other crap. He kept making all sorts of derogatory comments about me and what he'd like to do with me before he practically ripped my clothes off and threatened to cut me with the knife if I didn't comply with his wishes and desires. The rest you pretty much witnessed first-hand through the video. Nonetheless, I killed him. Not just in self-defense but primarily because he posed a major threat to  _Voyager_ and Federation space. That's ultimately why I ordered the destruction of his ship. But the whole thing still haunts me as to whether I did the right thing or should I have done things differently?"

Kathryn reached across and touched her daughter's face. "You did the right thing, my sweet Kathryn. You had no choice. If you hadn't killed him, there's no telling what he would have done to you and everyone else. You saved us all. I just regret you had to endure it all alone. I would have done anything to have traded places with you and born those burdens for you. I wish I could erase it all from your memory so you don't have those visuals and fears. But don't dwell on whether you did the right thing or not. Everyone who has watched that concurs, you did and it's done with. You saved us all from a wretched person."

Kate attempted to smile but tears slowly trickled down her face because hearing mother say that, in some way was the solidification that she needed.

Kathryn was worried though, and she had to press her daughter over something that both she and Chakotay had discussed. "Sweetheart, I have to know because God knows your father wants to know, did he rape you and you not tell anyone?"

Kate shook her head, initially thinking Kathryn was going to ask something else. "No, he didn't. I was afraid he was going to, and he was getting closer and closer to that as I believe it was his intention. And if he had, I would have had to have to deal with it, somehow. He came close, but I fought back. In the end, I believe he would have had things not taken a different turn."

Kathryn reached out and stroked Kate's arm before holding the star charm from her necklace in her own hand. Kate knew Kathryn wanted to ask what everyone else had asked and feared asking.

"Why won't you tell anyone what you said to him?" Kathryn asked in a different way than Kate had expected.

Kate stiffened a little and Kathryn immediately noticed the tension. "I'd go to the brig before I told anyone that, and primarily because I feared that it might cause someone to change their opinion and wonder my motive for killing him."

Kathryn shook her head. "Kate, I don't understand. The video clearly shows how he threatened to rape you, how he did assault you physically several times and how he brutally stabbed you in the neck, which could and quite likely should have killed you. You had every single right to react in the manner you did. It was in self-defense, pure and simple. What could you have possibly said to him that has you so worried that you'd willingly lock yourself down for?"

Kate looked away and seriously pondered whether to even confess to her mother. She glanced back at her and looked deep in Kathryn's eyes. Kate knew she could trust her. She saw love, compassion and most of all concern deep within her mother's eyes, and knew that if she told her what had transpired that Kathryn would keep that to herself and Chakotay until the day she died.

Instinctively, Kate reached out and took Kathryn by the hand before taking a big breath.

"I don't know what I was thinking, but after he had stabbed me and I managed to spin and kick him directly to where he was pouring blood from his gut wound, we fought for the knife. I had the upper hand and knocked him down on the ground. He sneered at me and made a comment about you that was basically unintelligible over the recording, but I heard it, believe me I heard it. It infuriated me, and I just grasped the knife and plunged it into his chest. As I leaned down to retrieve my necklace, as I wasn't leaving that behind, he had a look of astonishment that crept across his face, whereas I had the cocky and smug look on my face. I leaned down and whispered to him while nodding my head towards the knife that was protruding from his heart. I said to him exactly these words, "That was for my mother. You'll never hurt her again, you son of a bitch."

Kathryn couldn't suppress the gasp that suddenly escaped her lips. "Sweetheart," she stated and was stopped when Kate put her hand over her mother's mouth. She eventually just collapsed against her mother's chest as waves of tears and sobs flowed from her body. As Kathryn sat there holding her tightly against her chest, she couldn't help but shed a few tears of her own. In that moment, she not only realized that Kate had killed Kashyk to protect herself,  _Voyager_  and the Federation, but there was a slight portion deep within her that did it to protect Kathryn.

Kathryn wouldn't call it a revenge kill, but she could see why Kate never would tell anyone that because some might misinterpret it as just that. Knowing what she had written in her personal logs, she knew now why Kate had gotten so upset. It was Chakotay raging within her daughter, and the Angry Warrior had come out in her. Nonetheless, it didn't change Kathryn's opinion in that Kate still did the right thing.

"I just don't know if I can do this anymore," Kathryn heard Kate barely say directly into her chest.

Kathryn pushed Kate a little bit back off of her and looked her directly in her face. She slowly wiped some of the tears off Kate's face, and in that moment, Kate realized that Kathryn had been crying, too.

"What aren't you sure you can't do anymore, honey?"

"This. Be a Captain. Part of me wants nothing more than to get back on  _Voyager_  and set sail on our next mission, but part of me wants to stay here on Earth and do more research and teaching. Work for Command or the Academy in some way. I just don't know what I want to do. I don't want to disappoint or let anyone down, but at the same time, I want my daughter to be safe and happy. She's safe here; she's happy here. She's learning much more. But in some ways, I feel my hands are tied. I've been in space for years, but I am almost partially ready for a respite."

Kathryn held her daughter's face in the palms of both of her hands. "Look at me," she said and forced Kate to look her square in the eye. "All that you've been through in your life, in your Starfleet career, we are indebted to you. Not just Starfleet but everyone. You've risked your life countless times. You've lost your spouse and almost lost your own life on several occasions. I'm not even sure if it's worth that risk anymore, especially with Kiernan in the mix. She doesn't know what happened, but I know she has suspected something. If you want to return to the Captain's chair and command your ship, I know you will do the best that you can. But, if you want to step down from active service and take on more of a role at Command or the Academy, I know that there are a multitude of positions available and we would be happy to have you.

"Plus, if you still had the desire to one day return to space service, I am sure that can always be arranged and you'll be sent on missions no matter what position you serve in. I say all of that to say, no matter what you decide, never, NEVER think that I will be disappointed in you for stepping down. I went through something similar after I lost Justin, and I know somewhat how you feel, yet I never have quite fully gone through anything as extensive as you have. You're not quitting. Don't look at it like that. You would simply be moving on to something bigger and better. No matter where you are on this planet or any other planet, universe or galaxy, I will always be proud of you and support you no matter what."

Kate kissed her mother on the cheek and the wrapped her arms around her and held onto her again. "Thank you, Mom. I know I've got some time to think about it, but I firmly believe that most of my senior crew is planning to retire and step-down at least the ones that were with you and Dad for all those years. I think part of me thinks if that happens, I would just be ready for a full break, too. I just don't know how on Earth I will approach Admiral Jameson about this."

Kathryn pushed some stray hairs of her daughter's off from her face and stared down at her. "Well, I can gladly assist you with that. I won't put in any requests, but I can have a talk with him to see what availabilities there are or we can go together and talk to him."

Kate smiled up at her mother. "I'd really appreciate that. I know I said before I didn't want any special favors, and I still don't. But this time, I think I might need some back up when I go confront him."

Kathryn chuckled. "He's actually not as bad as most people think. Believe me, I think he will be very understanding. Actually most all of them will be. After you and Commander Walker left today, the panel was in shock and really upset over the video they had witnessed. They were horrified at how you were treated, yet astounded with how well you handled yourself. I don't think you'll have any of them say one negative thing about your decision if you so choose to step-down from  _Voyager_."

Kate was tired and Kathryn could immediately tell, but she didn't want to let her go. Kate stayed resting upon her mother's chest with both of them staring skyward. In that moment, Chakotay peered through the glass door and could instantly tell, he had missed an emotional evening. He quietly stepped outside and Kate laughed.

"You're not as quiet as you think, you know?"

Kathryn couldn't help but laugh as she had sensed his presence too. "No, he's getting a little rusty in his Native American technique. Maybe you need to help refresh his memory."

"Geez, the two of you ganging up on me. Are you both okay? I don't want to interrupt anything."

Kate sat up from her position and shook her head. "We're fine. We had a nice little bonding moment, and I might have had a slight meltdown, but I do feel much better. I am quite tired, so I think I'm actually going to head to bed. But Mom, you can fill him in on everything, I promise it'll be fine."

She hugged and kissed both of her parents before she retreated to her bedroom. Chakotay took her place on the chaise and pulled Kathryn to rest against his shoulder. "Why do I feel I missed something very important?"

"Well, she unloaded the Kashyk story. She told me what she told him, and she ultimately told me that she's not sure whether she wants to continue to be the Captain of  _Voyager_."

For the next few minutes, Kathryn recapped all that Kate had told her to Chakotay. He sat stoically and listened with great intensity to what his wife was telling him. She could immediately feel him tense any time she mentioned Kashyk, and when she told him word for word what Kate had told him, Kathryn couldn't help but feel Chakotay let out a huge breath that he had been holding followed by a "wow."

After she finished talking, Chakotay, who was playing with her hair, asked her a question he had on his mind. "We talked about this before, Kathryn, but are you really going to be disappointed should she step down from the Captain's chair?"

Kathryn sat there for a few moments in silence before she turned to face Chakotay. He studied her eyes and for once in his life, he saw fear. She was one who prided herself on being strong, courageous and dared to stare fear in the eye. But he saw fear in her eyes and it scared him.

"Kathryn," he said while grasping for her hands.

"I'm scared for her Chakotay. Part of her wants to keep being the Captain, but part of her doesn't want to anymore. Hell, after all she's been through, I wouldn't want to go back up there either. But you know how it is, the thrill of it all. But, if she's lost her passion for it, then no, she doesn't need to be up there. She wants to be with her daughter, and no one has any right to tell her otherwise. As much as it thrilled and honored me to know she was serving as the Captain onboard  _Voyager_ , it isn't my passion and desire for her to do that until she dies, which as risky as she is, Chakotay, I fear that she would go to that extreme.

"She was willing to die for  _Voyager_ , for you and ultimately me at the hands of Kashyk, so she would be willing to die for just about anything. I don't think she should risk it. I think there are many more ways in which she can be so much more beneficial. Everyone loves and respects her. She could almost serve as the face of the Federation and recruit so many more people. I can see her leading peace negotiations when no one else could. So to answer your question, no, I'm not going to be disappointed at all. I'm actually going to be terrified if she chooses to go back, that's what scares me more than anything."

He nodded his head. "Ultimately, we can't make the decision for her. She will have to choose, but I think she'll listen to her heart and she will let it guide her. When you go to meet with Admiral Jameson, I think that will provide her a lot of much needed clarity. But you're right, I can see so many opportunities for her where she may be able to exceed anything that she ever has done, as far as reaching more people, mentoring them in ways that no one else could. She is an asset that Starfleet will not want to get rid of, and you know that. Heck, maybe they'll even appoint her to an Admiral position to serve as some type of Ambassador. She would be the best Admiral, ever!"

"Hey!" Kathryn joked in mock protest before chuckling. "She would be an excellent Admiral though."

Kathryn and Chakotay eventually went to bed, and even though it had been a relatively stressful day, every one managed to sleep fairly sound. The next morning, Kathryn approached Kate and asked if she wanted to meet with Admiral Jameson that day or delay it until after their vacation. Kate pondered it for a few moments and decided she wanted to talk to him about her ideas to get it off her mind. That way she could give him time to ponder some ideas, and hopefully have some suggestions for her once they returned from their much needed family vacation.

**Four Months Later**

Shortly after returning from vacation, Kate returned to Starfleet Command and held an impromptu meeting with Admiral Jameson concerning her future. He had offered her a plethora of opportunities should she ultimately decide that she wanted to step down from the Captain's chair. While on vacation, she pondered the ideas and opportunities that were available to her. As she watched her mother, father, daughter and extended family spend time together, she realized that while she loved space exploration more than anything, this was home. She felt that she could be a better asset on Earth, but still, on occasion, be able to serve onboard various space missions should the need arise.

After exchanging pleasantries with Admiral Jameson and catching him up on her hiatus, she got down to business.

"Admiral," she began and paused gathering her thoughts. "After much thought and consideration, I have made my decision regarding my future with Starfleet."

"I'm anxious to hear, Captain," he replied.

"Sir, serving in various aspects during countless missions and onboard a number of vessels, has been more than I ever could have asked for in my life. I've seen things one could only dream of, and I have loved every single minute of it. Had my husband not passed away several years ago, I might would seriously be making an entirely different decision. But, I have a young daughter who has flourished so much during her time here on Earth, yet I can't take advantage of my parents and monopolize their life by asking them to keep her just so I can continue to enjoy being the Captain onboard a starship. I've talked with Kiernan, and to be honest, she will do whatever I decide. But after my last brush with death, I'm just not so sure how much passion I feel anymore. And I've always been told that once you don't feel the passion anymore, then try to find something that is more appealing and brings your passion back.

"Serving as the Captain of  _Voyager_  has been more than a dream come true, and I can never thank you and all the other admirals enough for blessing me with that opportunity. But, with that being said, I think I would prefer to take you up on some of your other offers. I feel I can almost serve better here at Command in a liaison type role. It will still give me the ability to travel in space to various places, but it'll also allow me to spend more time here on Earth with my daughter. The Academy has also approached me about taking on teaching a few classes here and there, as well, and working in one of their research departments. My only fear is what will happen to the crew onboard  _Voyager_. I know a lot have been pondering retirement, and I hope that you would consider Commander Walker to serve as the Captain as he is more than capable of leading any vessel. But, if you're still willing to allow me to transition over into the Command role, I would be more than gracious."

Admiral Jameson leaned back in his chair and smiled. "Well, Captain, I kind of had a feeling you might make that decision, and to be honest with you, I don't blame you. You've endured more than anyone I have ever known during your Starfleet career, yet you are so strong and resilient that you don't let anything deter you. It is a remarkable and an admirable quality to possess, a rarity, as well. We will be more than happy to have you here and at the Academy. I'm not sure what your new title will be, but over the course of the next few weeks and months ahead, we will iron out the details and get everything straightened up. And, you're right, you'll still most definitely get to spend time in space, and down the road, should you want to return to space on a permanent basis, I am about sure we can have that arranged, as well. We can't let you stay grounded too long.

"Now, as far as  _Voyager_. I'm sure that you'll want to address your crew, and I completely understand that. I've been thinking about your replacement and was pondering Commander Walker, but with your blessing behind it, as well, this may solidify our choice. But, with that being said, I do have a surprise for you."

Kate's eyes widened slightly and she nodded her head in somewhat astonishment. "Yes, sir?" she questioned.

He briefly turned his back and reached for a small box. "On behalf of Starfleet, you're being promoted to the rank of Admiral. Your mother had nothing to do with this, matter of fact, she's just finding out about this right now. I know you likely wouldn't want a flashy ceremony, but we will make an official announcement. But because of all your hard work and dedication over the years, this is a well-deserved honor for you."

Kate's mouth fell wide-open as she had never seen this moment coming. Shock wasn't even plausible. "Admiral, I just. I don't know what to say. I mean are you sure? I mean I've not been a Captain that long."

He laughed and waved her off. "Of course, we're sure. Starfleet wouldn't be offering you the promotion if we weren't sure. At this rate, one day, you might be the head of Starfleet or maybe even President of the United Federation of Planets."

Kate stood proudly as the Admiral pinned her newly appointed pips upon her. "Congratulations, Admiral Janeway, which is kind of scary to think we have two of you now."

They both chuckled. "Thank you, sir."

As she opened the door to the hallway, she was greeted with a sight that she hadn't expected to see. All of the senior officers from  _Voyager_ , as well as her parents and quite a number of other colleagues. She turned to glance back at Admiral Jameson with a look of confusion.

"I had an idea after our last discussion what your decision might be. I called the senior officers in to let them know of your promotion, which they obviously took as the clue of your stepping down. If you hadn't accepted the change, well, then I guess things would have been entirely different."

She shook her head in confusion and amazement before greeting each of her crew members with hugs. She instructed Commander Walker to pull together the rest of the crew as she wanted to break the news to all of them, which she knew would be bittersweet. But before he could leave to go, Admiral Jameson stopped him and handed Kate a small box. Instantly she knew that Jameson was about to appoint Sage to the Captain's chair onboard  _Voyager_  and when they met with the crew, they would be able to announce that information.

"Commander Walker?" Admiral Jameson called to him and caused him to turn back.

"Yes, sir?"

"Before you go, Admiral Janeway would like to present something to you," Jameson stated while Kate opened the box to reveal an additional pip. "If you so choose, and at Admiral Janeway's request and the approval of the Admiral's committee, we would like to appoint you to be the new Captain of  _Voyager_."

He was stunned and had been royally caught off-guard. He was humbled at Kate's request and gladly accepted the offer. "This just means, Commander, well I mean Captain, that when I have to go on some of my space missions in my new role, that I'll be sure to put in a request to have  _Voyager_  be my ride, so I'll still be your boss," she added with a wink.

He laughed. "Always, ma'am," he added with a smirk.

Within the next hour or two, Kate and Sage had informed the crew of  _Voyager_ of the change in command, and what all would transpire. After the meeting was over, Kate spent time greeting some of the crewmembers, some of whom couldn't help but cry as they didn't want to see her step down but ultimately everyone understood why she had chosen what she did. She and Sage shared a private moment together and knew they would see each other a lot over the next few days, as she would have to share all the logs and relinquish her Captain's codes to his command.

As he strolled out of the conference room, she was hit with a sadness as the realization that she would no longer be serving onboard the great ship. Her belongings would be boxed up and returned to her. She would greatly miss that thrill and excitement of never knowing what the next day would bring. But, when she turned around, she quickly saw that her mother, father and daughter were standing at the back of the room waiting for her. In that instance, she realized this was her life and that was all that mattered. She hastily walked towards the back of the room and wrapped them all in a hug.

Kathryn beamed at her and kissed her cheek before wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"A very wise man once told me that home is wherever you happen to be," she stated and looked over at Chakotay who couldn't help but smile. "And while that is true, I'm glad that you've chosen to stay home with us."

Kate leaned into her embrace. "You know Edoda has to be careful because he's going to be living with two Admiral Janeway's for a while now."

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Actually, I can't think of any way I would prefer it. Having all my girls at home. My life is complete."

Together the four of them strolled out of Starfleet Headquarters together. The  _Voyager_  days may be coming to an end, but they had many chapters left in their life story that lay ahead. And ultimately, no matter what happened, they would always have each other.


End file.
